nomarriage.com

The purpose of NoMarriage.com website is to allow men to better understand two very important issues that get very little attention:

# 4 out of 5 men regret marrying.

Divorce rate is around 60%. Majority of remaining married men are stuck in sexless marriages with nagging and bitching wives, but they choose not to divorce because they are afraid of being wiped out financially during divorce. Furthermore, majority of relatively happy marriages are among very religious people, people choosing to live a simple lifestyle, people living in the rural South/Midwest, and recent Hispanic immigrants. If you are a normal American guy living in a large metropolitan area marrying a normal college-educated American woman who is looking for the American dream (a nice house, kids, good life), then you are extremely likely to either get divorced or trapped in a miserable marriage.

# Foreign women from Latin America, Eastern Europe, and Asia make much better wives than American women.

An American woman has several fundamental problems that will never go away and that will get much worse a few years after she is married:

1. Her inherent anti-male bias and pre-occupation with fairness that was drilled into her at high school, college, and through the media. Her constant confrontations and trying to prove herself and to make a point.

2. Her self-centeredness, her ridiculously high expectations, her sense of entitlement, her high-maintenance, superficial, and stuck up attitude, her snootiness and her sense of superiority. This "princess" syndrome means that she will always think that she is better than you, and that she deserves and she is entitled to whatever she wants from you.

3. Her general mental instability and psychological disorders.

4. Her using sex as a weapon and reward to get things.

Foreign women generally don't have any of these problems. Marrying an American woman simply does not make sense. The ONLY reason men stay with American women is because they did not have enough exposure to foreign women. Any man who spent a few months in Brazil or Russia will not even look at American women again.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this website for real?

Yes. This website is very serious. Most men are in denial about this subject until after they are already trapped. Do yourself a favor and don't delude yourself by thinking that "you are different" and "it's not going to happen to you".

Again, this is dead serious. Marrying a modern western woman will probably be the biggest regret of your life.

But my girlfriend is great...

A modern western woman is fine for a short-term relationship (particularly if it's mostly focused on sex). The problems start after marriage, particularly after you have children. A modern western woman is raised to become an awful wife. Nothing can be done about it; the problems are in her head and they are 100% incurable and only get worse the more you are with her. Marrying a modern western woman is the game you simply do not want to play; the only possible outcome is that you become a loser. Get my book. It'll be the best $9.95 you'll ever spend on this subject.

Is this website about all American/Western women?

Women to avoid are women interested in Career, Personal Success, Personal Growth, Finding Themselves, and Self-improvement. That includes all career women and the majority of other North American and Western European women. I mostly use "American woman" throughout the website because it bacame synonymous with everything that is wrong with modern western women. Substitute American with British, Canadian, Australian, Scandinavian, etc if you don't live in the US.

How/why did you start the website?

Around the year 2000 I was in my late 20s and I noticed that almost all American women around me are either already mentally unstable, or they become mentally unstable after marriage. So married men are forced to live their lives constantly trying to please their wife's ever-evolving needs and wants, as well as constantly trying to prove and validate themselves to their wives. I started doing surveys and researching it further. I then put together the website and wrote the book. This whole thing is a public service announcement more than anything else.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/faq.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/faq.html

Is the website written by you?

Most of it is not. It's a collective thinking of many different men (I found most of it on various discussion forums). The book is written by me.

Why are you against children?

I am not against children at all. I just don't want my children to be raised by a modern western woman, whom I view as a selfish parasite. "Anti-children" rhetoric on my site is not about any anti-children ideology; they are just quotes that reflect the reality that many parents regret having children for whatever reasons.

Are you divorced?

I am 34. I have never been married and I don't have children. At this point I have very little contact with western women. I am not interested in getting married because I don't want to have children at this time. I will only marry a woman from Latin America if I ever decide I want to have children, and I will most likely move to Latin America permanently by then.

I am trapped in a bad marriage. What should I do?

Probably get a divorce. Then take a long vacation in Brazil so you can get a perspective on how real women should be.

Order Fire Your Wife also. The book will help you understand what is wrong with your marriage and what your next pre-divorce steps should be.

What are people saying about your site/book?

I HAD to email to say, I wish I had visited your site four years ago! I've travelled overseas a lot, and everything you write is 95% true! If I had seen your site before, I wouldn't be saddled with two kids and an ungrateful wife who cares nothing about her appearances since the marriage! I would kill, at this point, to be able to take your advice about foreign women! Anyway, for all men who haven't been suckered yet, I want to thank you much for your services and hope that everyone that sees your site takes your advice! Again, thank you.

Good to see that someone is running an informative website where men who are in denial and the inexperienced youth can go and read the truth.

This is so true...

it should be in the Bible, under the Psalms...

Good write-up about the site written by a woman - check it out if you are still skeptical.

Email me at noMarriageSite (at) Yahoo (dot) com if you have any further questions.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/comments.shtml

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/comments.shtml

80% of American women develop Postpartum Depression after giving birth. * more on statistics

"Postpartum depression is a common, but frequently unrecognized, devastating mood disorder," says Kathryn Leopold, M.D., assistant professor of obstetrics at Albany Medical Center in New York.

Postpartum depression (developed within six weeks of delivery) is severe and long-lasting, with symptoms including:

Anxiety, sadness or despair (constant mental basketcase and bitchy attitude)

Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, especially failure at motherhood (you will be blamed for everything she does wrong)

Loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities (sex stops, constant nagging starts)

Difficulty concentrating or making decisions (similar to mentally retarded child)

Fatigue (did nothing the whole day, yet always tired)

Changes in appetite or sleep (becomes fat, then obese)

Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide (completely mentally insane)

The point here is that you don't want women's problems to become your problems.

67% of "women of independent minds" agree that they are mentally messed up. And that's before they give birth and have Postpartum depression on top of their existing mental problems. Truly scary stuff.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/postpartum_depression.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/postpartum_depression.html

Why men should not marry.

All the older guys I know, guys that are 55 and older are telling me the same story; don't do it. It just turns to crap no matter what you do. They'd rather be independent. At best it's a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure. The problem is that when you're young, you just naturally fall into this mind set where your whole self image is based on how women regard you, and so you spend all your money and energy trying to make yourself acceptable to them. Then later in life the shine wears off and you finally realize that you've wasted yourself on a bunch of crap.

Children - "the ultimate human experience"

I couldn't even begin to list all of the older folks i know from work or through my family with kids they either don't get along with, are disappointed in, or are so distant as to not even be a factor in each other's lives.

I'm really skeptical about the idea of children as "the ultimate blessing." How many friends do you have with little or no meaningful contact or relationships with their parents?

I would wager the statistic for happy child/parent relations would be as bad, if not worse, than the marriage numbers. Who wants to deal with TWO bitter, unfulfilling relationships?!

Marriage is a sham for men. There is no benefit. If you are about to get married, think it over. Don't let your dick do your thinking for you. Don't let your punch-drunk I'm in love euphoria put you on auto-pilot. You will wake up in a hell of a hangover staring at this woman who will control your life.

A few years ago I went through a major depression over this until I started talking to all the older guys I knew...and they all said the same thing; "don't do it, it's shit. Even when it's not bad, it's shit". You end up being closely tied to an old woman. Think about that. I can go to Europe or the south seas tomorrow. If I was married I wouldn't have the money and I'd have to ask HER permission. Don't get married unless you are absolutely religiously in love with her. Like carry her sick aged body to the toilet and wipe her ass and be happy to do it kind of love.

What I'm saying is that human beings are nasty weak treacherous creatures that are for the most part totally untrustworthy. Experience is my basis for this statement, both mine and others who I know or who have written reliable histories. If you can find a woman to be your companion who is not treacherous, a deceitful little actress, a sly whore or a manipulative nag or a shrieking hag, then you are among the lucky few. Congratulations. I hope your luck continues to hold out.

Ok, assume that you will end up divorced and won't see your kids and lose half of your assets, how different is that from being married?

Most married guys I know are working their asses off to pay bills, rarely to get to spend time with their families, mediocre or no sex life, and have wives that spend as much of their money as absolutely possible.

My problem with marriage isn't a fear of divorce; it is that the whole thing sucks divorce or not.

What security is there for men in marriage?

If I cheat on my wife, she gets half my shit.

If she cheats on me, she still gets half my shit.

Why the fuck should i get married?

Fuck it man, it's easy to get depressed about not being married when we live in a society that constantly feeds us the image of the happy couple. It's one big lie. The happiest person alive is someone who isn't a prisoner dependent on another human being... We only have 80 or so years on this rock to achieve true freedom

Very few marriages last nowadays, and even guys older than me are telling me not to even think about it... It's a grossly overrated source of happiness. And for the 80% that do go through divorce, it will financially ruin you for life. Period. You can take your best 10 earning years from say, 35 to 45 and take all the wealth you would have accumulated and flush it down the toilet. Because it will go to her and her lawyer. If it happens naturally and it's good then great, good luck. But the worst thing is to force it, to make gross exertions and ignore all sorts of red lights going off just to be hooked up and "normal". Get some hobbies. Relax. Hang out. Enjoy. Take life as it comes.

As men, we all know that a woman's primary objective is to marry. After years of experience I've discovered their most commonly used strategy. here it is:

1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.

2. Guy delays.

3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.

4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.

5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.

6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.

Then 5-10 years later the guy is an empty shell of his former self. Girl is a ruthless manipulating machine. Girl divorces loser husband. Girl takes 80% of guy's stuff because the guy is too brain dead to find a good lawyer. Girl lives happily ever after. Guy becomes bald alcoholic who dies of heart attack at 45 years old.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/why_men_should_not_marry.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/why_men_should_not_marry.html

Sex after marriage stops.

Here's why I'll be with my girlfriend tonight and not my wife.

Two phone calls this afternoon:

1. Me: Hey sweetie, my mom called and she wants the kids to stay over tonight. What do you say I pick up a bottle of wine and we open up the hottub.

Wife: No, John, you know Tuesdays are difficult days. I had carpool this morning and I'm just too tired. . . .

2. Me: Hey sugar, you want to get a drink tonight after work?

Girlfriend: Why don't we just go to my place?

My wife reads in the kitchen until I fall asleep to avoid having sex with me, or if I am not tired, she waits until I am in the shower and then gets into bed and goes to sleep.

Prior to marriage: Real sex is unequivocal to anything else, including food and oxygen. Porn is only there if you're in-between girls. Up to four years of marriage: Sex is great and when you finish with the foreplay (usually 30 minutes of begging), you have a pretty good time. Porn is okay

After four or more years of marriage: Sex = Been there, done that, nothing new. Porn is now the better since at least you're seeing something new and fresh. Sorry girls, we love you forever, but even eating steak and lobster gets old if you do it too much.

My take on marriage: It's a great way to complicate an otherwise amicable business relationship with sex.

I can remember my last blowjob like it was yesterday. Actually it was six years ago the day before I got married. Sex then was four to five times a week. Now I have a four year old son who sleeps in my bed with my wife more nights a week than I do. Sex now maybe once a month. Triple that for vacation sex. I have noticed that the rate goes up for a short period of time but drops off quickly when large purchases are made (house, Landrover, shopping sprees, new floors, etc). I am thirty eight, not happy, and slowly methodically plotting my way out. I always love the look in the eyes of my friends who say that won't happen to them.

When we were changing for the reception after the wedding and I tried to kiss her (and after 3 years of mind-bending sex), my wife of 45 minutes said "No more of that. We're married now."

My wife was a frigid, shriveled bitch. Before we were married, we had plenty of sex, but as soon as we passed the six month mark after our wedding, she stopped being interested. My wife only fucks when she "feels sexy." Translation: when I give her jewellery. She is just a withered old bag at the age of 35.

My granddad told me an insightful story before my wedding. He said for the first year of marriage to put a penny in a jar every time I had sex with my wife. Starting in year two, take out two pennies every time we had sex. He said there'd be money in the jar when I died. I think he's going to be right.

I've been married 15 years and my wife and I have lived most of that as brother and sister. There has been no sex AT ALL for the last four years. Get a girlfriend or get used to it. Marriage is all about learning how to do without sex.

My wife reached a point where she only uses sex to get something, and she doesn't happen to want anything at the moment.

My GF was damn good to me, in and out of the sack. We probably had sex, on average, 10-15 times a week. Anywhere and everywhere. Even a once a day BJ on average. Things were great.

That was, until we got married. A day later, everything had changed. Got it once on the honeymoon, and she told me to "hurry up and finish". When I ask her why she never initiates anything, never even flirts anymore, when she used to before, she says "I was trying to get you to marry me then".

I have been married 3 times. Yup, slooooowwww learner. Each time it was good/great sex before marriage and lucky to have any sex after the first year of marriage.

No more sex. Period. She's too busy spending my money putting traventine in the entryway, redoing the kitchen with Corian, redecorating the bedroom, having parties, and all that other shit, or talking to girlfriends incessantly about the same.

Wife is overweight, no sex, doesn't cook anything not in a can. 3 kids. I am stuck. I can't even cheat on her since we do a mail order company out of the house. No alone time, no peace.

I think I am going crazy.

Oh, another fun aspect - wife is a born again Christian, so if I bring up the sex issue she uses the bible to justify herself. I argue that, and kazam, I am Satan, and no sex for Satan. If I do not argue, no sex for me either.

I used to pay a lot for sex, like my whole salary.

Then I got a divorce and now sex is easy, fun and free!

My little sis is married and has two kids under 6 years. She says that sex to her is "just one more person wanting something from me".

I walked into a large bedroom when my wife was changing into her outfit to get on the plane to start our honeymoon, admired her gorgeous half-naked figure with a 'you wanna knock one out right here and now' look on my face, and she said, "Oh, no. None of that nonsense. We're married now." I mean she changed *instantly* from this funny happy woman into this scheming bitch who just had plans to buy and redecorate a big house and throw parties in it with my money.

Here is a typical married woman:

I give birth to your kids and you complain we don't have sex? How do you think they were born, osmosis? Who takes care of them, drives them to school, picks them up for after school activities, drives them to sports, takes them to their friends houses, plays chauffeur, cleans, cooks, goes to PTA meetings and then caters to your sorry whiney ass when you get home. To top it off after you eat, fart or burp you walk out the door and go out with your buddies.

You want sex? Go fuck yourself! I'm too tired.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/marriedsex.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/marriedsex.html

Only marry foreign women.

"Now you understand why US men prefer foreign born women: THEY TREAT US BETTER, RESPECT US, APPRECIATE THAT AFFECTION WE SHOW THEM, AND ACKNOWLEDGE OUR EFFORTS TO PROVIDE A BETTER LIFE."

A huge percentage of American women are selfish, flighty, insecure, needy and psychotic, and quite capable of concealing those traits during the dating phase

White 'career' American chicks are the bottom of the barrel marriage-wise.

Foreign women from South America, Eastern Europe, and Asia are at the top. Only guys who travel (in other words, guys who are successful and ambitious enough to travel a lot) find these. But they never, ever go back.

Foreign-born women living in the US are the next best. They get married early...they are highly sought-after by American guys for their wifely skills (hell, any women who has ANY ability to be a wife is better than your average American chick, who knows NOTHING about being a wife)

Bottom of the barrel---white American chicks. Yecch.

Here's a story: I knew a guy who was Hungarian (parents emigrated) who tried for 15 years to find a half-decent women to marry. He's a doctor, by the way. Finally after 8 psycho-weirdo US chicks, he went back to the 'old country' to find a wife. The people there were lining the women up for him to meet...he's a rich American guy...they are considered the best husbands in the world.

He found this lovely wife. She is a total gem, and he's happy as hell. 2 kids. Happily ever after.

I will go one step further and differentiate between Western women vs. non-Western women. This is not just an American phenomenon, most women in Western countries have that cold, bitchy, superficial, stuck up attitude. A lot of Western women hold themselves as the pure center of the relationship. If the men don't fit a rigid and unrealistic criteria or she doesn't feel the man can take care of her enough (even if she has a higher paying job) then she will drop him like a hot potato, regardless of his character or commitment to the relationship.

Popular Myth: Western men looking for foreign wives are only seeking subservient slaves.

Truth: Most Western men today are evolved and modern and truly believe in the 50/50 system. Most Western men are dismayed by the lack of sincerity of Western women. I can do my own laundry and cooking thank you!

Yes, Latin American and Eastern European women do make better mates because both come from more conservative and family oriented cultures where relationships and commitment are actually revered.

I was absolutely blown away by the quality of women on my trip to eastern Europe. Classy, cultured, traditional values, how could you ask for more?

One year with my Japanese girlfriend

So far...

-No fights.

-Great sex every night.

-She cooks a delicious meal every night (unless I take her out).

-No guilt trips for going out with the guys.

-Thin and absolutely beautiful.

Think I've finally found myself a keeper. One thing's for sure; I'll never go date an American girl again.

Latin American women seem to make decent wives. My friend married a hot girl from Venezuela. Sweet, beautiful, cooks, cleans, and is the perfect wife. Like how American women were in the 1950s America.

As I said, it's a competitive marketplace. We're not looking to marry other men. The real world is not about what is fair, but what you can get.

American men have options. American women do not. So the American women huff and puff, and scowl at the incoming foreign brides who don't demand the feminazi equality bullshit. You WISH American men didn't have choices. You're like a labor union that's pissed off because the company is hiring non-union employees.

Honestly I wish I could have found an American wife with all the qualities of my foreign wife. I could not, because they do not exist. Here is a partial list of her loveliness

1: Sensible and good with money.

2: Genuine commitment.

3: Very family oriented.

4: She enjoys housework.

5: Hard working.

6: She does not have to diet to look great

Foreign women are comfortable in their femininity. As a male I am attracted to this. And I love her with all my heart.

I believe that American women have priced themselves out of the marketplace. Too needy, too many headgames, too easy to divorce.

Not many foreign men want American wives either.

American women..

- highest maintenance (I've never heard of a foreign bride demanding her husband buy expensive house & cars)

- fattest in the world

- most likely to cheat

- highest rate of divorce (60% - US-US marriages; 20% - US-foreign marriages)

- largest payout in divorce court (you'll be ass-raped for everything you earned, plus most of what you will earn for years to come)

- bitchiest

- most likely to nag constantly

- most likely to believe in feminism and "equality"

- most likely to hate men

- spend least amount of time with her children

- worst at cooking and cleaning

- fucked & chucked by tons of guys before tricking you into marriage

3 reasons to marry an American woman

1. You actually believe BBW = big BEAUTIFUL wife.

2. You believe nagging is essential for personal growth.

3. You really look forward to the day your BBW wife divorces you and you gladly fork over 50% over your hard earned assets, plus child support and alimony (a lard ass bitch for sure is not going to have a good job). Then after that you have to figure out how to live on 20% of your income.

Every foreign girl I've met was superior in every conceivable way to any other girl I've known, from attractiveness to personality.

I have a foreign Latino girl and she blows away American women. This web site are 100% true; I can speak from experience of living with my girl for a month. I could never go back to American trash women. I also use to think web sites like that were stupid until I had the experience for myself. It has changed my life for the better, made me look at American women in a different light.

I wouldn't even consider dating an American women, the majority are bitchy prudes that only put out when they think they can cash in. I for one will never spend a huge amount of money of some stupid bitch just to get laid. Mexican and Asian women are a much better choice and they look better than American chics too.

After many many years of dealing with American women, I've hit an interesting point. I've lost ALL sexual interest in them, in fact I just about puke walking down the sidewalk on any day, seeing all those shitty, rude, mean, snotty American women.

Strange thing, cause for so long I've been quite a horndog, chasing women at all levels. I'm still totally attracted to foreign women...Indians, Orientals, Europeans.

But show me an American chick and I basically couldn't care less. Tell me how "beautiful" she is...doesn't matter. I suppose from an intellectual viewpoint I can see the beauty, but it's not any more attractive to me than...let's say...admiring a beautiful horse or a well-groomed cat. OK, admirable, but not sexy folks.

They say that sex is 90% mental...well, my mind has rejected American women completely.

Since I've been traveling overseas I have met many nice Japanese, Russian, and Spanish women. I can tell you this....the women are so much better. I want a lady that, when I get home from work, would rather kiss me than scream at me for some trivial reason like I didn't mow the lawn. I can do without the nagging thanks. To all my fellow American men... American women are easily replaceable...go Asian, or Russian, even European (except British, Italian, and French women) and you can't go wrong. Experience is the best teacher.

I can not date white American women anymore. I was in the navy and I have seen the light. Women from other countries just look better and treat you better too! I didn't pay for shit when I was overseas and I pay up the wazoo here. Any rational person can figure it out from here.

American women are high-maintenance primadonnas with attitudes. I'd take a foreign born Russian or Latina woman any day. They are much nicer and normally MUCH SMARTER than most American women - plus they don't watch Rosie and Ricci Lake - they go to the library or perform outside activities.

Dating or being married to an American woman is like driving a beat-up Ford Escort. If you are only used to driving a beat-up Ford Escort, then you have no idea what it feels like when you drive a Bentley or Ferrari. You need to at least test-drive a Ferrari, so you'll have a reference point on what a real car feels like.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/why_foreign_women_are_better.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/why_foreign_women_are_better.html

Marry only if YOU want children.

Marriage today is really for weak men or for men who want to raise a family.

I'd rather be single or fuck 20-something prostitutes in Germany, Australia, etc, than spend the last 50 years of my life chained to an old, wrinkled, nagging, bitchy woman who could ass rape me in divorce court at the drop of a hat.

I don't get lonely. I'm not needy, insecure, dependent. I don't need the security blanket of a lifetime companion. The only reason I would ever get married is for having kids.. and for that, there is no way I'd marry an American woman. If looking for a good housewife, mother and role model for my children, foreign women (and American women pre-1950s) fit the bill much better.

Women need proof that if they're going to have your kids, that you'll be around to take care of them (and that if you break up, you'll bear part of the burden of raising them). So, if you're not having kids, I don't see the point.

Lots of guys are wising up to this fact. The best piece of advice ever given to me was "only get married if you are absolutely sure you want to have kids." As it turns out, I was absolutely sure and finally got married. I took a long time to find the right woman. It's a lot of work, but I am happy because the lady I ended up with is an equal in most every way. She is very capable and not looking for "someone to take care of her."

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/kids.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/kids.html

Children are so overrated.

There is an unspoken taboo in our society where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have kids, that you are a monster, an evil, despicable monster.

The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion, they think.

However, underneath it all, underneath all the B.S. is the truth that we all know:

Children are overrated.

For every precious moment where the little brat does something special, there are 1,000 moments where they drive you crazy.

They literally tear your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wives appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on.

Oh yeah, the worst part is yet to come - the teenage years. I could write volumes on this subject.

The reason people have children is because of this unwritten societal norm where the standard is to get married and immediately begin to produce offspring because "that's the thing to do".

Here's another fact for you if you're interested in the subject: the highest points of martial satisfaction are: 1) after the kids leave and 2) before the kids were born. Look it up, it's true.

I decided not to have kids or a wife...

And haven't regretted it one bit!!! I look at all my sorry faced friends straining to make ends meet, having the endless honey do lists, soccer games, Dr bills, bitching, whinny little brats, debt up their asses!!.....and me....well I focused on work and saving money and have no debt, date all different kinds of women, no strings attached, buying a brand new custom house that my friends and family can only dream about, and will be able to retire at 45.....

Yea, I may grow up old and have no one but look....most of you will be divorced and so broke after raising kids, alimony, child support, kids college...that you will have nothing to show for it when you are 65 and still have to work till your are dead......sorry thats reality.

My relatives have given up asking. They know better. Then someone always pulls me aside and says, "I would love to have your life".

I think most people end up having kids because 1) They're too stupid to know how to use birth control properly and/or 2) They have an idealistic, completely unrealistic vision of what parenthood entails.

People imagine dressing their daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with their son. They don't think about being awoken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours. They don't think about the mortgage company threatening to foreclose, or the electricity being shut off, because the husband can't pay all the bills on one income.

More people should think about these things, and fewer people should be having children. Parenthood should be left to those few couples who are willing to take the good with the bad.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/children.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/children.html

Why marriage no longer makes sense.

Traditional marriage balances different privileges and obligations for men and women. Modern woman wants all the benefits of "equality" without any of the responsibilities.

Traditional Western culture balanced special privileges for women with special obligations, and the same for men.

Equality states that no one get special privileges, and that responsibilities and rights should be equally shared.

Either system is balanced and fair. The problem with modern Western culture is that many women want only the positives from both systems:

They want special privileges from the traditional system (men paying, being "gentlemen" by using special deferential manners and language to women, being the main breadwinner, etc) but not the old-fashioned obligations (being modest and ladylike, being a housewife, etc).

They want the positives of equality (rights, equal access to work and education, etc) without the responsibilities (paying your own way financially a full 50% for life, taking risks with no safety net, and taking your lumps without complaint like men do...not expecting to be protected or sheltered from harsh reality, etc).

You can't take only the good from both systems...you have to take the bad with the good in any balance you strike. When women try to have their cake and eat it in this way, the bad doesn't disappear...it gets paid by men, and this is why the current culture is one of exploitation by selfish hypocritical women...and it's why men are tired of the inequity.

If American women chose one system or the other and took their full share of the bad with the good there would be no problem. But current American culture discourages women being looked at critically, instead projecting all blame unjustly onto men; and so the inequity is rationalized away.

This is why other cultures which haven't got this fucked up as far as gender relations go, start to look attractive. The women there expect to give as well as get.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/nosense.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/nosense.html

Examples of modern American women.

The following was copied from the website of a woman critical of my site. This woman obviously thinks she is perfect, and that one day she will make a great wife. And somebody will probably marry her and then wonder why his marriage is not going well.

4.31am - Arrive home. Briefly debate removing make up, before concluding

that there's nothing in my house that couldn't be improved by a little

glittery eyeshadow smeared over it. Go to bed.

5.50am - Wake with terrible desire for Ribena.

6.32am - Throw up. Reflect that although can quite easily identify the

cause of the purple component, the bright yellow remains a mystery.

6.48am - Throw up again. Remember falteringly the previous night's

experiments with yellow chartreuse, hitting self hard on the forehead all

the while.

7.07am - Fall asleep on bathroom floor.

8.44am - Wake, remove contact lenses, go back to sleep.

10.22am - Wake up with very bad feeling in the spleen area due to sudden

recollection of phone call to ex boyfriend at two in the morning and

inability to remember what was said. Check call duration: seven minutes.

Jesus fuck Jesus fuck.

10.59am - Wake with earth-splitting headache: go in search of and locate

the last two remaining Nurofen in the house.

11.15am - Throw up last two remaining Nurofen in the house. Swear

expansively.

2.03pm - Woken by the arrival of text message from ex boyfriend, pissing

himself over seven-minute long answerphone message left last night of

which he cannot make out a word.

3.11pm - Look for breakfast food. Have cornflakes but no milk, and tea

bags but no kettle. Where is kettle?

3.17pm - Locate kettle half under bed in apparent abortive attempt to make

hot water bottle the night before. Go back to bed.

4.14pm - Ex boyfriend rings, fancy the pub? Shower and leave.

These allegedly 24yo (going on 40) women advertise themselves on a personals site as "fit built".

So I am 47 years old, single again and dating. What I have found:

The women are pigs.

From meeting a couple do you know what they classify as an "average" build these days? Average is considered anything less then 300 lbs on a 5'2 lady. 300 to 500 is considered "Rubenesque" while over 500 is considered being a BBW which I have learned is "Big Beautiful Woman".

Good God American women, you are turning into disgusting pigs!

Picture of a Big Beautiful American woman relaxing in the park.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/modern_american_woman_1.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/modern_american_woman_1.html

Dear Abby:

I have been married for over 11 years. My marriage was a dream come true and appears to be ideal, with a loving husband, a big house, nice jobs, fancy vacations and now two children.

A twist of fate started seven years ago when I was reunited with an old friend from high school. Within a year we became intimate and very attached. We tried to stop seeing each other, but our separations wouldn't last.

Four years ago I got pregnant with my second child.

It turns out the child is not my husband's. My friend wanted me to divorce my husband but could only offer his love and companionship and not the marriage or lifestyle I now have.

I was scared of starting over in life. My secret relationship and all communication with my friend ended shortly after I gave birth. No one has any idea of our affair.

I recently was in contact with him after 2 1/2 years. We still love each other, and I don't think I can live without him. I feel so guilty about my feelings that I cause a lot of arguments in my marriage. I mentioned divorce to my husband, so now we see a marriage counsellor. It has been helping.

The problem is the entire story isn't out in the open. I know I really messed up. Help!

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/modern_american_woman_2.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/modern_american_woman_2.html

The skanks on Capitol Hill by Michelle Malkin Jessica Cutler

Meet the new Monica Lewinsky. Jessica Cutler, a 24-year-old mailroom clerk and phone receptionist, worked for Sen. Mike DeWine, R-Ohio, until last Friday -- when he fired her for using Senate computers to post to an Internet Web log that chronicled her trysts with six different men in Washington. Cutler's partners reportedly included government officials who gave her money for her sexual services.

Diary excerpt: "I just took a long lunch with F and made a quick $400. When I returned to the office, I heard that my boss was asking about my whereabouts. Loser." In another entry, Cutler explains: "F(equals)Married man who pays me for sex. Chief of Staff at one of the gov agencies, appointed by Bush."

Cutler, who aspired to be a journalist, spouted: "I'm sure I am not the only one who makes money on the side this way: How can anybody live on $25K/year??" When I was 24 and making less than that, I did it by eating Spaghetti-O's, Ramen noodles and Swanson pot pies for dinner; driving a Toyota Tercel with no air conditioning; and sleeping on a $30 futon. I did it the way most parents teach their daughters to succeed: through hard work, thrift, faith and perseverance.

The Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post featured Cutler, who dubbed herself and her online diary "Washingtonienne," in a prominent story last Sunday headlined "The Hill's Sex Diarist Reveals All (Well, Some)." Cutler posed for a fetching photo and supplied juicy soundbites. "It's so cliched. It's like, 'There's a slutty girl on the Hill?' There's millions of 'em," Cutler told the Washington Post's Richard Leiby. Millions? Follow-up dispatches appeared in Roll Call, the New York Post, the London Independent, United Press International and the Associated Press, whose wire reports on Cutler were reprinted everywhere from the Akron Beacon Journal to the Houston Chronicle to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

The news media originally caught whiff of Cutler from an online D.C.-based gossip site, Wonkette.com, authored by "edgy" (read: profanity-laced and sex-obsessed) writer Ana Marie Cox, who herself has been recently touted extensively by adoring media fans. CNN terrorism analyst Peter Bergen hosted a tony party for Cox last month; Washington Post reporter Howard Kurtz invited her on his CNN show, where she boasted, "I'm the expert at talking dirty."

Cutler and Cox, 31, appeared together on Fox News Channel this week, where they giggled and guffawed and rolled their eyes as they reveled in their sleazy celebrity. When Fox anchor Brigitte Quinn (who deserves a medal for her restraint) asked Cutler whether her parents knew about her raunchy sex life, she snorted: "They do now!" Cox cackled and went on to coo about Cutler's writing talent and future book publishing prospects. Cox generously mentioned she didn't want too much "credit" for Cutler's newfound notoriety. ("Credit?" Quinn mused subtly. "That's an interesting word.")

This female Beavis and Butthead duo illustrate what normal Americans hate about the Capitol scene: narcissism, moral bankruptcy and self-congratulatory media-political incest. The Washington Post's legitimization of this shallow "story" illustrates something else: the mainstream media's perverted moral values. The paper's recent profiles and features of social conservatives drip with condescension and ridicule. Religious activists are portrayed as intolerant homophobes; Republicans as gun-toting rubes; abstinence promoters as freaks.

But give The Washington Post two vain, young, trash-mouthed skanks who couldn't care less about what their parents think of their sex-drenched infamy, and the newspaper can't wait to help make them full-fledged members of the media elite.

Cutler and Cox apparently have no trouble looking at themselves in the mirror every morning. I pity the mainstream journalists-turned-pimps who can do the same.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/article_jessica_cutler.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/article_jessica_cutler.html

Any American man can find a good foreign girlfriend or wife.

Don't get tricked into marrying American woman who will become a lazy fat nagging bitch, take your children away from you, and take all your money in divorce court.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/foreigngirl.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/foreigngirl.html

Give me ONE good reason why a man should sign a marriage contract with an American woman.

Give me one good reason why a man should sign the marriage contact with an American woman. With a foreign bride, I guess you need to sign the marriage contract so she can get her green card and move to the United States. Ok, fine.

But with an American woman, why not just live with her and fuck her. Verbally commit for life if you want.

The ONLY thing that signing that marriage contract will do is ensure that the man receives a solid ass raping in divorce court if the relationship doesn't work out. And since American-American marriages have a 60% divorce rate, that's a very real possibility.

As a man, what's in it for me?

Unless you are that dancer who married J-Lo of course.

Love.

>> Two people can love each other without the marriage contract.

** Doesn't feel like love in divorce court.

*** Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

Vowing that you have the faith and committment.

>> You can make that vow without the marriage contract.

** Right up to the time the guy doesn't make enough $$ to keep her happy (moving target!!)

And celebrating this with your friends and family.

>> That's gay.

** What, holidays aren't enough?

Health insurance.

>> Minor benefit. If both people are working, it's a non-issue. And the marriage penalty in taxes offsets this benefit.

** That's a bullshit reason for getting married.

Making it harder to abandon someone during the hard times.

>> That's only a benefit to a woman because women get preferential treatment in divorce court.

** May make it harder on the guy, but women are OK bolting any fucking time. Especially the hard times.

Ensuring that the world and society views you and treats you as a team.

>> Why be a tool for society? Make your own decisions, and don't let society tell you how to live.

** Grow up already. Society doesn't give a rats ass about you or me.

I ask: why not if you sign a pre-nup?

>> Often, pre-nups expire after a certain amount of years. Plus, women now can contest pre-nups and essentially render them void. Pre-nups don't help at all in issues like who gets the kids, visitation rights, and child support.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/reasons.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/reasons.html

Are you a loser or a pussy?

Let's translate "loser" from women-speak into English.

"Loser" in woman-speak simply means a man who is smart enough to do things that are in HIS best interest.

· You don't spend your hard-earned money on women - you are a loser

· You expect regular sex - you are a loser

· You are not interested in marriage - you are a loser

· You don't want to be stuck with kids - you are a loser

· You don't want to slave away 60 hours a week so a woman can buy a new SUV every year - you are a loser

· You prefer South American women who treat you better - you are a HUUGE LOOOSER

The alternative to "loser" is a pussyfied man, or simply a pussy. A pussyfied man does what a woman wants - he is a docile schmuck who slaves away at work and pays her bills and not pesters her for sex. Another words, he is an ideal husband.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/loser.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/loser.html

American women will bring out the WORST in you.

Feminists believe that all men are evil abusers.

When a man abuses them, deep down they feel a creamy sense of satisfaction. Their belief has been validated.

Therefore they carefully craft a life, and surround themselves with people who will create more of this abuse.

Thus further confirming their belief structure.

This type of mentality has been studied and explored by countless psychologists, and is well-understood by all people with common sense.

Also, there is a more dangerous issue, here.

Men are very "susceptible" to women's opinions of us. Let's face it guys, when we get married, we are very likely to start changing in response to our woman's needs. We can't help it...her emotions are so strong, and our sense of responsibility to her is so deep, that we can't help but slowly become the man she envisions us to be.

That can be good, or bad. A man who is married to an angry feminist will often become more abusive, fulfilling her expectations of him. She accuses him of shit he didn't do...finally he thinks "well, if she's going to treat me like a scumbag, then by golly I should just go ahead and be a scumbag."

On the other hand, a man who marries a loving woman (who trusts men) will usually become more worthy of trust, thus fulfilling her expectations of him.

The old cliche of "behind every great man is great woman" is so true.

Men, choose your wife carefully. Her mental image of men will probably become your destiny. Avoid women who think badly of men (which as you know, includes the vast majority of American women).

American women have been born and raised in the corrosive negative world of feminism. They can't help but think like a feminist and view the world like a feminist.

So they have learned to always emphasize the negative things about men, never the positive. In any given opportunity...

instead of saying "he's protective" they'll say "he's oppressive"

instead of saying "he's smart" they'll complain "he demeans my intelligence"

instead of saying "he's hard-working" they'll say "he's obsessed with work"

instead of saying "he's confident" they'll say "he's an ego-monster"

The bottom line...every one of your qualities will be spun as a NEGATIVE, not a positive.

Of course, they don't do this when you are dating. All women put up a good face early on. Later, after a few years of marriage, suddenly the real woman will emerge, and you will subjected to negative diatribes about you, day in, day out, like a constant weight on your shoulders.

So when you marry a feminist, you will slowly change to become the bad man that she sees. All the negative aspects of you (which you've probably learned to suppress and minimize) will suddenly start to crop up again. Eventually you'll say "well, fuck it, if she's going to attack me for a bad habit anyway, I might as well indulge in it."

She will bring out the worst in you.

And of course, she'll be happy, because then she can scamper off to her feminist-asshole friends and say "SEE! We're right! Men really ARE as bad as we've said!"

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/bringworst.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/bringworst.html

Typical evening of a married man with kids.

The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatchela collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.

We had one kid. Wife stays home, but the kid wears her out. I bust my fucking ASS 60 hrs/week and get no credit. Wife gives me guilt when I don't throw everything down right after work to watch this screaming, annoying fucking kid so she can go out to the gym, or to some restaurant with her friends, or to her sister's house to watch movies.

She gets to take naps during the day when the baby sleeps, and every time I call her on the cell during the day, she is at Starbucks with her Mom or friends. She says that doesn't count as "Her time" because she's with the baby.

I've had enough. I feel so undervalued and OWNED. She is so 'entitled' now it's like 60 (or 70, or 80) hours a week from me is EXPECTED. Being at work from 8-7 counts as my 'social' time, so I am not allowed to have any friends or ever do ANYTHING outside of change FUCKING DIAPERS.

You want sex? Go fuck yourself! I'm too tired.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/evening.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/evening.html

What your future wife will be thinking a few years after you have children.

This is the discussion copied from Internet discussion forum:

Woman 1

My second husband and I were pregnant and happy. He has 3 children from a prior marriage, and all seemed peaceful. His ex wife, upon learning he was having a child with me engaged an attorney and upped the child support to the point where half of his income after taxes is being paid to her.

Now, instead of being able to stay home with my new daughter, I will have to go to work to support her. And if it ever goes bad in my marriage, I will receive very little support.

Think hard before marrying a man with children and a living ex wife.

Woman 2

I believe you will be entitled to your full share if you divorce. He will not have much of a life left though.

Woman 3

Full share? Not in Texas, it's a non alimony state.

Woman 1

You raise a good point; by being forced to work, I will have income which will count against me for alimony. I am in CA, thankfully.

Woman 2

If you are feeling distant from him (emotional neglect) or he is lashing out at you (emotional rape) - do not start going to work. You need to act now to protect whatever benefits you are entitled to later.

Woman 1

He has been very distant and stressed, and I do feel that we are drifting apart. Plus, I do not feel I should have to work due to his past mistakes.

Woman 2

I recommend if possible you make it to the 7-10 year mark before divorcing him - that will yield maximum benefits.

And don't forget, when you do drop the bomb - get a lawyer first and he has to cover the costs.

Woman 1

I did not know this. Thanks for the advice!

Well, I have the child, and I do feel quite neglected. I think maybe now is the time to cash out. Question: he has an inheritance - can I still get a piece of it after the marriage ends?

Woman 2

Yes! You get a piece out of every dollar that he gets for the next eighteen years - and by then laws will have been changed to possibly raise it to beyond 18.

Woman 3

Don't go to work. The Ex will take you back for an increase based on more household income from your job. Find a job under the table...

The court's standard bullshit line on this is "don't have more kids if you can't support the ones you already have..."

Woman 1

This is what I am thinking. Maybe just cash out now, sell the house at some point, and let him pay until the inheritance hits. In the meantime, I can remarry, after a little "playtime".

I do feel like he promised me happiness and now it is all just sadness and I have to work.

Clint Eastwood (73) and his lovely wife Dina Ruiz (37), whom he married and had a child with when he was 66.

Clint Eastwood is my new hero and an inspiration to all American men.

Stay in shape, make and save money, sportfuck American women till you are 66. Then marry a hot 30 year old Latina and have a child with her. Well, 66 might be a tad extreme, but there is absolutely no reason for men to even start thinking about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s.

I am guessing Dina does not bitch at Clint and loves giving him blowjobs.

And no, you don't have to be Clink Eastwood to find a beautiful and loyal wife 20+ years younger.

Interestingly, 66 year old nagging bitches are urged to become lesbians.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/Dina_Ruiz.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/Dina_Ruiz.html

Majority of American women have Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders.

We are talking really serious stuff here. Most American women have at least two serious personality disorder. And having personality disorder(s) and being a good wife are mutually exclusive things. That means American women are completely unfit to be wives and mothers.

Histrionic disorder: manipulative, attention seekers, dominate the conversation, use grandiose language, seek constant praise, dress provocatively, exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention, exaggerate friendships and relationships, believe that everyone loves them.

Narcissistic disorder: self-centered, seek attention and praise, take advantage of people, fantasize about success and power, expect favorable treatment, exaggerate achievements, have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships, expect others to recognize them as being superior.

Many American women also have Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive, and Borderline disorders.

Think about the women you dated and see how many of them had the combination of: mental/biological/genetic problems (defects), tried to kill herself, depressed, mood-swings, arthritic, psychotic breakdowns, unhappy, nutcase, every condition known to man, deranged attention whore.

Learn more about personality disorders here.

More on Narcissistic disorder, lots of problems with western women are related to it:

The only reality which exists for the narcissist is their own, and even when they are repeatedly shown to be wrong or misinformed about something, they will maintain their original stance, despite all contradictory evidence, no matter how compelling.

They have no interest in understanding reality, or others. Instead, they project themselves onto the other: - in lieu of internalising the other, they externalise and generalise themselves.

It has often been noted here that it is difficult to tell whether the narcissist is stupider or madder, as there are such strong elements of both in their disposition.

And the madness is real. The narcissist will twist and distort reality to infinity in order to place themselves at the earth's center. No amount of objectivity shall be allowed to intefere with this. This is their prime objective, and they will talk any amount of nonsense to achieve it. They don't care. There is only them, and their prison is a familiar, comfortable zone. It has walls padded with velvety self-deception.

So the narcissist is not just weak, stupid, vain and unrealistic. Because if their condition was just a composite of common character flaws, they could change, grow out of it, be reasoned with. Nor is it just an act of will, for when they are shown that their interests are not best served by unflinching selfishness, there is no change.

Narcissism is a mental illness - a psychological disease which shares many characteristics with schizophrenia. It is a 'self' trapped in and constructed solely by infinite self-reflections reiterating to infinity.

It cannot change. It cannot be treated. When the window of internalised other closed in childhood, it jammed shut - never to let light in again.

* More on statistics:

Medical community generally says that only 2-3% of American women have Histrionic or Narcissistic disorders. That is obviously an outright lie that flies in the face of common sense. Read about various disorders on the above link (it's a fun project, you might even find that you have a disorder of your own), then think about all the women you dated or women you know well (particularly women between 25 and 30 years old). You will see that almost all of them have at least one disorder, and majority will have two or more disorders.

Medical community generally says that 80% of women have a short-term form of Postpartum depression (also called baby blues). But the baby does not go away after a few weeks. Responsibilities and stress do not go away after a few weeks. If baby, stress, and responsibilities make 80% of women depressed for several weeks after giving birth, then they will be even more stressed and depressed after 6 months of constant dealing with the baby.

What we have here is medical community that is afraid to say that a big percentage of American women have very serious mental problems.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/disorders.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/disorders.html

20% of men who think they are fathers are not.

Random DNA checks prove that 20% of men who think they are father are not.

This statistic is truly shocking.

There's a whole evolutionary game theory worked out to explain this.

Simply put, a woman wants to bind a man into a monogamous relationship so he provides food and resources for her and her children, while she maximizes the genetic diversity of her children by having them with several different men.

DNA test at childbirth should be required to determine the actual paternity.

Discussion from pregnancy message board:

It took me 2 years to get pg, we finally said screw it, stopped trying, and went to Mexico. Whammo, a vacation and margi's did the trick.

Your son looks kind-of Mexican, right?

shhhh- don't tell my husband

From the Guardian, 1998-07-14: "More than 25 years ago the consultant obstetrician E E Phillipp reported to a symposium on embryo transfer that blood tests on between 200 and 300 women in a town in the south-east of England revealed that 30 per cent of their children could not have been fathered by the men whose blood groups had also been sampled".

From the Dallas Morning News 1999-10-31: "DNA Diagnostics Center … an industry leader, says 30 percent of the men it tests prove to be misidentified. Similar numbers come from the Texas attorney general's office, which enforces child support: About a quarter of the men who disputed paternity in the last year turned out to be right. In Florida, the proportion was one-third".

From the Sunday Times 2000-01-23: "David Hartshorne, spokesman for Cellmark, said that in about one case in seven, the presumed father turns out to be the wrong man".

From the Santa Barbara News-Press 2000-02-27: "For the population as a whole, "The generic number used by us is 10 percent," said Dr. Bradley Popovich, vice president of the American College of Medical Genetics. [15 to 25 % has been determined from blood tests of parents and offspring in Canada and the US.]"

From The Age 2000-03-26: "About 3000 paternity tests are carried out a year in Australia. In about 20 per cent of cases the purported father is found to be unrelated to the child. This figure is estimated to be 10 per cent in the general community".

From The REPORT Newsmagazine 2000-04-24: "The rate of wrongful paternity in "stable monogamous marriages," according to the Max Planck Institute in Munich, Germany, ranges from one in 10 with the first child to one in four with the fourth".

From the Independent 2000-05-12: "... biologists Robin Baker and Mark Bellis ... review of paternity studies also suggested frequent infidelity, with extra-pair paternity running between 1.4 per cent and 30 per cent in different communities".

From The Globe and Mail 2000-05-20: "Anecdotal evidence suggests these numbers bear out in Canada as well…. Maxxam Analytics in Guelph, Ont., performs approximately two paternity tests a day. And according to Dr. Wayne Murray, head of the human DNA department, one out of four men who come in pointing a finger at their spouse is not the biological father of the child in question".

From the Sunday Times 2000-06-11: "More than 250,000 tests a year are now conducted in America, and about 15,000 in Britain.... roughly 30% of men taking the tests discover that they are not the fathers of the children they regarded as their own. In the wider community, social scientists say up to 1 in 20 children are not the offspring of the man who believes himself to be their father".

From the Observer 2000-09-03: "One study followed couples waiting for NHS fertility treatment, where the men were 'azoospermic', meaning they produced no sperm and were totally infertile. The researchers found that 25 per cent of the women became pregnant before fertility treatment started".

From the American Association of Blood Banks - 2001-02-26: "The overall exclusion rate for 1999 was 28.2% for accredited labs. Exclusion rates for non-accredited US and foreign labs were slightly less at 22.7% and 20.6% respectively".

20% of men who think they are fathers are not.

Random DNA checks prove that 20% of men who think they are father are not.

This statistic is truly shocking.

There's a whole evolutionary game theory worked out to explain this.

DNA test at childbirth should be required to determine the actual paternity.

Discussion from pregnancy message board:

It took me 2 years to get pg, we finally said screw it, stopped trying, and went to Mexico. Whammo, a vacation and margi's did the trick.

Your son looks kind-of Mexican, right?

shhhh- don't tell my husband

From the Sunday Times 2000-01-23: "David Hartshorne, spokesman for Cellmark, said that in about one case in seven, the presumed father turns out to be the wrong man".

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/paternity_test.shtml

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/paternity_test.shtml

Description of modern American women.

I see most women below the age of 40+ as having unrealistic expectations, bitter, angry, extreme emotional and mental problems, unpredictable behaviour, difficult to be around and just have a plain old good time with, difficult to please, moods that vacillate constantly......taking exorbant amounts of medication, not able to keep a goal in mind and complete it, complain and nag, highly negative and far too masculine in my humble opinion......eat too much, enjoy fast food far too much, expect for the guy to pay everything, base most of their joys on going out clubbing, purchasing clothes, and finally: status

Most of them invest a lot of effort into making themselves appear pretty, special, and different than other females, but it is completely transparent.

The modern American female is an empty shell of a human being, and apparently there are few exceptions.

PS: Most of them act like they are fucking 15 years old.

Immaturity, undeveloped self-esteem, constant contradictions, emotional response and/or overreaction to the SIMPLEST misstatement or problem, an inability to handle adversity, constant self-absorbment, a total failure of inductive reasoning, deductive reasoning or simple pattern recognition, short attention span, superficiality, an extreme need for dependence while loudly declaring independence, etc...

Here is a list of qualities this worthless American woman expects in a man.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/american.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/american.html

Almost 90% of American women "marry up" to a man that earns more than they do. Coincidence? I think not.

What we see here is the typical gap between what women say (and may believe on a conscious level) and what they do (Some are conscious hypocrites, others choose wealthier men on a subconscious level, screening out less successful guys without even admitting it to themselves). Only a small minority of women at present (just over 10%) marry men who make less than them. They are the only ones who without a doubt chose men for themselves.

There is a thing called "falling in love within a framework" which means these women at a subconscious level only allow themselves to fall for men who meet their conditions in regard to success, wealth, etc. The other guys, no matter how nice, intelligent, good-natured, and self-assured, will get screened out before they are even seriously considered, in 90% of cases.

The one constant of life is that women, after you marry them, will always change. You think they are sexy and fair now? They will probably change after the wedding.

That's just the way it is, folks, no way to change it. Best thing is to look at the women's mom, married sisters, and how she was raised. That is a much better indicator than what she says when you date her.

Men lie to get sex. Women lie (like crazy) to get married. Oldest rule in the book. PS. Women will deny this all day long. Feel free to ignore their denials.

39% of American wives don't do any paid work.

Women working part-time, while their husbands work full-time in the main breadwinner position is common, but the opposite is almost unheard of.

Do you ever sense that your wife sees you as a means to an end rather than a person? Sometimes I feel like my wife loves me for what I can do for her (kids, security, whatever) but does not really care about me specifically. Many woman who are getting older want to get married, but who they marry seems less important than actually being married.

The big Red Zone for gold digging is 30-35 for most guys. That's when you're getting established enough in a career so you're not as much of a risk as a clueless student in his 20s but you're still young enough to marry and feasibly have a family. That's Very attractive to women ranging from 21 to 39.

I'm defining "gold digger" as a woman looking for security, a provider. That defines a goodly % of women. Most people think of the fake, social obsessed bleached blonde who wants jewels and a white Mercedes convertible. Still, since they both want comfort via another, I see them different more in degree than in kind.

Women want access to the three options available only to women who marry up to more successful men (which the majority do):

1) To stay home to parent

2) To mix work and parenting to their liking

3) To work full-time, but with the option to switch to either of the first two options at any time.

This is only possible if the woman is married to a man who financially subsides these choices. Then there's the after marriage option:

4) If she gets bored of him, divorce and ass-rape him in court.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/marryup.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/marryup.html

Whom not to marry.

Be Selfish Now

It's amazing how many people think that a guy looking for a good woman should do what's "fair" or what's socially responsible. Fuck that. It's each guy's responsibility to find a woman that's the best possible choice for HIM. Who will make HIM happy. This one time, when he's choosing his future wife, he needs to focus exclusively on his own needs and making sure they are satisfied.

Trust us, nobody else in the world, least of all your wife, is worrying about your needs or wants. So you should worry about your own.

And this is the last chance you'll get. Once you're actually married, you'll find that everything about marriage, legal, financial, and emotional, will be about HER and the kids. Your needs will be dead last, or even more likely, not even recognized. You will be just a provider, a mechanic, or whatever type of worker bee the woman and children happen to require at the moment.

So, take this one chance, young man, to make sure that the woman you are looking for satisfies YOUR needs and wants.

So forget about what's politically correct or socially responsible. Be selfish. That's the best thing you can do for yourself, and for your future wife.

Look for Wifely Qualities, Not Just Girlfriend Qualities. Women have been encouraged to chase relentlessly after personal fulfillment...being well-educated, physically fit, interesting, and financially secure. All these things are really great, and make for a wife who is nice to be around. BUT there are a whole other set of qualities that modern women have ignored...and even, avoided. These are the skills and habits that make them a good wife.

Of course, many people pooh-pooh this idea...many people think that marriage just "happens" when two people love each other. Au contrair. A happy marriage takes skill. There are a whole set of attitudes and habits that each partner needs to bring.

The "wifely" skills are those that the woman needs to have, or learn darned quick, if she's going to make you happy. In fact, the woman's "wifely" skills are probably the most important single factor in the success of the marriage. The woman, with her better emotional strength, and her vastly superior ability to track and manage the health of the relationship, is the key to long term success.

Of course, in the past 50 years, women have disavowed those wifely skills, as well as their natural responsibility for the relationship. No wonder that so many marriages are miserable, and the rate of divorce is sky-high!

So here's a practical tip for all you intrepid wife-hunters. Remember that the qualities that make a woman a good wife may be quite different from those that make her a good girlfriend. As the saying goes "American women are great for easy casual sex, but make terrible wives".

Don't assume that a woman, just because she's a hot girlfriend, will make a good wife for you. When you're really (really!) serious about finding a wife and mate, prove your seriousness by changing your aim. Look for a woman who may *not* make a great girlfriend, but *will* make a fantastic wife!

What are good wifey skills?

Cooking, cleaning, mothering, nurturing, wants kids, loves kids, loyal, trustworthy.

What is important is that the wife does not have a real negative attitude towards doing those things. Any trace of snobbery at doing traditional female tasks is a bad sign of a princess.

Marrige is a case where both partners need to give up something to get somthing different and greater in return. If anyone is selfish about the realtionship then it won't work.

And a marrige except for a few cases needs someone to be a provider, and someone to be a domestic.

No woman with strong feminist leanings will EVER be happy with the breakdown of tasks in the household. They will ALWAYS be preoccupied with fairness and feel they are being taken advantage of. They never realize that a marriage is letting your guard down and mutually trusting the other person!

Also, not with one who has a drunk daddy. Always check out the mom today to see your honey tomorrow. Is mom fat?

Never Marry a Woman Who has the Same Career Ambitions in a Similar Industry as You Do.

If you're not that agressive about your career, it's ok to marry a woman who is.

If you are agressive about your career, then it's not OK to marry a woman who is also agressive about her career...

unless it's a career in an industry that is very different from yours.

Basically, marriage doesn't work all that well when you have two driven, ambitious people. Clashing egos for 40 years...uh-uh. Ain't gonna work.

I would rephrase "success in career" as just some sort of success in an organization, with the definition of success left broad. so as opposed to just being a party girl who's irresponsible and can't hold a job for more than six months (and usually just sees work as a means to party), you'd want a chick who has managed to be successful in a job or as a volunteer in an organization or as an artist or whatever. Just SOMETHING that requires some level of fiscal responsibility, organizational skills, professional interpersonal skills along with taking the "good and the bad" for some higher goal. Not someone who walks away as soon as some level of disomfort approaches, or is afrait to persue ANY goal.

Never marry a woman whose father took off or was abusive to her mother UNLESS she got the right lesson from it ... the right lesson being that responsible men are to be adored and valued and their eccentricities and (mild, occasional) irresponsibilities tolerated. You need to have clear evidence that she took the right lesson -- if not, you're going to have a nightmare marriage dominated by her suspicion, paranoia, and total inability to please.

Never marry a woman who, while you are dating, is even SLIGHTLY open to other men's flirtation, who even occasionally tells you she's going out clubbing with the girls, who has any significant relationship with an ex (unless you know the ex, are included whenever your girl sees the ex socially, and can personally validate that it is purely "just friends" and trust that with your gut.) Marriagable women are totally loyal and have NO interest whatsoever in any other man or any interest whatsoever in having any other man pay them attention.

Never marry a woman who complains about your appearance, or even cares to much about it, beyond a "you aren't going to go to my mother's house in that wrinkly shirt." Let's face it: you're going to working hard to support her and the kids, and if you pack on some lbs or go gray, you don't want to worry about her deciding that it merits her having an affair.

Never marry a woman who is sexually demanding in terms of your performance, who withholds sex on a regular basis on the grounds of headache or disinclination, or thinks she has a "right" to anything in particular sexually -- who, for example, will refuse you sex or make you keep doing things in bed on the grounds that you didn't get her off the last time. You are going to get older and fatter and her libido is going to go off a cliff as she gets older and has kids. If she is even slightly hard to deal with sexually now (in terms of giving it up, or in terms of demanding things from you now) she is going to be IMPOSSIBLE to deal with five years after marriage. You WILL have a marriage which is nearly sexless.

Never marry a woman who's habitually late. If she can't get there on time when she's single, she'll never be there on time to pick up your kids from daycare or baseball practice. It will never get better.

Can be generalized to "all bad habits will persist and worsen."

Here is one of the most important tips: ignore what women say, and watch what they do. Your post reminded me of a female co-worker of mine who used to say she'd never date anyone from work. I liked her, so I waited till I quit to ask her out...whereupon, of course, I discovered she'd been fucking the guy in the cube next to her for months.

Anyone in therapy. She is getting 50 minutes a week of 'how to hate men' brainwashing. And it's expensive as fuck and you'll be expected to pay for it.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/notmarry.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/marryup.html

American women are fucked, they priced themselves out of the market.

American men have two options: 1. Sportfuck free American fuckdolls forever. 2. Settle down with a foreign girl who has no expectations.

American women also have several options: 1. Be a free fuckdoll. (That's not a bad option by the way. More and more women embrace it. I say produce more "Sex and the City"-like shows and accelerate the trend. It certainly beats the other options.) 2. Live alone with 10 cats. 3. Single mother in permanent poverty.

What American women think about it is not relevant. It's just supply and demand. American women are still desperately trying to sell their shit sandwich, but the gig is up.

You fat, whiny feminist bitches with your senses of entitlement have priced yourselves out of the market. American men want and can get Latinas, Asians, and East European women with beautiful bodies who take care of themselves and now how to treat a man. Get used to seeing white men pick these women over white American women. It is already happening and the trend will escalate.

Lots of American women bitch about American men dating foreigners. You want to know why? Because YOU SUCK. You are a pain in the ass. Period. Foreign women are easy to deal with. Having dated Europeans and Latina's, they are infinitely easier to deal with than American women. They just accept you for being a man. I hear lots of women say foreign women are pushovers - its the furthest thing from the truth. Particularly the Italians and the Latina's - they will fight with you and are very vocal. They just don't have all this bullshit that you carry around with you.

American women have so many privileges, demands and rights that smart men can no longer afford to marry them. You fat American women who think you should be treated like princesses by rich handsome men have priced yourself out of the market.

And it's American women who are upset that American men aren't marrying them. American men are perfectly content to use American women for easy sport fucking. It's a product of American women's own feminist sexual revolution. Look at the #1 and #2 reason why American men are now avoiding marriage:

1. They can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past.

2. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying.

Additionally, American guys have millions of foreign women who are dying to marry them. Lower divorce rate and no feminazi attitude.

So quite honestly, it doesn't matter if they're fat/skinny/ugly. It's not about what's fair. It's about what you can get. American men get what they want: easy casual sex from American women. Foreign brides with low divorce rates and no feminazi attitude. And American women get cats.

Deal with it.

But guess what. Guys don't need to get married. Guys are perfectly happy fucking & chucking women. That's what's great about American women. Free whores.

Women are the ones who are insecure and needy. Women are the ones who want companionship and emotional attachments. Women are the ones who are afraid of being alone and unloved forever.

Just go to the bookstore, and look at the magazines. An entire section for men: porn magazines. And entire section for women: weddings and brides magazines.

Strange thing, cause for so long I've been quite a horndog, chasing women at all levels. I'm still totally attracted to foreign women...Indians, Orientals, Europeans.

They say that sex is 90% mental...well, my mind has rejected American women completely.

It's not a question of what's "OK" or not ok. Nobody gives a shit if it's fair or not.

The point is, women in their 30's, who are career oriented, are extremely UN-desirable to most men, as wives. Those women are getting more and more undesirable as the years pass...in fact by about 35 they are more or less out of the running completely.

Men, on the other hand, are at their peak of desirability, as potential husbands, at 35, and they remain at that peak for many years. A 40 year old guy who is a decent success can ALWAYS find a 30 yr old woman who would jump at the chance to grab him.

99.9% of the single women in this country are not even marriageable.

Take away the women beyond the marriageable age (over 30).

Take away the fat women.

Take away the ugly women.

Take away the psycho Zoloft / Prozac women.

Take away the raped women.

Take away the women with STDs / HIV.

Take away the women who can't cook.

Take away the women who already have kids.

And you've eliminated 99.9% of the single women in this country.

Statistics on educated women and marriage.

60+% of college graduates are now women and it'll be 66+% in 5 years.

Educated women only marry men who are at least as educated/successful as them.

A large percentage of educated men (25-50%) either do not want a family at all or will only marry uneducated/stay-home type women or foreign women, etc.

So out of 100 graduates we have 60 women and 40 men. 10-20 out of these 40 men will not marry any one of the 60 women. That means that there is 1 eligible man for every 2 women if you estimate very conservatively, or more realistically close to 1 man to 3 women.

Discarded nagging bitches are urged to become lesbians

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/fd.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/fd.html

Fucking decent mid-priced whores twice a week is a lot less expensive than a wife.

I have made the calculation for many married man; divide all the cash you've ever spent from the first date to the last lawyer's bill and alimony payment, and don't forget to include all that furniture and vacations you would have never gone for if it hadn't been for the wife. Then divide by all the orgasms she's given you. You wouldn't believe the price some guys pay to be with a pig; $500.00 for a swine an ugly bullfrog faced POS. Imagine what $500 could buy you on the open market. Quite a few friends have blown up in a rage at me when I make this calculation for them...they can't handle the reality of their own stupidity.

I have always said this. The problem is that most men look at the matter in the short run rather than in the long run. A hooker is more expensive than a date, true, but when you've done with your marriage and you're looking at a divorce bill that totals in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, just think then of the kind of party pussy you could have bought with your hard earned dough. And you wouldn't have had to settle for some butterface with a spreading ass either, some soccer mom with no elegance or femininity.

Let's do the math. 2 decent mid-priced whores a week - $250/week (that's if you know where to look) - $1000/month - $12,000/year - $120,000 for 10 years of quality fucking.

Sounds a lot cheaper than a wife, even without divorce ass-raping.

I have known men with ugly fat wives that looked like the Terrible Mr. Toad from the Wind in the Willows that spent $300,000.00 in 10 years on them and were lucky to get one fuck a month. Imaging the top flight call girls they could have fucked for that money.

As the debate rages about the pros and cons of legalising prostitution (in the UK), S..... H..... - a man who's slept with more than 1,000 prostitutes - gives a controversial and candid account of his experience of paying for sex

I remember the first time I had sex - I still have the receipt. The girl was alive, as far as I could tell, she was warm and she was better than nothing. She cost me £20. I was 16 then and I'm 41 now. I have spent 25 years throwing my money and heart at tarts. I have slept with every nationality in every position in every country. From high-class call girls at £1,000 a pop to the meat-rack girls of Soho at £15, I have probably slept with more than 1,000 prostitutes, at a cost of £100,000.

I am a connoisseur of prostitution: I can take its bouquet, taste it, roll it around my mouth, give you the vintage. I have used brothels, saunas, private homes from the internet and ordered girls to my flat prompt as pizza. While we are on the subject, I have also run a brothel. And I have been a male escort. I wish I was more ashamed. But I'm not. I love prostitutes and everything about them. And I care about them so much I don't want them to be made legal.

In English brothels you shuffle into a seedy room so dim you can only meet the girl by Braille. But in New York last year I sat on a four-poster bed while 10 girls paraded in front of me one by one, like bowls of sushi on a carousel. 'Hi,' they would say, 'I'm Tiffany', 'I'm Harmony', 'I'm Michelle', and I would rise and kiss them. It was so touching, so sweet, so kind. There should always, no matter what, be politeness. It is the way the outside world should work, selfishly but honestly.

The great thing about sex with whores is the excitement and variety. If you say you're enjoying sex with the same person after a couple of years you're either a liar or on something. Of all the sexual perversions, monogamy is the most unnatural. Most of our affairs run the usual course. Fever. Boredom. Trapped. This explains much of the friction in our lives - love being the delusion that one woman differs from another. But with brothels there is always the exhilaration of not knowing what you're going to get.

The problem with normal sex is that it leads to kissing and pretty soon you've got to talk to them. Once you know someone well the last thing you want to do is screw them. I like to give, never to receive; to have the power of the host, not the obligation of the guest. I can stop writing this and within two minutes I can be chained, in the arms of a whore. I know I am going to score and I know they don't really want me. And within 10 minutes I am back writing. What I hate are meaningless and heartless one-night stands where you tell all sorts of lies to get into bed with a woman you don't care for.

The worst things in life are free. Value seems to need a price tag. How can we respect a woman who doesn't value herself? When I was young I used to think it wasn't who you wanted to have sex with that was important, but who you were comfortable with socially and spiritually. Now I know that's rubbish. It's who you want to have sex with that's important. In the past I have deceived the women I have been with. You lie to two people in your life; your partner and the police. Everyone else gets the truth.

Part of me used to enjoy the deception. There was something about the poverty of desire with one's girlfriend. Sex without betrayal I found meaningless. Without cruelty there was no banquet. Having a secret life is exhilarating. I also have problems with unpaid-for sex. I am repulsed by the animality of the body, by its dirt and decay. The horror for me is the fact that the sublime, the beautiful and the divine are inextricable from basic animal functions. For some reason money mitigates this. Because it is anonymous.

What I hate with women generally is the intimacy, the invasion of my innermost space, the slow strangulation of my art. The writer chained for life to the routine of a wage slave and the ritual of copulation. When I love somebody, I feel sort of trapped. Three years ago I was saved. I found a girl whom I could fall in love with ... and sleep with prostitutes with. She sends me to brothels to sleep with women for her. I buy her girls for her birthday and we go to whorehouses together. I am free forever from the damp, dark prison of eternal love.

A prostitute exists outside the establishment. She is either rejected by it or in opposition to it, or both. It takes courage to cross this line. She deserves our respect, not our punishment. And certainly not our pity or prayers.

Of course, the general feeling in this country is that the man is somehow exploiting the woman, but I don't believe this. In fact, the prostitute and the client, like the addict and the dealer, is the most successfully exploitative relationship of all. And the most pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no squalid power game. The man is not taking and the woman is not giving. The whore fuck is the purest fuck of all.

Why does a sleazy bastard like me like whores so much? Why pay for it? The problem is that the modern woman is a prostitute who doesn't deliver the goods. Teasers are never pleasers; they greedily accept presents to seal a contract and then break it. At least the whore pays the flesh that's haggled for. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

But it is more than this. What I want is the sensation of sex without the boredom of its conveyance. Brothels make possible contacts of astounding physical intimacy without the intervention of personality. I love the artificial paradise; the anonymity; using money, the most impersonal instrument of intimacy to buy the most personal act of intimacy. Lust over love, sensation over security, and to fall into a woman's arms without falling into her hands.

Having an instinctive sympathy for those condemned by conventional society, I wanted to cross the line myself. To pay for sex is to strip away the veneer of artifice and civilisation and connect with the true animal nature of man. Some men proudly proclaim that they have never paid for it. Are they saying that money is more sacred than sex?

But one of the main reasons I enjoy prostitutes is because I enjoy breaking the law - another reason I don't want brothels made legal. There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it desirable. When I have dinner every evening in Soho I always think: isn't scampi delicious - what a pity it isn't illegal. I'm sure I am not alone in this. Even Adam himself did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it only because it was forbidden.

As for the girls, the argument is that making it legal will somehow make it safer, but Soho has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. Anyway, crime and risk are part of the texture of life. Indeed, Freud tells us: 'Life loses interest when the highest stake in the game of living, life itself, may not be risked.' Risk is what separates the good part of life from the tedium.

I decided to ask my Claudia, my favourite prostitute. I first spotted her in the street in Knightsbridge 10 years ago and was so taken by her haunted beauty that I decided to follow her. There was an air of great quality about Claudia. The faces of English girls look as if there is not enough materials to go round. They have thin lips and papery eyelids, box jawbones, prominent Adam's apples and withered hearts. Claudia looks Mediterranean - her lips are full and curly, her nostrils flared, her eyes black and as big as saucers.

She walked and I stalked all the way to Soho and down Brewer Street. No. No way. She couldn't be! She turned, and walked into a brothel. I couldn't believe it. I could fuck Raquel Welch for £25.

When I ask if she wants prostitution legalised, she reacts violently: 'No way! I tried to take a regular job a few months ago. After tax and national insurance I was left with practically nothing. So I came back here. On a good day here I can take £500. I don't have a pimp, so after paying the overheads and the maid I've got more than enough.' There you are. Income tax has made more liars out of the British people than prostitution.

I know a little bit about the business side. Some years ago I became a madam and a male escort. I turned one of the rooms in my flat in Shepherd Market into a knocking shop and joined an escort agency. I went into prostitution looking for love, not money. That said, I always took cash. The women wanted company, someone willing to please at the midnight hour, and straight sex. It was nerve-wracking wondering if I was going to be able to get it up or get on, but at least I had a valid reason for liking my lovers - they paid me. I didn't care if someone called me a whore and a pimp.

So you see, I have always been a prostitute by sympathy. As for the rest of society, prostitution is the mirror of man, and man has never been in danger of becoming bogged down in beauty. So why don't we leave it alone? Or learn to love it, like me? Sex is one of the most wholesome, spiritual and natural things money can buy. And like all games, it becomes more interesting when played for money. And even more so when it is illegal.

Hookers and drunks instinctively understand that common sense is the enemy of romance. Will the bureaucrats and politicians please leave us some unreality. I know what you are thinking. That it's all very well for people like me to idealise whores and thieves; to think that the street is somehow noble and picturesque; I have never had to live there. But so what? One day I will. Until such time, I have to pay for it. How else would someone young, rich and handsome get sex in this city? Yes, yes, I know. Prostitution is obscene, debasing and disgraceful. The point is, so am I.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/whores.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/whores.html

Pussy is worthless. Do not chase pussy.

I have noticed that a lot of "get laid fast" type message boards link to my page and I decided to write a short page about the subject.

You need to learn to genially not give a fuck about pussy. It's a hard thing to do because most American men have been conditioned and pussified to do exactly the opposite. All the "get laid fast" tricks will be useless until you learn how not to give a fuck. And once you do, you will not really need any tricks.

It is never worth it to jump through hoops and to put a lot of effort into getting or keeping pussy if all you want is sex. Pussy is NEVER worth a lot of effort. Just do what you want to do with your time. If pussy wants to come along, great. If not, just tell her to get lost. If you can get pussy with very little effort, then great. But if not, pass on her and wait for another woman to come along. Sex is just a commodity. Spend your time and energy on making money, starting a business, or travel.

I would recommend that you listen to Tom Leykis an hour a day for at least a year. Think about it as therapy. In a year you'll either learn how not to give a fuck or you are hopeless.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/worthless.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/worthless.html

Marriage means you become a slave to your job.

Financial stability is the main thing women look for in a man. (If you don't believe it, tell your wife or fiancée that you are going to leave your high-paying job and travel for a few years to help you discover yourself. See how fast she'll dump you).

Raising a family in the US is getting to be ridiculously expensive. Mortgage is $2-4K/month, supporting wife and children is another $2-4K/month. Getting married means that you are committing yourself to 30 years of slavery where your main purpose is to bring home a large paycheck.

Men are realizing that all the career chasing and overtime they did gave their wives the nice house, new kitchen, big SUV, etc, so she's happy, but left them empty with no satisfaction in life -- just the dreary slavery of the worker drone. Hopefully, they eventually find something that gives their life real meaning, rather than being mere wallets for their parasitic wives who have built nice comfy lives off of their husband's drudgery.

I'm Living the American Dream and Hating Every Minute of It.

I'm a 38 y/o male who is married to a beautiful woman and have 1 kid with 1 more on the way. we have what many consider to be the ideal life. Nice house, good jobs, SUV and a overall nice lifestyle. Problem is I hate my life. I feel trapped and destined to live the life of a corporate warrior and familyman when I really long for something else. I've been married for 9 years now and while I love my wife, I feel that I need more space and to be honest long for some variety.

I wish I could walk away from it all.

We have the mortgage and a small amount on the SUV. The problem isn't money and my wife worked and saved money.

I just feel so trapped. I would love to be free again and be able to just get up and do something on a whim. I would love to go out and have a wild fling with a new and exciting woman.

Like other have said I fell for the notion of going to college, getting a good job, finding a wife and raising a family. I feel it is all a big lie and I was dumb enough to fall for it.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/dream.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/dream.html

Why marriage used to work, but no longer works.

Marriage used to be a contract where a man was supposed to provide for a family financially, and a woman was supposed to be a good wife ->

The Good Wife's Guide

From "Housekeeping Monthly", May 13, 1955.

- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about is needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

- Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

- Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

- Be happy to see him.

- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first -remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax.

- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

- Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice.

- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

- A good wife always knows her place.

Today, a marriage is a contract where a man is still supposed to provide for a family financially (90% of women still marry up, even women who make $200K a year), but a woman is a nagging bitch who stops having sex, makes your life miserable and ass-rapes you in divorce court.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/50s.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/50s.html

How women manipulate you.

They aren't insane. They are infinitely selfish and manipulative, and incredibly clever about disguising their manipulation. They think that men are just tools to use and discard as needed.

It just SEEMS like insanity to you, when you see the wild fucking weird shit that they pull on you. In reality they are busily manipulating you, doing crazy shit to throw you off balance and confuse you, so you won't see through their bullshit.

Women are, for the most part, not well suited to accept reality or to think logically. they will approach a situation with their mind already made up, then they will twist and manipulate the information to validate what they're already thinking.

So their views on reality are usually messed up. and their process for arguing/interacting is not based on reality, instead it's based on whatever irrational tools will help them prove their point (screaming, personal attacks, red herrings, etc).

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/manipulation.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/manipulation.html

Rachel's (18yo woman) "Perfect Guy" Qualities List.

Rachel at 28yo list

Rachel is a real girl. The list was taken from her website. Rachel is a typical young American woman. Keep in mind that she expects everything on the list simply because she has vagina.

1. 5'8” and taller

2. Dark brown hair with brown eyes/blue eyes

3. Handsome

4. Muscular

5. Weight depending on height – not skinny, not fat

6. Good sense of humor

7. Dimples

8. Cute laugh

9. Sensitive

10. *Affectionate* in front of friends

11. Gives me lots of attention

12. Outgoing

13. Popular but doesn't know the whole state

14. Friends with my friends

15. Nice smile

16. Straight teeth

17. No facial or body hair (except legs n under arms)

18. Pierced ear(s) if any

19. Not too many tattoos if any

20. Likes to cuddle

21. Likes to party

22. Takes me out

23. Grabs my hand to hold

24. Kisses me unexpectedly

25. Dresses nice (*ABERCROMBIE*) hehe

26. Has a good job

27. Tells me he misses me when we're not together

28. Makes me laugh

29. Open minded

30. Polite

31. Holds doors for me

32. Opens car doors

33. *Romantic*

34. Likes all type of music

35. Likes going to the movies

36. Talks to his friends about me

37. Looks into my eyes when just laying there on the bed

38. Gives massages without me having to ask

39. Plays with my hair

40. Calls me to just say hi

41. Tries not to argue

42. Apologizes for when he does wrong

43. Says what he's feeling

44. Has a car

45. Has a dog

46. Has a family that likes me

47. Compliments me

48. Is tan

49. Doesn't curse all the time

50. Wants to be with me as much as possible

51. Comes over unexpectedly

52. Wakes me up with a kiss

53. Same age or 3 years at the most older than me

54. *Trustworthy*

55. Patient

56. Likes to shop

57. Has good manners

58. Doesn't smoke

59. Occasionally drinks

60. Athletic

61. Is on time for dates

62. Calls back later when he says he will

63. Lives close to me

64. Wants to meet my family

65. Treats me like a princess

66. Has a cute butt

67. Good kissable lips

68. Good kisser

69. Good memory

70. Does special things for holidays/birthdays/anniversary/etc

71. Intelligent

72. Has direction

73. Creative

74. Likes everything about me

75. Committed

76. *My best friend*

77. Respectful

78. Mature

79. Persistent – Hard working

80. Likes walks on the beach

81. Likes just staying home sometimes

82. Writes me songs/poems

83. Likes to dance

84. Has a sexy voice

85. Cooks for me

86. Likes to show me off

87. Calls me or introduces me as his "girlfriend" not "Rachel"

88. Likes to take pictures

89. Flirts with me in public and in private

90. Puts up with my mood swings

91. Comforts me when I'm sad

92. Doesn't say “sorry” all the time when it's not needed

93. Sticks up for me

94. Likes animals

95. Sends me flowers for no reason

96. Ignores my imperfections

97. Surprises me (good surprises)

98. Doesn't ever yell at me

99. Likes picnics

100. Likes to clean

101. First to say I Love You

102. Listens to me

103. Smells good

104. *Doesn't lie*

105. Likes kids

106. Makes me the center of his world

107. Not in trouble with the law

108. Isn't a goody-goody

109. Doesn't stare at other girls

110. Doesn't talk to other girls more than me

111. Doodles our names on paper

112. Likes to draw

113. Leaves notes on my car

114. Let's me go out with him and his friends

115. Will hang out with me and my friends

116. Puts pictures of me in his car and wallet

117. Gets jealous but not too jealous

118. Dependable

119. Doesn't hang up on me

120. Calls me babe, sweetie, etc

121. Calls me cute pet names

122. Isn't conceited

123. Isn't a penny-pincher

124. Likes sports and going to sports events

125. Likes to play board games/video games and lets me win

126. Doesn't play mind games

127. Doesn't just think about sex

128. Cares about world issues

129. Doesn't make me cry

130. Leaves sweet voicemails/text messages on my phone

131. Isn't shy

132. Has hopes, dreams, and wishes

133. Not opinionated

134. Will watch chick flicks even if he doesn't like them

135. Can spell

Here is a typical 28yo American woman's personals ad. Interestingly, the only things she says about herself is that she is lazy, bitchy, ugly, and does not like giving blowjobs.

This is my ideal guy:

1. He has talent I can respect. Either he is a great artist or a musician with his own style or otherwise great at some craft. His talent doesn't follow the herd.

2. If he is not artistic than at least he enjoys the arts, music and books. If he has an interest in anything beyond mindless pop culture, video games and TV, that would be ideal. Not that any of that is too bad, but there is just so much more to life.

3. He has goals, not dreams. He strategizes on how he can realize his goals in light of whatever life has handed him as his fate.

4. He is an animal lover and has compassion for people.

5. He is financially solvent. He doesn't spend money he doesn't have and doesn't try to buy a woman's affection. He plans his livestyle to be uncomplicated and has common sense in regards to what is a wise investment or not.

6. He is not selfish and self-centered.

7. He likes his mom and female siblings and is nice to them.

8. He takes care of his emotional health as well as being conscious of his physical health.

9. He lives to travel and be spontaneous.

10. He is a one woman guy. He is not constantly searching for new ass. He's not an oral freak and wants to be with a girl who isn't into it either. He likes touching, kissing, giving and receiving massages. He knows where tha g-spot is.

11. He likes an independent lady who has her own interests, goals, and ideas and is supportive of her reaching them, as opposed to competing with her or taking no interest.

12. He wants to have a child. Not immediately, but he does see that in his future. He doesn't currently have any.

13. He's never been told by a girlfriend that he needs professional psychological help. If he has, he has gotten it and its been at least 5 years since he's gotten better.

14. He would rather do the right thing than try to get away with something.

15. He was not raised catholic.

16. He can cook and do his own laundry and doesn't expect his girlfriend to do it.

17. He believes in karma.

18. He listens to his inner voice and doesn't deny his real feelings. He can discuss issues and conflicts civily, even though a complete resolution may not come about.

19. He is not looking for a super model, but a real, normal person.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/perfectguy.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/perfectguy.html

Enduring The Incessant Whining of Single Females on Valentines Day

So here I am at work listening to the whining of single bitches in my office piss and moan about not being able to find a nice single guy.

Off Topic Note: Every year this Valentines thing gets a little worse - it used to be you could get away with a box of chocolates, some flowers - now its like Christmas.

Having been a nice guy and now having been hooked up for a while. Honey, I have a few words for you - WAKE THE FUCK UP

If you are female, single and attractive the only reason you are single is YOU. YOU ARE THE FREAKING PROBLEM. Not the guy.

Here is a potential list of issues (you being the beast not withstanding):

1. Your standards are too high (ie. I want him to have a successful career, a nice body and NOT spend to much time at work). Hint: NOBODY IS EVER GOING TO MATCH THAT.

2. You are a closet lesbian and hate men. At least be bisexual so we can watch you get it on with your friend.

3. You are selfish and self centered.

4. You are high, high maintenance. Lots of average looking girls make themselves high maintenance. Here is a hint - unless you look like a freaking super model you need to get your attitude adjusted in a hurry. Than we will put up with your shit.

5. You have a condescending attitude toward men. You thing we are all stupid. This man bashing thing is prevalent nowadays. Here is another hint: men can always tell when women are like this. We all know that if you are like this when you are single god only knows what your fucking mouth will be like when we are married.

6. To much emphasis on your career. Your career comes first and everything else second. Getting involved with a woman like this is like 2 corporations merging. If I wanted to be fucked up the ass every day I could just stay at work.

7. Gold digging. We all know that money is job #1 with lots of women when picking out men. Hint: if you knock most us out of the running than there are slim pickings left. Deal with the fact that we all aren't VP's at companies and have a Benz in the garage.

8. You have baggage or are bitter. Suddenly every man is responsible for the fact that YOU pick out bad men. Nobody told you to date the bad boys and than get fucked and chucked. You don't like being used and abused, well than don't date bad men. This is pretty simple. You got hurt, used, abused, whatever. Get over it and move the fuck on. Whatever you do don't take out all your hostilities on us because of something someone else did.

9. You are a freak and are into some weird shit. I am not talking about bondage, anal or anything like that (we would welcome that). I am talking about that you are into witchcraft, crystals, new age bullshit, etc... Stop it and become normal.

10. You are spoiled and don't know the meaning of the word compromise. Here is a hint: you will have to compromise through most of life. Deal with it.

11. You suck in bed. The Italians have a saying "men want a whore in the bedroom and lady in the living room". This is the truth. We like women that like to fuck. Bottomline. Men are easily bored after hitting the same thing time and time again. They like variety and like to be entertained. So don't be shy about trying out things or telling us you want to do some funky shit.

Last thing, I hear lots of American women bitching about American men dating foreigners. You want to know why? Because YOU SUCK. You are a pain in the ass. Period. Foreign women are easy to deal with. Having dated Europeans and Latina's, they are infinitely easier to deal with than American women. They just accept you for being a man. I hear lots of women say foreign women are pushovers - its the furthest thing from the truth. Particularly the Italians and the Latina's - they will fight with you and are very vocal. They just don't have all this bullshit that you carry around with you.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/valentines.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/valentines.html

On vacation and undersexed

The article below is from a valentine's day travel section of Sunday newspapers. Single Abroad comments are in blue.

Given the time and space to really enjoy sex. Two-thirds of vacationers don't do it.

You've studied the slick brochures that promise untold moments of passion. You've looked forward to the trip for weeks, if not months, if not years. You don't have to go to work the next day, or get the kids off to school, or make the bed, or deal with the sister with the untreated mood disorder. Not to mention, there's something deliciously naughty about the transience of a hotel room, and something exciting about adding a new spot to your list of lovemaking locales. It's just the two of you. And a ''Do Not Disturb'' sign.

Yet you wonder: Why, oh why, am I not swinging from the chandeliers of this $300-a-night hotel room with a partial ocean view?

One-third of people report that they have better and more frequent sex on vacation, according to the 2004 National Leisure Travel Monitor, a random survey of 1,350 people.

Good for them.

So what's up with the other two-thirds?

"Random survey of people who travel" sounds like they polled people who travel as couples as well as people who travel by themselves. It's possible (in fact very likely) that about one third of people travel be themselves, and those people have better sex on vacation. So that means that almost all people who travel as couples have unsatisfying sex on vacation.

Apparently they're not the couples in the brochures -- the slim, tawny, beautiful people chasing each other down a desolate beach, or sipping wine and seducing each other over a crisp white tablecloth, or clinging to each other in a crystal blue, kid-free pool.

Where's the image of the sunburned couple arguing because the guy drank too many tequila sunrises and, as a result, nothing else will rise to the occasion that night? Or the photo of the woman burrowed under the hotel bed covers because she feels fat and doesn't like the way she looks in a bathing suit, so she plans to reside in the room for the rest of the trip -- or at least until this particular depressive episode passes?

It's not surprising that we equate exotic with erotic, given our reference points -- best-case scenario brochures, romance novels, From Here to Eternity. But what it really comes down to is this: We Americans ("We American women" would be more exact) are insatiable. No matter how much we get, it's never enough.

Vacation time, that is. So when we (again, replace "we" with "American women") do get away, we can't help but yearn for perfect passion. Or any passion, for that matter.

"I'm always excited about the possibility of getting to have sex, even more so when we're on vacation,'' says a Phoenix man with a wife and three kids. "Maybe it's because I don't get sex often enough and I don't get vacations often enough, so they go together. It's never as great as I hope it will be when we're on a trip, but I'm still happy to get what I can."

His wife replies: "Sad, huh?"

TROUBLES IN PARADISE

There are a hundred ways bad sex -- or no sex -- can happen to a good vacation. What once ruined the romance for Sharon Walker, a Fort Worth accountant: a sunburn earned during a snorkeling trip in Mexico.

"I was as red as a fire engine and totally miserable," Walker says. 'I think the phrase most often heard by my fiance was, 'Ouch! Don't touch me!' So much for a romantic getaway."

Other touch-me-nots are just plain too tired. They worked 60 hours the week before, packed in a frenzy and arrived exhausted -- only to be greeted by a week's worth of hyperscheduled days.

Some people can't ever really get away, no matter how many miles they are from home. They never forget that reality awaits their return -- as do the kids, the ancient and asthmatic cat, the ailing parent and the 742 e-mails. Instead of taking a vacation, they take a seven-day, six-night guilt trip -- and that can interfere with anybody's ability to have good sex.

Then there are those who think the most exciting part about a hotel bed is that they don't have to make it.

"I see vacation as a time to get away from everything I'm responsible for at home, including my husband's sexual appetite," says a Phoenix mom of three. That's a very good example of why you should never marry a western woman, and why her husband is a complete fool for marrying her.

Trouble in paradise most often arises when one partner's desires differ from the other's. That's why a sexually successful vacation starts way before take-off, with that most untitillating technique: communication.

Couples should sit down and talk about their expectations for sex, romance and togetherness on a trip. Both people have expectations, but they don't want to share them because it kills the quote-unquote spontaneity.

But that failure to communicate is the core of most vacation disasters.

A Fort Worth couple tells of spending an ill-fated fifth wedding anniversary at an upscale resort. To mark the occasion, the wife wanted the sex to be the tender, lookinto-my-eyes-and-tell-meyou-love-me kind. She didn't tell her husband that. He put his efforts into endurance and technique.

For that, he was rewarded with the silent treatment throughout their $200 celebratory dinner.

FREQUENT FLIERS

Some travelers may not be so venturesome, but they make up for it in volume. A Phoenix woman in her 30s says that when she and her husband travel, the sex is more frequent and intense. It's the frequent part that starts to get to her after a while.

"Whether it's a three-day weekend or two-week trip, he expects to have sex pretty much every day," she says. "My guess is that this precedent is set on a couple's honeymoon, and from there on out, the man feels it's his right to expect regular sex on any trip.

"I also think it has to do with the fact that vacations are expensive, and both parties want to feel they got their money's worth."

She agreed to be interviewed as long as her name wasn't published.

Most people interviewed didn't want their names used -- especially those who've not always gotten their money's worth. Who wants to publicly admit that their long-awaited ''Barbados or Bust'' trip was a bust between the sheets?

When destination sex disappoints, the consequences can be serious. When you'd hoped for From Here to Eternity, and what you got was "From Here to Five Humdrum Minutes From Now," it can be devastating.

"You've been looking forward to it, you got a bikini wax, you got your nails done, you're revved up and thinking it's going to be really great sex, and then it isn't. You think, 'Even the bikini wax and palm trees didn't help. . . . We're hopeless.'"

When that happens, not only can vacations get cut short, but relationships can, too.

Want to have great vacation sex? Pack a good attitude (or go witout a female partner and meet women while on vacation).

"Your body isn't always in sync with your head, and laying a lot of expectations on a given night or weekend or trip can set you up for disappointment," Schwartz says. "If it isn't the best lovemaking you've ever had, so what?" You're just trying to be there with each other in a good way."

Just be glad it's not your honeymoon.

"A lot of people are disappointed by their honeymoons -- that's a common complaint," says David Olson, a Minneapolis marriage and family therapist. "The expectations are off the wall there."

This article is a good example of pathetic lives American married men live. Most of them work hard the whole year, then pay lots of money for a "romantic getaway" with their fat bitch-wife only to deal with this kind of BS throughout the vacation.

Courtesy: http://www.singleabroad.com/vacation_sex.shtml

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.singleabroad.com/vacation_sex.shtml

Women aspire to be housewives - without any of the housework.

Mothers are rejecting equality in the workplace and prefer the idea of becoming full-time housewives - but not ones who actually do housework.

This is the overall conclusion of research among 2,100 British adults that says women are happy to abandon the workplace but not if it means spending all day at home cooking, cleaning and looking after children.

Instead they want to play the "role" of housewife with a little help from, for instance, a nanny, and someone who does the ironing. And unlike Kylie Minogue, they don't want to do any dusting either.

The report, by Marian Salzman, chief strategic officer of Euro RSCG Worldwide, the world's fifth largest advertising agency, describes these women as princess-style "domestic divas" who effectively exploit their husbands. "Today, 'women's lib' means wanting to be liberated from the intense pressures of the modern-day working mum," she said.

"And what we're seeing is a serious gender divide regarding women in the workplace. This time around, it is the women who want to stay at home and the men who want to keep them in the offices and factories."

Miss Salzman, 45, who does not have children, is well known in the United States for spotting trends before they go mainstream. She predicted the rise of 1970s fashion nostalgia and, on the eve of the Bridget Jones phenomenon, spotted that single professional women would become the new, free-spending yuppies.

Her report last year, the Future of Men, predicted that "metrosexuals" - straight men who care about fashion, food and grooming - would be the new target of advertisers.

Yesterday she said 69 per cent of women thought it perfectly acceptable for females to be housewives and not to earn a salary. In contrast, only 48 per cent of men felt that women should remain outside paid employment.

Her research suggested that the motivation to spend more time at home was "self-centred" for some women. "There are many women who choose to stay home out of concern for their children's quality of life," she said. "But there are plenty of others who are paying lip service to being the 2004 version of the perfect mum.

"In reality they are domestic divas who want the flawless kids, courtesy of the nanny; a spotless home, thanks to a cleaning service; and a reputation for being a fabulously put-together homemaker.

"These are the women who are becoming a target of disdain and rage on the part of spouses who didn't expect to be shouldering the financial burden single-handedly."

She said she was not talking about mothers with very young children but those whose offspring were older and in full-time education.

"My two closest friends are stay-at-home women and I have no idea what they do all day. One of them has a daughter at university and a second daughter at high school."

Jill Kirby, the chairman of the family group at the Centre for Policy Studies think-tank, said: "It's very clear that women who have the choice between working and being at home with their children still want to prioritise their home life and life with their children."

She denied claims that women who wanted to be at home were often lazy, with their reliance on paid help. "We can't create a world where people just do what they want," she said, "but women do need fulfilment."

Last week the actress Gwyneth Paltrow reignited the debate over career versus children for working mothers, saying: "I can't understand mothers who put their career before children. There are certain women in this business who have children and I just think 'you must never see them'. You can't do movies back to back and see your child if they go to school."

Holly Hamilton-Bleakley, of Full Time Mothers, a lobbying organisation, said she abhorred the idea of women buying in child care so that they could simply sit in a coffee shop, but she did not believe this was an accurate picture.

"The dual income, two-career family is becoming outdated. Parents are finally recognising that children need time with them. Time spent with children is well spent and makes a major difference to a child's life."

But Miss Salzman said the reality was that women with older children were increasingly becoming self-indulgent. "They look at the realities of paid work - the stress, the politics, the pressure, the dress code - and they say that it would mean less 'me' time.

"And we are not just talking about women who earn lots of money. Women who earn £27,500, or £55,000, or more than £55,000 did not want to work, and men are feeling a great deal of financial pressure.

"Women think: 'What's mine is mine, and what's his is mine.' "

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/article_housewives.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/article_housewives.html

Women Who Cheat Say They Enjoy the Thrills, Study Finds

Posted July 14, 2003 -- Virtually all of the adulterous women interviewed in a recent survey said they cheat because they deserve all of the pleasure and thrills associated with a secret affair.

Ninety percent of the cheating wives said they suffered absolutely "no guilt" but felt "entitled" to the good feelings they got, according to Susan Shapiro Barash, a professor and author, who randomly interviewed 120 women from a diversity of professional backgrounds, ages and races for a recent book on the issue.

She posted ads in YWCAs to find women who were sexually active, according the report on her study in The New York Post.

She said her research reveals that six in ten women will cheat on their husband at least once during their marriages.

"Women feel entitled because they're not getting what they need in marriage," said Barash, who wrote A Passion for More: Wives Reveal the Affairs that Make or Break their Marriages. "These women would recognize her need - her desire to have more in her life than she had in her marriage. "For the women who choose it, it's with great effort, so they really juggle the affair and somehow fit it in."

Baltimore psychologist Shirley Glass agrees with Barash.

"I don't see women feeling a lot of guilt," said Glass, in her recent book, Not Just Friends: Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal . Women with careers and financial resources can take more risks, she added: "If their partners find out, they can take care of themselves."

But Barash has her dissenters. "I have not witnessed a growing experience of 'entitlement.' Their conscience is bothering them," Kristen Harrington, a marriage counselor in upstate New York, told the Post .

Glass also found surprising changes in men who mess around.

She said that men's affairs tend to be almost exclusively about sex; they're usually just getting "a little on the side" with a female subordinate.

"Now, men and women are working together as equals, with a lot of intellectual energy and common interests," Glass said. "It's a combination of emotional and sexual bonds. And it's more dangerous because it creates an alternative to the marriage, rather than just a supplement."

Still, being equal in some ways hasn't erased the differences in why men and women cheat, some experts say.

"Men have affairs to boost their self-esteem and because it's available. Their feelings are closely tied to their sexuality and potency," Brooklyn psychologist Marcella Bakur Weiner said. "Women don't just want a night of joy and pleasure. No matter what the feminists say, women want love. They want emotional attachment and bonding."

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/women_cheat.shtml

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/women_cheat.shtml

The Secret Lives of Wives

When groups of women get together, especially if they're mothers and have been married for more than six or seven years, and especially if there's alcohol involved, the conversation is usually the same. They talk about the kids and work -- how stressed they are, how busy and bone tired. They gripe about their husbands and, if they're being perfectly honest and the wine kicks in, they talk about the disappointments in their marriages. Not long ago, over lunch in Los Angeles, this conversation took a surprising turn, when Erin, who is in her early 40s and has been married for more than a decade, spilled it. She was seeing someone else. Actually, more than one person. It started with an old friend, whom she began meeting every several months for long dinners and some heavy petting. Then she began giving herself permission to flirt with, kiss -- well, actually, make out with -- men she met on business trips. She understands it's a "Clintonian" distinction, but she won't have sex with anyone except her husband, whom she loves. But she also loves the unexpected thrill of meeting someone new. "Do you remember?" She pauses. "I don't know how long you've been married, but do you remember the kiss that would just launch a thousand kisses?"

Erin started seeing other men when she went back to work after her youngest child entered preschool. All of a sudden she was out there. Wearing great clothes, meeting new people, alive for the first time in years to the idea that she was interesting beyond her contributions at PTA meetings. Veronica, on the other hand, fell in love with a man who was not her husband while she was safely at home in the Dallas suburbs looking after her two children. Hers is the more familiar story: isolated and lonely, married to an airline pilot, Veronica, now 35, took up with a wealthy businessman she met at a Dallas nightclub. Her lover gave her everything her husband didn't: compliments, Tiffany jewelry, flowers and love notes. It was, in fact, the flowers that did her in. Veronica's lover sent a bouquet to her home one afternoon, her husband answered the door and, in one made-for-Hollywood moment, the marriage was over. Now remarried (to a new man), Veronica says she and her friends half-jokingly talk about starting a Web site for married women who want to date. "I think there might be a market in it," she says. There is. Wives who want extramarital sex -- or are just dreaming about it -- can find what they seek on Yahoo!, MSN or AOL.

Much has changed since Emma Bovary chose suicide with arsenic over living her life branded an adulteress.humiliated, impoverished and stripped of her romantic ideals. In the past, U.S. laws used to punish women who cheated; in a divorce, an unfaithful wife could lose everything, even the property she owned before marriage. Newer laws have been designed to protect these women. The reality is this: American women today have more opportunity to fool around than ever; when they do fool around, they're more likely to tell their friends about it, and those friends are more likely to lend them a sympathetic ear. They probably use technology to facilitate their affairs, and if they get caught, they're almost as likely to wind up in a wing chair in a marriage counselor's office as in divorce court. Finally, if they do separate from their husbands, women, especially if they're college educated, are better able to make a go of it.pay the bills, keep at least partial custody of the children, remarry if they want to.than their philandering foremothers. "It was just so ruinous for a woman to be caught in adultery in past times, you had to be really driven or motivated to do it," says Peter D. Kramer, clinical professor of psychiatry at Brown University and author of "Should You Leave?" "Now you can get away with it, there's a social role that fits you."

Just how many married women have had sex with people who are not their husbands? It's hard to say for sure, because people lie to pollsters when they talk about sex, and studies vary wildly. (Men, not surprisingly, amplify their sexual experience, while women diminish it.) Couples therapists estimate that among their clientele, the number is close to 30 to 40 percent, compared with 50 percent of men, and the gap is almost certainly closing. In 1991, the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago asked married women if they'd ever had sex outside their marriage, and 10 percent said yes. When the same pollsters asked the same question in 2002, the "yes" responses rose to 15 percent, while the number of men stayed flat at about 22 percent. The best interpretation of the data: the cheating rate for women is approaching that of men, says Tom Smith, author of the NORC's reports on sexual behavior. When Michele Weiner-Davis, a marriage counselor and founder of the Divorce Busting Center in Woodstock, Ill., started practicing 20 years ago, just 10 percent of the infidelity she knew of was committed by women. Now, she believes, it's closer to 50 percent. "Women have suddenly begun to give themselves the same permission to step over the boundary the way that men have."

Where do married women find their boyfriends? At work, mostly. Nearly 60 percent of American women work outside the home, up from about 40 percent in 1964. Quite simply, women intersect with more people during the day than they used to. They go to more meetings, take more business trips and, presumably, participate more in flirtatious water-cooler chatter. If infidelity is an odds game, then the odds are better now than they used to be that a woman will accidentally bump into someone during the workday who, at least momentarily, interests her more than her husband does. There's a more subtle point embedded in here as well: women and men bring their best selves to work, leaving their bad behavior and marital resentments at home with their dirty sweatpants. At work, "we dress nicely. We think before we speak. We're poised," says Elana Katz, a therapist in private practice and a divorce mediator at the Ackerman Institute for the Family in New York City. "And many people spend more time out in the world than with their families. I think sometimes people have the idea that [an affair] will protect the marriage." They get a self-esteem boost during work hours and don't rock the boat at home. "In some paradoxical sense this may be a respite, a little break from the marriage."

"I wasn't out there looking for someone else," says Jodie, 34, a marketing professional in Texas and mother of two. Her continuing affair with a co-worker started innocently enough. She liked his company. "We would go to lunch together and gradually it started feeling like we were dating." At Christmas, Jodie asked her husband of 10 years to join her at the office party, and when he declined, the co-worker stepped in. "We just had so much fun together and we laughed together and it just grew and grew and grew until ... he kissed me. And I loved it."

And like their fathers before them, these powerful women are learning to savor the attentions of a companion who is physically attractive but not as rich, successful--or as old--as they are. In his practice in Palo Alto, Calif., family therapist Marty Klein sees a rise in sexual activity between middle-aged women and younger men. "Forty-year-old women have more of a sense of entitlement to their sexuality than they did before the 'Hite Report,' the feminist movement and 'Sex and the City'," he says. A story currently circulating in Manhattan underscores his point. It seems that a group of 6-year-old girls from an elite private school were at a birthday party, and the conversation turned to their mommies' trainers. As the proud mothers listened nearby, one youngster piped up: "My mommy has a trainer, and every time he comes over, they take a nap." The wicked laughter this story elicits illustrates at least what is dreamed of, if not actually consummated.

The road to infidelity is paved with unmet expectations about sex, love and marriage. A woman who is 40 today grew up during the permissive 1970s and went to college when the dangers of AIDS were just beginning to dawn. She was sexually experienced before she was married and waited five years longer than her mother to settle down. She lives in a culture that constantly flaunts the possibility of great sex and fitness well after menopause. "Great Lovers Are Made, Not Born!" read the ads for sex videos in her favorite magazines; "What if the only night sweats you had came from a good workout?" ask the ads for estrogen therapy.

At the same time, she's so busy she feels constantly out of breath. If she's a professional, she's working more hours than her counterpart of 20 years ago.and trying to rush home in time to give the baby a bath. If she's a stay-at-home mom, she's driving the kids to more classes, more games, more playdates than her mother did, not to mention trying to live up to society's demands of perfect-momhood: Buy organic! Be supportive, not permissive! Lose five pounds! Her husband isn't a bad guy, but he's busier than ever, too, working harder just to stay afloat. And (this is practically unmentionable) therapists say they're seeing more cases of depressed male libido. It turns out he's too tired and stressed to have sex. An affair is a logical outcome of this scenario, therapists say: women think they should be having great sex and romantic dates decades into their marriage, and at the same time, they're pragmatic enough to see how impossible that is. Couples begin to live parallel lives, instead of intersecting ones, and that's when the loneliness and resentment set in.

Marisol can't remember the last time her husband paid her a compliment. That's why the 39-year-old grandmother, who was pregnant and married at 15, looks forward to meeting with her boyfriend of five years during lunch breaks and after work. "There is so much passion between us," she says. "He tells me my skin is soft and that my hair smells good. I know it sounds stupid, but that stuff matters. It makes me feel sexy again."

Ironically, the realities of the overprogrammed life make it easier, not harder, to fool around. When days are planned to the minute, it's a cinch to pencil in a midday tryst -- and remember to wear the lace-edged underwear.at least compared with trying to stay awake and in the mood through "Law & Order." And as any guileless teenager knows, nothing obscures your whereabouts better than an Internet connection and a reliable cell phone. Amanda's husband has no idea she has six e-mail addresses, in addition to an account specifically for messages from her boyfriend Ron. Amanda, a customer-service rep in L.A., uses e-mail to flirt with Ron, then turns to her instant messenger or cell phone when it comes to setting up a rendezvous. "Text messaging is safer than e-mailing," says Amanda, 36, who's been married for eight years. What would she do without her mobile or computer? "No cell phone? I can't even imagine."

Along with its 4 million porn sites, the Internet has exploded with sites specifically for people who want to cheat on their spouses -- sites like "Married and Flirting" at Yahoo, "a chat room dedicated to those who are married but curious, bored or both!!" These sites contain all the predictable pornographic overtures, but also such poignant notes as this: "Ok, I know it is late almost 11:30 my time and I am still up on this pitiful Friday night. Hubby STILL at work."

Online romances have a special appeal for married women. For one thing, you don't have to leave the house. "You can come home from work, be exhausted, take a shower, have wet, dripping hair, have something fast to eat and then, if you're feeling lonely, you can go on the Internet," says Rona Subotnik, a marriage and family therapist in Palm Desert, Calif. On the Web, women can browse and flirt without being explicit about their intentions.if they even know what their intentions are. Clicking past porn, women prefer to visit sites that dovetail with their interests, such as chess, bridge or knitting, explains Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth". "They find somebody else who seems to think like they do, and then they gradually move from that to an instant message, and then they wake up one day and they cannot believe it happened to them," says Vaughan. Last year Vaughan did a survey of a thousand people who visited her Web site, and 70 percent of the respondents were women. Her results, though not scientific, are remarkable: 79 percent said they were not looking for love online. More than half said they met their online lover in person, and about half said the relationship culminated in sex. Sixty percent said their spouses had no idea.

John LaSage was shocked to come home one day and find his wife of 24 years had disappeared. No note, no phone call, nothing. He'd bought her a computer four months previously, he says, and he knew something was wrong: she'd stay up until 3 or 4 a.m., browsing online. She told him she was doing research for a romance novel she was writing, he says, and after her disappearance, he hacked into the computer to investigate. "She had set up a chat room that was called ... gosh ... 'Smooth Legs.' And so guys would come in there and flirt with her. I have transcripts. I can't tell you how excruciating it was to read the e-mails from people supposedly speaking with my wife, but she wasn't talking like my wife. That was just weird." Two weeks later he discovered she had left the country, he says. "I wasn't the perfect husband. I would have done a lot of things differently, but I never got the chance," says LaSage.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/women_cheating1.shtml

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Confessions of a Personal Trainer

I'm a lonely wife's dream, and hubby's worst nightmare.

July 12 issue - In 30 years in the training business, I've probably had affairs with more than 40 married women. Most of them were in their 30s, married eight to 10 years, with kids, and their husbands weren't paying attention to them. They felt neglected. They didn't feel attractive. Their husbands had become preoccupied with work.

In the beginning, I was scared about having sex with my clients. I was a shy, overweight kid and didn't go to the prom, so I didn't have much confidence at first. Then I got this physique and I discovered that I had this ability to charm women, and I made up for lost time. When I was 17, I put my first ad in a small paper, saying I was looking for clients to train. I had just won Mr. Bodybuilding Teenage New York State, and in my ad I was looking lean and ripped. The first day a woman called me and said, "Do you really look like this?" She asked what my girlfriend thought of my being a trainer, which I thought was strange. (I now know that when a client starts asking what my girlfriend thinks of my training, she wants to know if I'm available.) She told me she was married, that her husband traveled a lot for work and was never home. She said she found that being so sedentary had made her put on some weight. The next day I went to her house. I'd spent a lot of my savings and gotten some help from my mom to buy a really nice dark blue warm-up suit and brand-new white Adidas sneakers so I would look like a professional trainer. When the woman opened the door, she was wearing a black negligee. I went home and told my mother and father, and they forbade me to go back. My parents canceled my ad and said, "This will probably be a problem the rest of your life."

It happens all the time now. The wives today feel they have just as much right, and drive, to have a playmate as their husbands do. It's natural to want to have sex with your trainer. Remember that training is very hands-on. I'm touching them, motivating them, encouraging them, listening to them, relieving their stress and channeling their energy in a more positive way. Just as their husbands used to do at the beginning of their marriage. I'm trained to get inside their heads and push the buttons that will motivate them. But I'm also in their heads in other ways. They connect with me emotionally. It's very important for a trainer to be a good listener.

I once had an interior-designer client who was very beautiful. Like every client, she started opening up about her life; women do the same thing with their hairdressers and trainers. "My husband isn't attentive to me, he used to be so passionate," she explained. It was her birthday and her husband had forgotten. I suggested we have lunch, and she said, "How about dinner?" And that's where I went wrong. For a couple of months after that, we would work out, go back to my place and have sex. I would whisper sexy thoughts to her when I was spotting her at the gym. And then it ended. We got caught by the husband. He wound up calling me up and crying like a baby, asking me to stay away from her.

I don't feel bad about having had affairs with married women, because they were feeling neglected and they just wanted to be loved. One woman said to me her husband had never looked into her eyes when they made love. He couldn't have been that smart, because women love the eye contact. I come from a very passionate, Italian family. When I make love to a woman, I like to have spontaneous sex. I like to do it in the elevator, on the beach, underneath the table in the restaurant. I like to make them feel young, mischievous, alive. If they can have a taste of it again, they can realize they haven't lost it.

I'm 47 now, and over the years I've learned to watch out. I realized I couldn't be sleeping with everyone's wife in town. Number one, you start sleeping with them and they want to stop paying.and I make $150 an hour. I was never paid for sex. I would never do it for that. Because for me it would ruin it. I like to make love to please someone. When they say, "I feel like a real woman again," it's the same thing as when I train them and they tell me how terrific they feel because they fit in clothes they haven't worn for 10 years. The high of training is the same high as making love. I've written a screenplay about it all, called "The Trainer." It's "Shampoo" for the 21st century.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/women_cheating2.shtml

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Cheating Women Catching Up with Men?

Wed Jun 18, 8:24 AM ET

BERLIN - The modern Western woman is now almost as likely to cheat on her partner as a man, according to a new survey carried out for a German women's magazine.

In an online survey of 1,427 men and women aged between 25 and 35 by the Hamburg-based GEWIS institute for social research for "Woman" magazine, 53 percent of women said they had been unfaithful to their partner, compared with 59 percent of men.

"In recent years, numbers of unfaithful men and women have evened out a lot," GEWIS head Werner Habermehl told Reuters on Tuesday.

The survey revealed that non-sexual desires, such as the need for reassurance and understanding, were a primary motive among women for infidelity.

Habermehl said demographic factors were also behind the change in attitudes but more liberal attitudes to sex, greater knowledge about contraception, and more freedom for women had made having affairs less taboo than ever before.

As the frequency of cheating rose, the gap between the sexes was reduced, and eventually reversed.

Some 17 percent of woman said they had cheated two or three times, as against 22 percent of men. But when it came to having cheated four or five times in the course of a relationship, women moved ahead of men with eight percent against four.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articlecheating.html

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Statistics on how worthless western women actually are

That's Life! magazine survey (Dec 9 2004) questioned 5,000 women,

average age 38, across England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland on their attitudes to truth, relationships, and behaviour.

# The overwhelming majority (96%) admit to lying.

# Almost half (45%) of the 5,000 questioned told the researchers for That's Life! magazine they tell lies most days.

# Half of all women would lie to their husbands or partners to keep their relationship going if they became pregnant by another man, a survey said today.

# Figures showed one woman in two would not tell her man that the baby she was carrying was not his - if she wanted to stay with him.

# They also said four out of ten (42%) would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, in spite of the wishes of their partner.

# Eight out of ten women (83%) admit to telling "big, life-changing lies", with 13% saying they do so frequently.

# Partners (70%) are most likely to be lied to by women, with friends (65%), parents (64%), customers and clients (58%) and bosses (57%) also being deceived.

# Six out of ten (57%) admitted to stealing something, while one in four had taken from their parents. A quarter (23%) would "sneak a bottle or two" home if they were invited to a party by a well-off friend.

# Half (49%) would "kiss and tell" to the media for £25,000 if they had a one-night stand with a celebrity, and 38% say they would marry purely for money. 23% would allow their man to sleep with another woman for £50,000.

# Meanwhile, some 79% have got drunk at the office Christmas party, while a third admit to "getting off with someone they don't fancy" and 5% have ended up having sex with the boss.

# An alarming 31% of all women say they would not tell a future partner if they had a sexual disease. This rises for 65% for single women.

# Nearly half (46%) fake orgasms and more than half (55%) claim they are tired, have a headache, or feel ill to "get out of lovemaking".

# A fifth of women with a long-term partner (19%) say they have cheated on him by having an affair, while 30% of all women have had an affair with a married man.

# Most women (68%) do not trust their partner.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/article_statistics.html

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Research probes toll of marital stress

A slew of new research during the past few years shows that marital stress can play a significant role in a person's overall health -- increasing risk for everything from chronic pain to a heart attack. A low-stress marriage can even increase survival chances when a health problem strikes.

While it's long been known that people who are married tend to be healthier and live longer than unmarried people, scientists are increasingly turning their attention to whether the quality of the marriage matters. Some of the resulting studies have shown that the risk of a bad marriage is as strong as other medical risks. Among patients who suffered congestive heart failure, those with good marriages were more likely to survive. One study linked marital distress to dangerous thickening of the heart wall, just like smoking.

And while we've long known that stress is a major risk factor for many health problems, marital stress appears to be a bigger hazard than other types of stress simply because it's so personal.

"You can't escape marital stress the way you can other types of stress," says Annmarie Cano, assistant psychology professor at Wayne State University in Detroit and author of a January study on the links between chronic pain and marriage stress. "Most people think of marriage as a comfort zone and a place where you can relax, but when that is stressed, there is no safe haven."

The problem is, many people aren't aware how much their marriage is affecting stress levels. Studies have shown that arguments in couples who have been married for decades can increase stress hormones that weaken the immune system. Research has linked stress hormones with a number of health problems, making a person more susceptible to illness, slowing wound-healing and even interfering with the effectiveness of a vaccine.

The most surprising research has focused on a group of newlyweds, who, by all accounts, seemed happy, even "blissful" in their relationships. But Ohio State University researchers asked the 90 couples to answer questions about their marriage, videotaped them discussing a stressful topic and took blood samples to measure hormones known to inhibit or enhance the immune system. The couples who appeared to become the most agitated and hostile in the videotapes were more likely to see increases in hormones that weaken the immune system. Levels of an immune-boosting hormone also dropped.

Years later, researchers found the couples who eventually divorced had shown significant elevation in three of four immune-weakening hormones. Because those changes were detected in newlyweds, the research shows that not only did the hormones predict divorce risk, but the study also showed that marital stress, long before it's obvious, can have a measurable impact on immune-system health.

The same researchers are now studying the role of marital stress on wound healing. The researchers are inflicting small pea-size blisters on the arms of each spouse, studying whether positive interaction with each other can lead to faster healing by lowering the stress hormone cortisol. Stress hormones can slow the delivery of compounds that start the healing process.

"Marriage stress is unique because it basically takes what should be your primary source of support and makes it your primary stress," says Professor Janice Kiecolt-Glaser of Ohio State.

This month, the Harvard Men's Health Watch newsletter examined the relationship between marital stress and heart health, highlighting a study of 72 patients who answered questions on the Dyadic Adjustment Scale, a widely used test used to assess marital stress.

The study showed that marital distress was linked with a thickening of the left ventricle of the heart, as seen on an echocardiogram, just like smoking and excessive drinking. But job stress didn't have the same effect.

How much you interact with your spouse in a good or bad marriage can also influence your health. The same study found that among people in unhappy marriages, those who spent less time with a spouse had lower blood pressure than those who had lots of contact. Among those in good marriages, people who spent a lot of time with their spouse had even lower blood pressure.

"You can measure the physiological effect of a stressful interpersonal relationship," says Harvard Professor Harvey B. Simon, editor of the newsletter.

Dr. Simon, an internist, says he spends a lot of time talking to patients about their personal lives and stress levels. He urges them to exercise, meditate, pursue hobbies and other activities that make them happy and seek personal or marriage counseling.

But while it's clear that a bad marriage can drastically increase stress, it's not yet known whether it's better, in terms of overall health, to try to improve a troubled relationship or to get a divorce -- which itself is an extremely stressful life event.

Even in good marriages, the way a couple interacts appears to affect health. A Yale study asked 305 couples married an average of 43 years to name their confidante or greatest source of emotional support. Surprisingly, a couple in which a woman with children named her husband but the husband didn't name her was significantly more likely to be alive after six years than other couples, says Roni Beth Tower, now adjunct assistant professor at Teachers College, Columbia University. One reason may be that being needed, by either your children or your wife, is better for health than having someone to lean on.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/article_marital_stress.html

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The trouble with marriage.

Marriage: the new blue-light case of the week. Everyone is terribly worried about its condition: can it be cured? Or, has the time arrived for drastic measures - just putting it out of its misery?

Euthanasia is a dirty word but, frankly, the prognosis is not so great for this particular patient, a stalwart social institution is now scabby and infirm, gasping for each tortured breath.

Many who had once so optimistically pledged to uphold its vows are fleeing its purported satisfactions.

In the US, a well-publicised 50 per cent failure rate hardly makes for optimism. Certainly there are happy marriages - no one disputes that - and all those who are happily married can stop reading here.

And there is always serial monogamy for those who can't face up to the bad news - yes, keep on trying until you get it right, because the problem couldn't be the institution itself or its impossible expectations.

For these optimists the problem is that they have somehow either failed to find the "right person" or have been remiss in some other respect.

If only they'd put those socks in the laundry basket instead of leaving them on the floor, everything would have worked out. If only they'd cooked more (or less) often. If only they'd been more this, less that, it would have been fine.

And what of the growing segment of the population to whom the term "happily married" does not precisely apply, yet who nonetheless valiantly struggle to uphold the tenets of the marital enterprise, mostly because there seems to be no viable option?

A 1999 study reported that a mere 38 per cent of Americans who are married described themselves as actually happy in that state. This is rather shocking, so many pledging to live out their lives on earth in varying degrees of discontent or emotional stagnation because that is what's expected from us, or "for the sake of the children", or because wanting more than that makes you selfish and irresponsible. So goes the endless moralising and finger-pointing this subject tends to invite.

Is there any area of married life that is not criss-crossed by rules and strictures, from how you load the dishwasher to what to say at dinner parties?

Let us contemplate the everyday living conditions of this rather large percentage of the US population, this self-reportedly unhappily married majority, all those households submersed in low-level misery and soul-deadening tedium, early graves in all respects but the most forensic.

Regard those couples - we all know them, perhaps we are them - the bickering, the reek of unsatisfied desires and unmet needs, a populace downing anti-depressants, along with whatever other forms of creative self-medication are most easily at hand, from triple martinis to serial adultery.

Yes, we all know that domesticity has its advantages: companionship, shared housing costs, child-rearing convenience, reassuring predictability, occasional sex, and many other benefits too varied to list. But there are numerous disadvantages as well, though it is considered unseemly to enumerate them, most of which are so structured into the expectations of contemporary coupledom that they have come to seem utterly natural and inevitable. But are they?

Consider, for instance, the endless regulations and interdictions that provide the texture of domestic coupledom. Is there any area of married life that is not crisscrossed by rules and strictures about everything from how you load the dishwasher to what you can say at dinner parties, to what you do on your day off, to how you drive, along with what you eat, drink, wear, make jokes about, spend your discretionary income on?

What is it about marriage that turns nice-enough people into petty dictators and household tyrants, for whom criticising another person's habits or foibles becomes a conversational staple, the default setting of domestic communication?

Or whose favourite marital recreational activity is mate behaviour modification? Anyone can play - and everyone does. What is it about modern coupledom that makes policing another person's behaviour a synonym for intimacy? Or is it something about the conditions of modern life itself, is domesticity a venue for control because most of us have so little of it elsewhere?

Then there's the fundamental premise of monogamous marriage, that mutual desire can and will last throughout a lifetime. And if it doesn't? Apparently you're just supposed to give up on sex, since waning desire for your mate is never an adequate defence for "looking elsewhere".

At the same time, let's not forget how many booming businesses and new technologies have arisen to prop up sagging marital desire. Consider all the investment opportunities afforded: Viagra, couples pornography, therapy. If upholding monogamy in the absence of desire weren't a social dictate, how many enterprises would immediately fail? Could dead marriages be good for the economy?

And then there's the mantra of the failing relationship: "Good marriages take work!" When exactly did the rhetoric of the factory become the default language of coupledom? Is there really anyone to whom this is an attractive proposition, who, after spending all day on the job, wants to come home and work some more? Here's an interesting question: what's the gain to a society in promoting more work to an overworked population as a supposed solution to the travails of marital discontent?

What if luring people into conditions of emotional stagnation and deadened desires were actually functional for society? Consider the norms of modern marriage. Here is a social institution devoted to maximising submission and minimising freedom, habituating a populace to endless compliance with an infinite number of petty rules and interdictions in exchange for love and companionship.

Perhaps a citizenry schooled in renouncing desire - and whatever quantities of imagination and independence it comes partnered with - would in many respects be socially advantageous. Note that the conditions of marital stasis are remarkably convergent with those of a cowed workforce and a docile electorate.

And wouldn't the most elegant forms of social control be those that come packaged in the guise of individual needs and satisfactions, so wedded to the individual psyche that any contrary impulse registers as the anxiety of unlovability? Who needs a policeman on every corner when we're all so willing to police ourselves and those we love and call it upholding our vows?

In this respect, perhaps rising divorce rates are not such bad news. The British Office for National Statistics blames couples' high expectations for the rise in divorce. But are high expectations really such a bad thing? What if we all worked less and expected more - not only from our marriages or in private life, but in all senses, from our jobs, our politicians, our governments? What if wanting happiness and satisfaction, and changing the things that needed changing to attain it, wasn't regarded as "selfish" or "unrealistic", and do we expect so much from our mates these days because we get so little back everywhere else?

What if the real political question was what should we be able to expect from society and its institutions? And if other social contracts and vows beside marriage were also up for re-examination, what other ossified social institutions might be next on the hit list?

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articlekipnis.html

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School in Mexico Trains Girls to Be Good Wives

MEXICO CITY - Once a week after school, a group of girls from well-to-do Mexican families troops to a meticulously kept house in the south of the capital for a class in how to become the perfect wife.

Girls aged 13 to 18 sit eagerly through lessons in cooking, sewing, ironing, dressing, folding napkins, serving a formal dinner and adding feminine flourishes to a home, like a posy of flowers in the bathroom or initials embroidered on the towels.

Such skills, according to teacher Tota Topete, risk becoming a lost art as Mexico's young women join a global trend of focusing on careers rather than housekeeping.

"Now all women want to go out to work, but working an eight-hour day when one is a wife or a mother is just not possible," Topete, a vivacious and impeccably groomed 60-year-old, said after one of her evening classes.

"It means neglecting one's husband. He could start looking elsewhere for affection and that could mean divorce," she warned.

In Mexico, one in three women works outside the home, up from one in five in the 1970s and not including the millions working illegally as domestic helpers or selling street food.

As macho attitudes about women working and Catholic ideals on large families are eroded, women are also having fewer babies.

And yet for the millions of Mexican women eking out a living in grim city slums or dusty rural villages, running a household is more of a hard slog on a tight budget than an art.

In poor communities, girls are whisked out of school at age 10 or 11 to help around the house. They marry young and embark on a lifetime of cooking and cleaning, many also having to put up with philandering husbands.

QUEEN ELIZABETH IS STYLE ICON

But a world away, highlighted hair and trendy clothes labeling them as part of Mexico's small but disproportionately wealthy upper class, Topete's wide-eyed students fire off questions as they watch her mix a carrot cake batter.

"It's important to know all this before you get married. We don't learn it at school," says Jimena Ramirez, 17, who hopes to marry at age 24, once she's completed studies in marketing.

Meanwhile Topete, resplendent in pearls, satin blouse and scarlet apron, has whisked the class from kitchen to dining room for tips on how to serve up and clear away a dinner.

"You must never, ever scrape the plates in front of your guests -- and never pile the plates up with food squashed between them," she says, rolling her eyes with horror.

Her well-manicured disciples study from folders with sections on everything from etiquette and flower arranging to dress sense and color coordination. Students pore over color charts to decide which tones best suit their complexions.

A photograph of Britain's Queen Elizabeth is used as an example of a woman who wears enough jewelry to impress -- but never too much.

"If you are going to see a boy, go dressed in the color that suits you best. Brush your hair. Think earrings, think necklace. You must be well presented," Topete says.

"Not depilating your armpits or legs makes for a horrible sight. And if you wear sandals, please look after your feet."

Toward the end of the year-long course Topete broaches the subject of sex -- a major topic in separate classes she runs for married women whose relationships need sparkling up.

"Sex is a big problem today. The stress of living and working in a big city can inhibit libido," she said.

"I tell them they must do it -- and with passion, even if that means taking a siesta before their husband comes home."

CANDLE-LIT DINNERS

Topete is battling a trend in developed countries where women spending more time in the office than at home. Scare statistics abound showing skills like cooking and child-care dying out as working women relegate such tasks to maids and nannies.

Her quest echoes that of U.S. relationship guru Laura Schlessinger (news - web sites), whose best-selling book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" smacks of 1950's attitudes. In it she says many marital problems stem from selfish, overly demanding women who treat their husbands more like accessories than priorities.

In Mexico, a 2000 study found women are having two to three children on average, unlike past generations when the government encouraged sprawling families in a misguided bid to boost the economy.

Topete's students say while they want to continue their studies after school and find jobs, they also want to marry and have families. For that, they need domestic skills.

"My mother works. She doesn't have time to show me stuff like this -- but don't print that, she'll kill me," says one girl, as she endeavors to make invisible stitches during a sewing class.

Topete, married for 38 years, quips that a girl will never find a husband if she can't sew. Keeping him is another challenge, she says.

"There must be a balance between being an executive and being a wife," she said. "Prepare a candle-lit dinner and wear something nice. If you keep him happy, then he'll keep you happy."

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articlemexico.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/articlemexico.html

Marriage numbers in Canada decline by 6.8 per cent in one year.

After a brief millennium boom, the number of couples saying 'I do' declined sharply in 2001. According to a report from Statistics Canada, fewer Canadians than ever got married that year.

"A total of 146,618 couples tied the knot, down 6.8 per cent from 157,395 in 2000," the agency said in a statement accompanying the release of its Marriage, 2001 report on Thursday.

The numbers resume a downward trend in the number of marriages throughout the 1990s, bringing the agency's "crude marriage rate" to a record low of 4.7 marriages for every 1,000 people.

An upward blip in the marriage rate in 2000 to a five-year high of 5.1 was probably an anomaly, the agency said, "attributable to couples choosing to marry at the start of the new millennium."

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articlecanada.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/articlecanada.html

Ladies' Men: Great for Sex, But Not for Marriage

New research confirms what romance novelists have known for years: for brief affairs, women tend to prefer a dominating, powerful and promiscuous man.

However, when considering a long-term relationship, women are more likely to turn to a compassionate, sensitive and monogamous man, the report indicates.

When given descriptions of these two male archetypes, described by the researchers as "cads" and "dads," women consistently preferred a dad as a long-term partner. However, as the relationship shortened, women became more likely to opt for being with a cad.

In a telling example, 60% of women said they would prefer to have sex with one cad-like character, but only 13% said they would want him engaged to their daughters.

Despite the apparent appeal of cads to women, study author Dr. Daniel J. Kruger of the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor advised men against trying to adopt the "dark horse" persona.

Cads are often men in positions of power and leadership, such as the heads of companies or sports superstars, he said. Only a minority of men fall into that category, and being a dominant, highly successful and promiscuous man is hard to fake, he cautioned.

"Not every guy can be a successful cad," Kruger told Reuters Health. "You're not going to get a lot of matings by acting like a jerk."

During the study, reported in the journal Human Nature, Kruger and his colleagues asked 257 female undergraduate students to read passages from 17th and 18th century British literature describing characters that matched one of the two personality types. Around 70% of participants said they came from a non-Western European background.

In the passages, dad characters appeared domestic, peaceable, bookish, gentle and compassionate. In contrast, cads were portrayed as arrogant, moody, rebellious, strong and successful with beautiful women.

Women then answered a series of questions about which characters they would prefer in different situations, for instance, a sexual affair, a road trip, marriage, or a future son-in-law.

The researchers found that women tended to prefer accompanying dad characters on a three-week road trip, and more often chose dads to be spouses or son-in-laws. However, more women said they would want to have a sexual affair with a cad character than a dad.

In an interview, Kruger noted that women likely prefer to settle down with dad types because they will stick around and help them raise a family. "You can think of these guys as dads because they'll be around to be fathers and father figures," he said.

So why choose to have sex with a cad character, which could also produce a child? That trend may be explained by the "sexy son hypothesis," Kruger said, which proposes that, deep down, women may sometimes believe a son produced by the union with a cad will exhibit the same behaviors, eventually having sex with many women and producing many grandchildren.

The fact that 21st century women reacted this way to stereotypes established many years before suggests that the response to cads and dads has existed for a long time, Kruger noted.

"This shows us that this is something that is ingrained in us," he said.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articlesex.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/articlesex.html

Western bitches are panicking that men no longer want to support their fat nagging asses. (Jobless, single and male)

October 2, 2003

Increasing numbers of men in their prime have neither full-time jobs, wives nor children and pose a threat to society, a senior labour market economist says.

Professor Sue Richardson, of the National Institute of Labour Studies at Flinders University, said Australia was re-creating an underclass "of the excluded and the dangerous" not seen since the late 19th century.

"Back then, large numbers of men were excluded from secure jobs, never got to be fathers - at least officially - and were a menace to society."

Speaking at the Conference of Economists in Canberra yesterday, she said labour-market changes accounted for the rise of single or divorced men who were poor marriage prospects.

They were unemployed or reliant on part-time or casual work. Subsequently, many were forgoing fatherhood. She said 35 per cent of Australian men aged 35 to 44 in 2003 were not married and did not not have a full-time job. This compared with 20 per cent in 1978.

Half the men aged 25 to 34 had not done what men in that age group had traditionally done: found a full-time job, married and had children. In 1978, only 30 per cent were not on that path.

"This is an extraordinary decline," Professor Richardson said in an interview. "Men of prime parenting age who are married and employed full-time are a threatened species."

While lifestyle choice might be part of the story, Professor Richardson said, changes in the labour market had made it increasingly hard for "sizeable numbers" of men to find secure full-time jobs; particularly men with no post-school education who could not find full-time work after they lost jobs in the declining manufacturing sector.

The official jobless rate of 5.8 per cent failed to capture the full picture, as it counted as "employed" people who had worked as little an hour a week, Professor Richardson said.

In the 25 to 54 age bracket, full-time employment among men had fallen more than 10 percentage points since 1976. At least two men in every 10 in these key "family formation" years were not in full-time jobs.

"Some are unemployed, others are in part-time jobs and some are not in the workforce at all," Professor Richardson said.

"But whatever they are doing, they are scarcely in a position to become fathers, unless they can find a wife who can support the family."

Women were not stepping in to take on the breadwinning work vacated by men. The proportion of married women who worked full-time had hardly changed.

One consequence was that the fertility rate, at 1.7 children per woman, was the lowest on record.

While an "alarming" 18 per cent of children lived in a household with no employed parent, the growth was in sole-mother families, not couple families.Jobless men, it seemed, had chosen to forgo fatherhood.

Australia's answer to labour-market changes had been to offer men unemployment benefits. "We ought to be offering them full-time jobs," Professor Richardson said.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articleaustralia1.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/articleaustralia1.html

Mother's job becoming solitary one

October 4, 2003

More women are having children alone, unable to find men willing to commit to marriage or the cost of setting up a household, a study has found.

The proportion of single mothers aged 30 to 34 who fell into this category jumped from 17 per cent of female lone parents in 1986 to 42 per cent in 2001, according to the study, released today.

Among younger women aged 25 to 29 who were sole parents, the number was even greater, increasing from 37 per cent to 66 per cent over the same period. The author of the Monash University research, Dr Bob Birrell, said this group of single women heralded a new social phenomenon.

It also raised concerns about the financial and emotional hardships for the women and children involved.

"It is not the case that these women are unwilling to get married - they would probably quite like to marry," Dr Birrell said. "But the marriage market they're operating in contains men who lack the resources to take on the creation of a new household, men who are unwilling to get married or live in a de facto relationship."

The growing trend of unpartnered women having children is backed by preliminary findings from another study by the Monash team of all exnuptial births in Victoria in 2001.

It found that when unmarried new mothers in hospital were asked if they had a de facto partner, almost half said they did not.

Dr Birrell said the rapid increase in the number of mothers who had never married and were not in de facto relationships had become a major concern for society because most depended on welfare payments to survive.

"They have much greater difficulties providing for their children because there is little prospect of financial help from the fathers, who tend to be on low incomes and who pay little or no maintenance," he said.

The study from Monash's Centre for Population and Urban Research, which used census data, will be released at the Australian Family Association's national conference in Adelaide today.

It follows comments from a senior labour market economist earlier this week who said increasing numbers of prime-aged men had become poor marriage prospects because of labour-market changes.

Professor Sue Richardson, of Flinders University, told a conference that 35 per cent of Australian men aged 35 to 44 were unmarried and unemployed, compared with 20 per cent in 1978.

Professor Richardson said many of these men were shunning marriage or fatherhood because of poor incomes and job prospects.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articleaustralia2.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/articleaustralia2.html

We’re Not In the Mood

For married couples with kids and busy jobs, sex just isn’t what it used to be. How stress causes strife in the bedroom—and beyond

June 30 issue — For Maddie Weinreich, sex had always been a joy. It helped her recharge her batteries and reconnect with her husband, Roger. But teaching yoga, raising two kids and starting up a business—not to mention cooking, cleaning and renovating the house—left her exhausted. She often went to bed before her husband, and was asleep by the time he joined her. Their once steamy love life slowly cooled. When Roger wanted to have sex, she would say she was too beat. He tried to be romantic; to set the mood he’d light a candle in their bedroom. “I would see it and say, ‘Oh, God, not that candle’,” Maddie recalls. “It was just the feeling that I had to give something I didn’t have.”

LATELY, IT SEEMS, we’re just not in the mood. We’re overworked, anxious about the economy—and we have to drive our kids to way too many T-Ball games. Or maybe it’s all those libido-dimming antidepressants we’re taking. We resent spouses who never pick up the groceries or their dirty socks. And if we actually find we have 20 minutes at the end of the day—after bath time and story time and juice-box time and e-mail time—who wouldn’t rather zone out to Leno than have sex? Sure, passion ebbs and flows in even the healthiest of relationships, but judging from the conversation of the young moms at the next table at Starbucks, it sounds like we’re in the midst of a long dry spell.

It’s difficult to say exactly how many of the 113 million married Americans are too exhausted or too grumpy to get it on, but some psychologists estimate that 15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which is how the experts define sexless marriage. And even couples who don’t meet that definition still feel like they’re not having sex as often as they used to. Despite the stereotype that women are more likely to dodge sex, it’s often the men who decline. The number of sexless marriages is “a grossly underreported statistic,” says therapist Michele Weiner Davis, author of “The Sex-Starved Marriage.”

If so, the problem must be huge, given how much we already hear about it. Books like “The Sex-Starved Marriage,” “Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages” and “Resurrecting Sex” have become talk-show fodder. Dr. Phil has weighed in on the crisis; his Web site proclaims “the epidemic is undeniable.” Avlimil, an herbal concoction that promises to help women put sex back into sexless marriage, had sales of 200,000 packages in January, its first month on the market. The company says it’s swamped with as many as 3,000 calls a day from women who are desperately seeking desire. Not that the problem is confined to New Agers: former U.S. Labor secretary Robert Reich jokes about the pressure couples are under in speeches he gives on overworked Americans. Have you heard of DINS? he asks his audience. It stands for dual income, no sex.

Marriage counselors can’t tell you how much sex you should be having, but most agree that you should be having some. Sex is only a small part of a good union, but happy marriages usually include it. Frequency of sex may be a measure of a marriage’s long-term health; if it suddenly starts to decline, it can be a leading indicator of deeper problems, just like “those delicate green frogs that let us know when we’re destroying the environment,” says psychologist John Gottman, who runs the Family Research Lab (dubbed the Love Lab) at the University of Washington. Marriage pros say intimacy is often the glue that holds a couple together over time. If either member of a couple is miserable with the amount of sex in a marriage, it can cause devastating problems—and, in some cases, divorce. It can affect moods and spill over into all aspects of life—relationships with other family members, even performance in the office.

Best-selling novels and prime-time sit—coms only reinforce the idea that we’re not having sex. In the opening pages of Allison Pearson’s portrait of a frazzled working mom, “I Don’t Know How She Does It,” the novel’s heroine, Kate Reddy, carefully brushes each of her molars 20 times. She’s not fighting cavities. She’s stalling in the hopes that her husband will fall asleep and won’t try to have sex with her. (That way, she can skip a shower the next morning.) And what would Ray Romano joke about on his hit series “Everybody Loves Raymond” if he didn’t have to wheedle sex out of his TV wife? Romano, who has four kids, including 10-year-old twins, says his comedy is inspired by real life. “After kids, everything changes,” he told NEWSWEEK. “We’re having sex about every three months. If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it’s oral sex, I know it’s time to renew my driver’s license.”

Yet some couples seem to accept that sexless marriage is as much a part of modern life as traffic and e-mail. It’s a given for Ann, a 39-year-old lawyer with two kids who lives in Brooklyn. When she and her husband were first married, they had sex almost every day. Now their 5-year-old daughter comes into their bedroom every night. Pretty soon, the dog starts whining to get on the bed, too. “At 3 or 4 a.m., I kick my husband out for snoring and he ends up sleeping in my daughter’s princess twin bed with the Tinkerbell night light blinking in his face,” she says. “So how are we supposed to have sex?”

The statistical evidence would seem to show everything is fine. Married couples say they have sex 68.5 times a year, or slightly more than once a week, according to a 2002 study by the highly respected National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, and the NORC numbers haven’t changed much over the past 10 years. At least according to what people tell researchers, DINS are most likely an urban myth: working women appear to have sex just as often as their stay-at-home counterparts. And for what it’s worth, married people have 6.9 more sexual encounters a year than people who have never been married. After all, you can’t underestimate the value of having an (occasionally) willing partner conveniently located in bed next to you.

But any efforts to quantify our love lives must be taken with a shaker of salt. The problem, not surprisingly, is that people aren’t very candid about how often they have sex. Who wants to sound like a loser when he’s trying to make a contribution to social science? When pressed, nearly everyone defaults to a respectable “once or twice a week,” a benchmark that probably seeped into our collective consciousness with the 1953 Kinsey Report, a study that’s considered flawed because of its unrepresentative, volunteer sample.

“As a result, we have no idea what’s ‘normal’,” says Pepper Schwartz, a sociologist and author of “Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong.” Her best guess: three times a week during the first year of marriage, much less over time. When people believe they have permission to complain, she says, they often admit to having sex less than once a month: “And these are couples who like each other!”

In fact, the problem may be just as much perception as reality. Because we have the 100-times-a-year myth in our minds, and because there are so many movies and TV shows out there with characters who frequently have better-than-you-get sex, it’s easy to think that everybody else is having more fun. Forget the four hotties on HBO’s “Sex and the City.” Even Ruth Fisher, the frumpy, middle-aged widow on the network’s “Six Feet Under,” gets lucky week after week. Armed with birth-control pills and dog-eared copies of “The Sensuous Woman,” boomers were the front line of the sexual revolution. They practically invented guilt-free, premarital sex, and they know what they’re missing better than any previous generation in history. “Boomers are the first generation to imagine that they can have exciting monogamous sex through old age,” says Marty Klein, a marriage and sex therapist in Palo Alto, Calif. “The collision between that expectation and reality is pretty upsetting for most people.”

And sexlessness has a long and rich tradition. In Aristophanes’ bawdy play “Lysistrata,” written in 411 B.C., Spartan and Athenian women agree to withhold sex from their husbands until the two warring city-states make peace. Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway was in a sexless marriage; it’s likely Dorothea Brooke and Edward Casaubon, characters in George Eliot’s “Middlemarch,” were, too. And what about the “frigid” housewives of the 1950s?

Marriage experts say there’s no single reason we’re suddenly so unhappy with our sex lives. Many of us are depressed; last year Americans filled more than 200 million prescriptions for antidepressants. The sexual landscape may have been transformed in the last 40 years by birth control, legalized abortion and a better understanding of women’s sexuality. But women have changed, too. Since they surged into the workplace in the 1970s, their economic power has grown steadily. Women now make up 47 percent of the work force; they’re awarded 57 percent of all bachelor’s degrees. About 30 percent of working women now earn more than their husbands.

Like never before, women have the financial clout to leave their husbands if they choose. In his new book, “Mismatch: The Growing Gulf Between Women and Men,” sociologist Andrew Hacker says women are less and less inclined to stay married when they’re not emotionally satisfied. Wives say they were the driving force in 56.2 percent of divorces, according to Hacker, while men say they were the ones who wanted out only 23.3 percent of the time. When women have those kinds of choices, marital “duties” become options and the debate over how much, or how little, sex to have is fundamentally altered.

Meanwhile, families have changed. The year after the first child is born has always been a hazardous time for marriages—more divorces happen during those sleepless months than at any other time in a marriage, except for the very first year. But some researchers say parents are now obsessed with their children in a way that can be unhealthy. Kids used to go to dance class or take piano lessons once a week; now parents organize an array of activities—French classes, cello lessons and three different sports—that would make an air-traffic controller dizzy. And do you remember being a child at a restaurant with your parents and having every adult at the table focus on your happiness? No? That’s probably because you weren’t taken along.

Working parents who wish they could spend more time with their kids often compensate by dragging their brood everywhere with them. That means couples are sacrificing sleep and companionship. Parents of infants sometimes stop thinking of themselves as sexual beings altogether. Gottman recalls treating a couple with a 4-month-old; the wife was nursing. One morning the husband reached over and caressed his wife’s breast. The woman sat bolt upright in bed and said, “Those are for Jonathan.” “They laugh about it now,” Gottman says. “But you can understand why a guy might withdraw in that kind of situation.”

There’s another theme winding through popular culture and private conversations. Because let’s face it: no one is really too tired to have sex. Arguing over whether you should have sex can easily take longer than the act itself. For many couples, consciously or not, sex has become a weapon. A lot of women out there are mad. Working mothers, stay-at-home moms, even women without kids. They’re mad that their husband couldn’t find the babysitter’s home number if his life depended on it. Mad that he would never think to pick up diapers or milk on his way home. Mad that he doesn’t have to sing all the verses of “The Wheels on the Bus” while trying to blow-dry his hair. Those of us who were weaned on “Fear of Flying” or “Our Bodies, Ourselves” understand that we’re responsible for our own orgasms. But then couldn’t somebody else take responsibility for the laundry once in a while?

Researchers say women have some legitimate gripes. Most two-income couples without children divide up the household chores pretty evenly. After the kids come, however, men may be happy to play with Junior, but they actually do less around the house. Men’s contributions to household chores increased dramatically in the ’70s and ’80s, but haven’t changed much since then, according to Andrew Cherlin, a sociologist at Johns Hopkins. And it isn’t just that Dad isn’t doing the dishes. Researchers say many new fathers—55 percent—actually start spending more time at work after a child is born. Experts can only speculate on why: fathers may suddenly take their role as breadwinner more seriously. Others may feel slighted by how much attention their wives lavish on the new baby.

But men are mad, too. “The big loser between job, kids and the dogs is me,” says Alex, a 35-year-old financial executive from Manhattan. “I need more sex, but that’s not the whole story. I want more time alone with my wife and I want more attention.” They may not be perfect, but most husbands today do far more around the house than their fathers would have ever dreamed of doing. They’re also more involved than ever in their children’s lives. And they want points for it, points they’re not getting.

Experts say very few women openly withhold sex. More often, lingering resentments slowly drive a wedge between partners. After two kids and 10 years of marriage, Bill, an actor in his 50s, loves his wife, Laurie (not their real names), though he’d like to have sex more often than the once or twice a month they average now. Laurie, a graphic designer in her 40s, agreed to hire a babysitter and make a standing Saturday-night date. But when Saturday rolled around, she was too tired to go out. They missed the next week’s appointment, too. She’s tired, she says, but resentful, too. “I get angry because he doesn’t help around the house enough or with the kids. He sees the groceries sit-ting on the counter. Why doesn’t he take them out of the bag and put them away? How can I get sexy when I’m ticked off all the time?”

Advice on how to stay connected, however, varies widely. Traditionally, marriage counselors have focused on bridging emotional gaps between husbands and wives, with the idea that better sex flows out of better communication. More important than a fancy meal at a restaurant (where you can still have a rip-roaring fight, of course) is to just make time to sit down and talk. The Weinreichs managed to rekindle romance after their sons, now 18 and 21, got a little older. All it really took, Maddie says, was being more committed to intimacy.

But a new breed of marriage therapists take a more action-oriented approach. Regena Thomashauer, a relationship counselor and author of “Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men,” agrees that scheduling time together is essential. Use the time to have sex, she urges. Michele and Marcelo Sandoval, 40 and 42, respectively, sought help from Thomashauer when they were expecting their first child; now they make two “dates” a week. “We call them dates,” says Marcelo, “but we know it means sex, and we make it a priority.”

Author Weiner Davis has a similar strategy: just do it. Don’t wait until you’re in the mood. And view thoughtful gestures, such as letting your spouse sleep in, as foreplay. Chris Paterson, 31, and his wife, Tara, 29, say Weiner Davis has helped them. Early in their marriage, they had sex nearly every night. But after she gave birth to their first child, Tara lost interest.

Their nightly sessions became infrequent events. In addition to raising the kids, now 6 and 2, both Tara and Chris run their own businesses—she has a Web site called justformom.com and he’s a general contractor. Tara says she’s just exhausted. Chris also shoulders part of the blame. “I haven’t always been the most romantic, getting-her-in-the-mood kind of individual,” he says. Since talking to Weiner Davis and reading her book, Chris and Tara say they now have sex almost once a week, when they “try really hard.”

Most therapists do agree on one thing. You can’t force a sexy situation. There’s nothing wrong with dressing up like a cowgirl or answering the front door in “black mesh stockings, and an apron—that’s all,” a la Marabel Morgan’s 1973 classic, “Total Woman.” But if it feels silly, it won’t work. Rosemary Breslin, 45, a writer and filmmaker in New York, says she still has a great relationship with her husband, Tony Dunne. “But one of the things I ask him is, ‘Are we going to have sex in 2003 or are we shelving it to 2004?’ I asked him what he would do if I put on a black negligee, and he said he would laugh.” Maybe she should persuade him to help out a little more around the house. After all, we know there’s nothing sexier these days than a man who takes out the trash without being asked.

Source: http://www.nomarriage.com/articlesexless.html

http://www.nomarriage.com/articlesexless.html

Asia: heaven for men, hell for women

2003/10/04

It's a dream job - a high-level position in Bangkok with an interesting company and an expatriate's salary. A beautiful, company-subsidised apartment that takes up one floor of a luxury building. A maid, a car and a driver on call 24 hours a day.

But for Julie Sleva, a Canadian citizen who is an executive with French cosmetics firm L'Oreal, the dream becomes hollow when she leaves her office. Although young and attractive, Sleva lives the often lonely life of a Western female expat professional in a culture where men rule - a life with no serious relationships and few dates. "Outside of the office, it's tough," thirtysomething Sleva says.

For single Western men, Asia can be a paradise of exotic, beautiful women more than willing to pamper them and inflate their egos. The perks of an expat life - cheap maids, company-paid drivers and members-only clubs - relieve married couples of many of life's daily hassles, including the chores of child-rearing.

But for single Western caucasian women like Sleva, it's a different story. Accomplishments in the office are often overshadowed by solitary private lives, and even the most casual Saturday night date with a man is a distant memory. Many such women feel their chances of having relationships are negligible while they are in Asia.

For Sleva, whose marriage to a Canadian man ended seven years ago, it is a constant frustration. Although she's happy to date both Thai men and foreigners, she says "you never see Thai men with expat women, and expat men are either married, gay or have a young Thai girl hanging on to their arm. You sit in a car near Soi Nana [a popular night-time entertainment district] and you can't believe what walks out of that place - the ugliest, grossest men with beautiful Thai women. It's so easy for the Western man."

Sleva's experience is far from unusual. Many other expatriate women I meet agree with her.

Yet the subject is taboo. Beyond the fact that it is a deeply personal, often painful element of life for women such as Sleva, discussing it opens up a minefield of sexual and racial stereotypes.

In many cases, the stereotypes are accurate, but not always. Some Western men in Asia meet and marry smart or high-powered Asian women - or overseas-born Asian women who are far more interested in succeeding in their careers than in indulging their husband's every whim.

Some Western women are happy to be out of the dating game and in a world where they - like their workaholic male counterparts - can devote themselves to climbing the corporate ladder with more visibility than they might enjoy in the United States or Europe.

The difficulties of many single white women in Asia are so widespread that counsellors are dealing with it every day.

"It takes a toll," says Melanie Bryan, a psychologist in Hong Kong. Bryan's client base is telling: half of them are are single Western women.

"People don't get a sense of self-worth from just one part of their lives," she notes. "Because a woman is a professional doesn't mean she lacks aspirations for a relationship as well, and quite often these aspirations have to be put on hold. I see women drink more. I definitely see them depressed. I had a new patient the other day who was just hammering away at herself. She felt washed-up at the age of 36."

Many of the women who agree with such views are willing to tell their stories only if their names aren't attached. Two women I meet, who have had various Asian postings for United Nations agencies, described their dual lives - great accomplishment and loneliness.

One of them, a US citizen, has given up hoping for a relationship or children, but the rewards of her work over more than a decade in Asia have made the sacrifices worthwhile. She wants to use her name, but says "this wouldn't go over well with the UN".

Another woman, an American who has worked in Asia for a consumer-products company for four years, says it didn't take her long to learn what awaited her. "Before they transferred me, my company sent me to Asia for a look-see," she says. "On the plane coming back I met a woman leaving Asia after eight years. After a few Jack Daniels, she told me, 'Honey, Asia is single-man heaven and single-woman hell'."

Forget dating, she says. "Most Western men are married, and if they're not married, they're playing around big time. And I don't look anything like those sweet little Thai women."

The loneliness is compounded by a lack of understanding in others. "Why do you not have a husband?" is a question taxi drivers, maids, shop assistants and even the most casual Asian acquaintances don't hesitate to throw at single women both Western and Asian.

"It certainly is difficult for a single Western career woman anywhere in Asia to have a fulfilling life," says David Bailey, a counsellor in Bangkok with Psychological Services International. "Most companies don't adequately prepare their executives for living overseas, and they assume they have their personal lives sorted out."

The contrast between the lives of single expat men and women in Asia is illustrated by Sleva's friend and co-executive, Martin Mirmand, who manages L'Oreal's luxury division. Like Sleva, Mirmand is young and attractive. But there the similarity ends. Mirmand, a 32-year-old Frenchman, says his expat existence is "very easy from a lifestyle point of view - the comforts of living, the opportunities to do things after work." "It's very easy to be a man in Thailand, that is for sure," he says.

By contrast, except for nights when she has a work function, Sleva's evenings are spent far removed from bars and nightclubs. She often stays home and eats a spicy Thai salad prepared by her maid.

Marisa Vidaurre, director of St John's Cathedral Counselling Services in Hong Kong, says Sleva's story is typical. "What they relate to me is that expat men are not interested in women who are going to be challenging," she says. "A lot more Asian women culturally find it easier to make men feel better about everything they do. It's hard for a man to resist when every word out of your mouth is a pearl of wisdom and every joke is funny."

So why don't these lonely women return to the West?

"Your career track can be quite rewarding in Asia," says Vidaurre. "When you go back, you are one among the many. It's harder to do special things."

Despite her loneliness, Sleva won't consider asking for a transfer back to Canada or the US. She still wants her satisfying job and to immerse herself in a new culture.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articleasia.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/articleasia.html

Single, white and looking

THEY are spoiling the market.

So concludes an American friend about Asian women dating Caucasian men.

And this said to me, an Asian who is dating a Caucasian man.

It was hard to miss the irony, but then came her quick clarification.

'I mean the Party Girls,' she says.

Ah, yes, the infamous Sarong Party Girls - boon to Caucasian men who want to sow their wild oats in Asia, and bane to single, white females who find themselves in the midst of the ang mo's Asian playground.

My friend, let's call her Sandy, is smart, svelte, sexy and intelligent.

But, she says, it is impossible to score a decent date in Singapore because her male Caucasian counterparts are busy having their Asian fetishes serviced.

'After all the gushing and fawning by the SPGs, the guys can't deal with anything less,' she laments.

'Their egos are so inflated, they think every girl is dying to rub up against them. And these are guys who probably wouldn't even get a second look back home, sometimes not even a first look.'

I was more surprised at her complaints than I was at being made to feel like a market-spoiling SPG, however briefly.

I thought that Asia being a white man's playground was old news. And I thought everyone was done slamming SPGs.

She wasn't.

'When I got here a year ago, I was really surprised. I thought Singapore, where the women are better educated, would be more like other places I had been, like Australia, New York or Vancouver,' she continues.

'I didn't think it was like Bangkok or Jakarta.'

As a disclaimer, she adds that she is more than open to dating Asian men, though she says they seem to write her off, too.

So, SPGs are back on the hate radar - at least for lonely Sandy.

In fact, her tirade had not ended.

She recounts how an American guy recently told her that he didn't date white women because they require 'too much energy'. He would have to think about what he says and does.

'Right now, he doesn't have to try very hard. He'll have someone else tomorrow. SPGs don't even care what a man looks like, as long as he's white,' she concludes.

UNTIL fairly recently, there weren't that many single Caucasian career women in Singapore, or in Asia for that matter.

More seem to have come, mainly with hopes of fast-tracking their careers, though it doesn't appear to be doing likewise for their private lives.

The topic was dealt with last month in an Asian Wall Street Journal article by Stan Sesser.

In it, he quoted executive Julia Sleva, a 30-something Canadian living in Bangkok.

Apparently, Ms Sleva's on the career superhighway, but her love life moves slower than peak-hour Bangkok traffic.

Most Caucasian men in Bangkok are either married, gay or have a young Thai hanging on their arm, while most Thai men don't date expat women, she complains.

Sesser adds: 'The difficulties of many single white women in Asia are so widespread that counsellors are dealing with it every day.'

It's apparently no different in Singapore.

One British female friend tells me: 'Many Caucasian men arrive as normal human beings and morph into total idiots after sleeping their way around the SPG hangouts.

'They can't go back home and find a woman because it would shatter their illusions of being a sex god.'

Another friend, an Australian, adds: 'Everywhere you look, a white guy is holding an Asian girl's hand. What's left for us?

'Worse yet, after they've had them, the guys want everything small and submissive, and no questions asked.'

WELL, at least it's a consolation that although I'm going out with a Caucasian, Sandy does not consider me an SPG.

I'm different, she says.

'You speak your mind and you are who you want to be; you don't just stand there and take everything,' she says.

Indeed.

I like to think I make my man - whatever colour of the rainbow he happens to be - put in as much energy into our relationship as he would have to with a Caucasian woman.

Perhaps it's because the relationship I'm in has nothing to do with me wanting to find an easy way out of Singapore, or him wanting to find an easy way into me.

Neither has it to do with the colour of our skins.

In fact, I'm surprised that the single, white female doesn't see us - this new breed of Asian women dating white men - as a bigger threat than the fawning, you-are-a-white-god SPG.

Because, if we are both avoiding the same sort of men - those who go through SPGs faster than you can say sarong - then aren't we potentially fighting for the same segment of men left?

That is, white men who don't believe in the 'Asian and therefore easy' myth? White men who - gasp! - go out with a woman because of her character, brains and his interest in her culture?

Whatever the case, I suggest to Sandy that she just ignore the SPGs and their white men.

But she insists that it's not possible, given how SPGs have forced down standards across the board. They give in to their partner's obsessions so easily, the men take women for granted, SPG or otherwise.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/articleasia1.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/articleasia1.html

NoMarriage.com Marriage Contract

This is an absolutely brilliant legal document. It's not a joke and it's not made up; it's a real document, that a real man worked hard to put together. And he needs to be congratulated on finally creating a marriage contract that covers many important aspects of marriage.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/marriage_contract.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/marriage_contract.html

Real meaning of words in women's personal ads.

* Strong woman - Bitch with a severe case of self entitlement.

* Classy - Bitchy 45 year old real estate agent type.

* Seeking gentleman - Looking for rich guy who isn't interested in sex.

* World traveler - would love to go to Europe as long as you're buying.

* Intelligent - She isn't but thinks she is, and you'd better entertain her.

* Rubenesque - Fat

* Sarcastic - Bought into the whole Gen X irony thing and is really a miserable bore to hang out with.

* Make me laugh - You're expected to be highly entertaining right away.

* Sick of bar scene - She doesn't get hit on at bars due to one or more physical flaws.

* Friends first - Reformed slut

* Tired of games/jerks - I fucked and sucked my way through fifteen counties, but now I want a docile schmuck to pay my bills and not pester me for sex.

* Shapely - Fat

* BBW - Grossly, morbidly obese (Bring Burgers With)

* Must like kids - I want a putz who will break his ass paying for another man's cast off progeny.

* Loves the Outdoors - Closet Lesbo

* Snuggling and Warm Fires - No Sex

* Enjoys Traveling - You're paying, right?

* Fun Loving - Fucked 100 guys

* Meaningful Relationship - Slavery

* Nurturing - Smothering

* Sassy - Insufferable by the third date.

* Bubbly - All fuckin happy all the damn time to the point of annoying.

* No games! - I won't put up with your games, but I will gladly infuriate you with mine.

* Eccentric or quirky - Psycho...

* Grown up man - Sucker willing to marry and support my lazy fat ass.

* Financially Secure - You should own about 200,000 shares of MSFT.

Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/dangerwords.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/dangerwords.html

Translation of common phrases from woman-speak into English.

Woman-speak: "Of course I don't mind if you..."

English: "You bet your fucking arse I DO mind. Go ahead, you WILL pay later..."

Woman-speak: "Do you like it?"

English: "Fucker, if you do NOT notice my new hairstyle/shoes/mail order catalogue/wall paper/trashy little knicknack/ you are fucking DEAD!

Woman-speak: "You are an asshole"

English: "I will be fucking your brains out in 5 minutes"

Woman-speak: "Do you remember when you got me this?"

English: "I KNOW you don't remember, you cunt, I'm just enjoying seeing you sweat..."

Woman-speak: I don't love you any more.

English: You are broke, out of work, AND I'm fucking somebody else now...

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."

English: "I need to waste your time."

Woman-speak: "We need to talk."

English: "I need to cut your balls off and tell you for the 1,000th time how you do not live up to my standards and nag you eternally and try to change you because I am a shrewish cunt. This will undoubtedly give me a stress headache - you won't be getting any pussy tonight."

Women-speak: "I'm tired."

English: "I'm blaming you unfairly for my weight gain and my self-image problems, and you won't be getting any pussy tonight."

Woman-speak: "Let's just meet for coffee."

English: "You won't be getting any pussy tonight."

Woman-speak: "Oh, I don't care what we do."

English: "Even if you read my mind and figure out exactly what I want, the odds of you getting any pussy tonight are 115:1."

Woman-speak: "You like that football sweatshirt because you went to school there, right?"

English: "I tell all my friends you dress like a fucking slob and I'll be engaging in my manipulative 'you need to wear what I say is good or you won't get any pussy tonight' behavior soon."

Woman-speak: "Are you going to wear that shirt to the wedding?"

English: "I know these are the clothes I fell in love with you in, but now that I want to own you, they just won't do. Being the bossy cunt that I am, I need to re-do your entire wardrobe. I'll be too tired tonight from shopping to suck your dick for the next 15 years."

Woman-speak: "Do I look fat in this?"

English: " I need CREDIBLE reassurance that I am NOT a 350lb MacDonalds hog, with a sagging gut and dropping ass..."

Woman-speak: "I love you"

English: "You are quite a good fuck, and are solvent. My pussy is yours until something better comes along."

English (alternative): "I want something from you."

Woman-speak: "How thoughful of you!"

English: "Pussy whipped asshole, you are gonna have to do a LOT better than that to get some this year, let alone tonight. Suck up HARDER!"

Woman-speakS: Are you coming to bed now?

English: I'm going to tease you with sex to get you to drop whatever you're doing, come up stairs, and cuddle me, but you're still not getting any pussy.

Woman-speak: "You are not the man I married"

English: "In spite of years of manipulation, ridicule and doing my best to mind fuck you on a daily basis to change you into what I want, you have resisted me. Fuck you, no more sex, get out of my life..."

Woman-speak: "I do"

English: "No more blowjobs"

Woman-speak: "I can't find a good man to marry"

English: "I wasted my life focusing on my hate for men, and now I am fucked, the women's movement has destroyed my life"

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/translation.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/translation.html

NoMarriage.com excellence awards are given to men who excel at being non-pussified.

First 2006 noMarriage.com excellence award goes to Travis Frey.

Travis Frey is a 33yo married man who worked hard and put together a brilliant marriage contract. At the time of this writing he is being falsely accused of some nonsense like "trying to kidnap his own wife". Read his marriage contract here (a must read).

First 2005 noMarriage.com excellence award goes to Albanian men.

Second 2005 noMarriage.com excellence award goes to Constanta, Romania police department.

CONSTANTA, Romania, Aug. 5 -- Police at a Romanian beach resort want older women banned from topless sunbathing because tourists have been complaining.

"Going topless has its age limit, and old women going topless should understand this," Constanta Police Chief Victor Popescu is quoted as saying by the Web site, Ananova.

Police officers say they get a lot of complaints about women over 60 shucking their tops and they also find the sight ugly.

Officer Ionut Popescu said he likes spotting beautiful young women who have dropped their bras.

"But the irony is that there are more old women going topless. I find it sometimes quite repulsive," he said. "I can understand the idea of wanting to get a uniform tan, but old women should simply give up on it."

Third 2005 noMarriage.com excellence award goes to Welsh ex-miner Clive Worth.

A web dating agency has dumped a 55-year-old male subscriber after he indulged in a five-year debauch which resulted in 100 notches on his bedpost, UK tabloid the Daily Mirror reports.

Llanelli-based former miner Clive Worth arranged 119 dates via D...D...com - most of which ended in rumpy-pumpy. Sadly for Worth, the agency struck him from its books after receiving complaints about his "lack of commitment", even though he appears to suffer no lack of commitment to the cause of getting his end away.

Worth lamented: "I'm gutted about being kicked out. I've done nothing wrong. The agency said they received complaints because women were travelling to meet me and wanted commitment, but I didn't. But it's just that I haven't met the right woman yet."

Worth told the Mirror that he would not take the ban lying down, and pledged to join another agency and continue his tireless quest for Ms Right until he's 80.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/award.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/award.html

If you are a non-western man and you are thinking about marrying a western woman, read the article below very carefully.

Man prefers jail to wife's nagging

A man sentenced to nine months house arrest begged a judge to jail him instead because he couldn't stand his wife's nagging.

Algerian Ahmed S****, 24, was sentenced to a nine month curfew at home with his Italian wife in Ferrara, northern Italy.

But he went back to court after a week and begged the judge to jail him because he could not bear her nagging.

S**** was sentenced to nine months house arrest after breaching immigration regulations.

But he turned up at his local courtroom and begged to be taken into custody because he said he could no longer stand living with her, and would rather be behind bars, Corriere della Sera reported.

He said: "I need some peace."

A local court agreed to the S****'s request and he has been jailed for the rest of his sentence.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/marrying_western_women.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/marrying_western_women.html

30 things you'll never hear a woman say.

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick ass.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My ass is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/30things.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/30things.html

Remote control for women

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/remotecontrol.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/remotecontrol.html

Man selling collection of 26 Beanie Babies from ex-wife on Ebay

Let me begin by explaining some very important details, this way I do not get 100's of silly emails asking me to photograph the hind end of some stuffed animals. I DO NOT KNOW crap about these things. This belonged to my ex-wife who had about a 1000 of these Beanie Babies and when she moved, this one box of these got left behind, and now I am selling the goofy little things. Whatever money I make from them will be spent at the local Home Depot on tools and other cool stuff. I do not know which of these babies is retired or new, or whatever. I will list them in no particular order. I will tell you what its name is on the tag, if it has a plastic box or something. All these critter have been stored indoors, and are from a non-smoking home. Again, please do not send me emails asking me to photograp this or that. I am starting the auction at $10.00 and at that price I figure you all can take a chance. I understand from a friends wife that people are afraid to get fakes. FAKES? Fake plush toys? I was amazed. I thought people forged money, not childrens toys. Well I can only say, that 99% of these goofy toys were bought with my money, from eiter the local Hallmark Store, or one of the dozen or so Southern Craft/ collectibles stores I had to go to on a weekly basis buying these ridiculos toys years ago. Happy Bidding! Please take these critters from me so I can buy tools.

Final Notice and Disclaimer: I know nothing about these stuffed Beanie Babies. I offer no proof of anything. It is a stuffed animal, get over it! I don't think my ex-wife was in the Black Market Beanie Trade..but then again, I didn't know she was having an affair either! Thus no gauruntees! All have theior little Heart Shaped tags on their ears.

Ants - Armidillo

Almond - Bear

Knuckles - Pig

Humphrey - Camel

Tiptoe - Rat (I must have picked this one) Pig - Zodiac Pic (huh?)

Chipper- Chipmunk or Squirrel (Not Sure)

Neon - Sea Horse or Sea Serpent

Goatee- Goat

Prickles - Hedge Hog

Steg - Dinosaur (Stegasaurus I guess)

Manny - Mannatee

Paul - Walrus (Hey I get that joke..koo-koo-ka-choo)

Rabbit- Rabbit (Zodiac Critter)

Sheets - Ghost

Rainbow - Lizard (cameleon?)

Batty- Bat

Peanut - Elephant (comes in a plastic see-thru box)

Britannia - Bear with British Flag

Germania - Bear with German Flag

Eucalyptus - Koala Bear

Web - Spider (I must have picked all the ugly ones!)

Beak - Kiwi Bird?

Scaly - Komodo Dragon or other lizard..not sure!

Mystic - Unicorn

Nuts - Squirrel

(Not Pictured) Mickey Mouse in Hockey Uniform

ALL OF THEM HAVE THEIR LITTLE HEARTS TAG ON THE EARS!

A very kind Ebayer wrote me an email and said the following:

The valuable beanies here are Steg (dinosaur), Humphrey(camel), web (spider) and peanut (elephant). They are worth considerably more if they have the red heart hang tags and if the tags are in good shape - no creases or tears. If you wouldn't mind giving me more info on those. Also, if you added more info to the auction I'm sure you could get more $$ for your tools!

To answer her question: I looked and to the best of my looking at them all. None of the ones she mentioned have any torn tags or creased tags. In fact NONE of the little critters have messed up tags. People have been telling me these critters are worth alot of money. I know nothing about them, and told you everything you need to know up in the description. I make no claims on value, and to be honest. I am amazed anyine pays more then a dollar a piece for these things. What happened to collecting STAMPS? Pay what you want for them! IT ALL GOES TO HOMEDEPOT !!!!!! and BEER!

Okay all you people with nothing better to do! ENOUGH WITH THE EMAILS! I thought I was clear with all that. Here is an Email that I just got from some lady who felt she will try to save my soul or something!

Very clever listing; however it is very likely you have some fakes (counterfeits) among the listing and I suggest you pull them from the auctions until you have them authenticated. Humphrey the camel is an example. It is a requirement of eBay as well as under the provisions of the U.S. Criminal Cpode that a seller know the authenticity of a trademarked item s/he is selling. Also, an authenticated rare beanie will bring lots of money on the auctions. I'll let you know the others that are likely fakes, and further it is very unlikely your ex would have left behind these rare ones. If she had 1000 beanies, she knew what she had and their value. To sell counterfeits of a trademarked item wold make you a common criminal. Are you being honest? If so, cancel the auction, relist the common beanies, and send the rest for authentication. It would be well worth it financially and would make you honest. Taisha

WELL TAISHA! I don't CARE! I told everyone in the begining everything I know and don't know about these STUPID animals! I have an idea for all people that are so worried about this.....DON't BID! I dont care! I am so upset that this clown of a woman figured out my SUPER PLAN TO SCAM MILLIONS FROM THE UNKNOWING BEANIE WORLD! I FIGURED I WOULD RETIRE FROM THIS RUSE! What a dolt she is! I have blocked her from my bidder list, that way she can cry about it. Some people are UNREAL! GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/ebay.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/ebay.html

For Sale: One Slightly Used Size 12 Wedding Gown. Only worn twice: Once at the wedding and once for these pictures.

Make: Victoria

Style: 611

Size: 12

Divorce forces sale

I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, "That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it." So, this is what I’m doing. I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill. Luckily I only got stuck with his daughter for 5 years. Thank the Lord we didn't have kids. If they would have turned out like her or her family I would have slit my wrists. Anyway, it’s a really nice dress as you can see in the pictures. Personally, I think it looks like a $1200 shower curtain, but what do I know about this. We tried taking pictures of this lovely white garment but it didn’t look right on the hanger as you can see, so my sister says, "You need a model." Well, quite frankly my sister isn’t exactly small, (like a size 12 is?) so she wouldn’t pose for the picture. Seeing as I have sworn off women for the time being and I ain’t friends with any, it left me holding the bag. I took the liberty of blacking out my face - not to protect the ex-wife but to protect me from my bar buddies and co-workers finding out about it. I would never live it down. Actually I didn’t think my head would fit in the neck hole, but then I figured she got her Texas cheerleader hair through there I could get my head in it. Though, after looking at the pictures, I thought it made me look fat. How do you women wear this crap? I only had to walk 3 feet and I tripped twice. Don’t worry ladies - I am wearing clothes on underneath it. I gotta say it did make me feel very pretty. So if it can make me feel pretty, it can make you feel pretty, especially on the most important day of your life, right? Anyway, I was told to say it has a train and a veil and all kinds of shiny beady things. I think it's funny that one picture makes it look like the chest plate off an Imperial Storm Trooper. Did I mention that all I want is a ball game and beer? Cheap at twice the price. Ladies, you won’t regret this. You may regret the dude you marry but not the dress.

Just a little side note - As I was putting this ad in EBay, it asked me for a color. Is a wedding dress any other freaking color than white or ivory??!! If it is it wouldn't be a wedding dress, now would it?? I suppose black would work...

On Apr-26-04 at 10:38:31 PDT, seller added the following information:

Well, the auction is a little over half over and I am just amazed. This thing has taken more hits than that pothead that lives in the next building. Man, oh man, if hits were bucks I’d be getting a suite at Safeco.

I also have received TONS of email. I don’t have the time to reply to all of them but I just want to let everyone know that I appreciate the well wishes.

Of the email I received:

Five or so were invitations to ball games in other states. Two of those were for little league games. Do they have those cushy executive boxes with the free chicken wings at those?

One email was from Scotland. It’s a good thing he wrote it because I wouldn’t be able to understand a word he said. Never did get through Braveheart.

Most were thanking me for the laugh. You’re entirely welcome. Five years of misery was well worth the hearty guffaw that was my pleasure to give you.

Oh, yeah. I also got three marriage proposals. Yes, you read it right - three marriage proposals. I feel like one of those mass murderers on death row. I never understood how the hell they got more chicks than I did. Now I know. They sold crap on eBay.

On Apr-26-04 at 23:45:56 PDT, seller added the following information:

Holy Moly!

The hit counter is starting to look like the odometer in my truck! Not the new shiny black full-size 4-wheel-drive American pick-up that I had to part with, but the somewhat older, multicolored, lumpy, tiny, 2-wheel-drive foreign pick-up that belches smoke. A little something about that vehicle, though: it’s absolutely amazing! When I get inside it to go to the store, I am all depressed. But when I arrive at the store, I’m so freaking loopy from inhaling the fumes, I forget why I went there in the first place. I’m saving buckets of money. Of course, I will probably have to spend it all on the tuberculosis I will acquire, but hey, you can’t have everything.

I felt compelled to update this ad once more due to all of your emails. The first thing I have to say is thank you all for your support in my time of need. It was a truly harrowing experience. Some of you men know exactly what I mean.

Seeing as this has turned into my little public forum, I just want to address a few of the emails that kind of left me scratching my head.

I now have five marriage proposals. You would think my speaking of the ones I already got yesterday would have put a damper on it, but you women sure are persistent. One woman actually said she doesn’t want to marry me, but wouldn’t mind being my ex-wife. Hmmm. Let me think about that. Nope. No thanks, already got one. (Pssst. Didn’t I mention I had one? Who wants an ex-wife that can’t read? Now, I know what you guys are thinking - "If she can’t read, then the divorce would be smooth sailing." Well, that would be all well and good but I didn’t say her ATTORNEY couldn’t read. You following me on this?)

Other emails are serious buyers asking about the dress. "How long is the train?" and "Does the gown come with the headdress and veil?" Yes, headdress and veil are included, but the do-rag stays with me. And if the train was long enough for my ex’s caboose, it’s long enough for yours. You will have to supply your own baggage, though. I gave mine to Goodwill.

There was this one woman who wrote, "You should have covered your tattoos. People will be able to recognize you, like on America’s Most Wanted." HELLO!!! I’m a guy selling a dress. I’m not wanted for war crimes.

Some of your emails made me laugh. Like the bitter woman that wished she had her ex’s testicles to sell on eBay. I’m not too sure there’s a market for that, though. Then there was the guy that gave his wife’s wedding dress to the Salvation Army by mistake, thinking it was a Christmas tree. Guess he didn’t have any Christmas balls that year.

This has also been a learning experience for me. I got a lot of messages correcting me about the color of wedding dresses. For Russian Orthodox, they are blue. For Chinese they are red. Mexico has multi-colored ones. All I know is, for my next wedding I will be wearing a hairy, flesh-toned ensemble because I will be buck naked with a toe tag lying on a slab in the morgue because I would have killed myself.

A lot of folks were asking me if I wear women’s dresses a lot. I can honestly say that this is the first time I have ever donned female attire. It’s also the first time I’ve been inside something feminine that didn’t nag me to take out the garbage.

It seems a few people have taken offense to my inferring a size 12 is big. One male even pointed out that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14. Now, I would agree with you that size 12/14 is small if I lived elsewhere. But I live right here in the good old 48 Contiguous, where binging and purging is a way of life. American women do not want to be double digits in size. Just ask any woman what size they want to be. Invariably they will say five or seven. Wealthy will be the person that opens a store for Lane Bryant-sized women but sews size 7 tags on all the clothes.

On the flip side of that, I have taken offense to some of the people that told me I’m ugly and a loser. All I have to say is you’d be ugly too if you had a huge white blotch on your face. And as far as being a loser, I think you have it all wrong. I am such the winner. It isn’t every day an average guy can make 50,000 people laugh. Thanks to each and every one of you from the heart of my bottom.

Please only bid if you are serious. Or really, really hot.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/ebay_wedding_dress.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/ebay_wedding_dress.html

Famous quotes about women and marriage

1. "When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs."

Friedrich Nietzsche

2. "As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied."

Oscar Wilde

3. "Direct thought is not an attribute of feminity. In this, women are now centuries behind man."

Thomas Edison

4. "Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote."

Grover Cleveland, Former US President (1905)

5. "Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man."

Erica Jong

6. "Nature intended women to be our slaves. They are our property."

Napolean Bonaparte

7. "Women are nothing but machines for producing children."

Napolean Bonaparte

8. "An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

Agatha Christie

9. "Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one."

WC Fields

10. "My wife is the sort of woman who gives necrophillia a bad name."

Patrick Murray

11. "Women should be obscene and not heard."

Groucho Marx

12. "Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking."

Rupert Hughes

13. "Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing."

Sean Williamson

14. "Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'."

Jeffrey Bernard

15. "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."

Groucho Marx

16. "Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."

HL Mencken

17. "When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now'."

Leo Tolstoy

18. "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel."

Leonardo Di Vinci

19. "I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house."

Lewis Grizzard

20. "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

21. "The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men."

Aristotle

22. "I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife."

Tony Curtis

23. "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henry Youngman

24. "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late."

Max Kaufman

25. "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

Oscar Wilde

26. "Dammit sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure."

Oscar Wilde

27. "Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

George Burns

28. "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."

Groucho Marx

29. "When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."

Sacha Guitry

30. "The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead."

Ann Landers

31. "My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

Socrates

32. "My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."

Jimmy Durante

33. "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet."

Mae West

34. "It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."

Spike Milligan

35. "Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage."

Ambrose Bierce

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/famous.html

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/famous.html

NoMarriage.com Press Release

White American feminists engage in widespread racist hate speech.

Over the last few years there has been a disturbing trend of white American and Western European women engaging in widespread racist hate speech against non-white (or non-Arian-white) women from Latin America, Asia, and Eastern Europe.

White feminist women openly degrade foreign women by calling them "whores", "subservient", "submissive", "China dolls", etc; all because foreign women "dare" to date and marry American and Western European men.

White feminist women hate foreign women because they are viewed as "not western enough" and therefore not suitable to date and marry American and Western European men. Western feminists are particularly irritated that foreign women are less likely to be career oriented, and more likely to be interested in staying at home and raising children.

White feminist way of thinking is profoundly bigoted, racist, white-elitist, and insulting to all foreign women. It assumes that foreign women (who are usually not 100% white) are somehow less capable of forming a satisfactory marriage than white western women. It also assumes that foreign women do not know how to live their lives, and western women have to tell them how to do it.

Adolf Hitler in the 1930s wanted all Arian men to only marry and have children with Arian women. One wonders if modern feminist women embraced Arian supremacy as their new ideology.

www.noMarriage.com

Feel free to freely distribute this press release in any medium.

Courtesy: http://www.nomarriage.com/feminist_hate_speech.shtml

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.nomarriage.com/feminist_hate_speech.shtml

No Marriage

NoMarriage.com

Fourth Edition

Jon Hertzog

and/or print it out for yourself.

Please do not forward this book to your friends. Ask them to buy their

own copy by going to www.noMarriage.com. I spent a good part of the

last 5 years researching this book and I would like to continue

working on this project. I can only do that if I get paid for the

book.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or

by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without

prior written permission in writing from author of this book.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Ch 1 -Marriage statistics. “Modern Western Women”. 3

Ch 2 -Why marriages to American women fail 6

Ch 3 -Most American men get married for the "wrong" reasons 8

Ch 4 -Determine if YOU want children in the near future 9

Ch -You decided that you do NOT want children in the near future 11

Ch 6 -You decided that you want children in the next few years 12

Ch 7 -Travel to Latin America, Eastern Europe, 13

or Asia at least once a year

Ch 8 -Will your girlfriend make a good wife? 15

Ch 9 -My girlfriend will not make a good wife. Now what? 21

Ch -Suckers, Fuckers, and the truth about how 22

American women get married

Ch 11 -Why marriage to American woman no longer makes sense 25

Ch 12 -Do not get into relationship and marriage 26

discussions with American women

Ch 13 -The biggest costs in marriage are initiated by women 28

but have to be paid for by men

Ch 14 -Men's responsibility is an obsolete concept 30

Ch -Unmarried men will live longer and happier lives 31

Stress in married men’s lives

Ch 16 -Western women and their Psychological/Mental problems 34

Ch 17 -Are you better off living by yourself? 35

Ch 18 -"Monogamy is only due to a man's failure in business" 36

JP Getty

Ch 19 -Research shows that marriage makes men literally dumber 37

Ch -Financial planning for single men 38

Ch 21 – Living together with a girlfriend 40

Ch 22 – Things to do before you get married 41

Ch 23 -Frequently asked questions 42

Ch 24 -Marriage and relationship quotes 45

Ch – List of the best US Cities for single men 46

Ch 26 -Final thoughts 48

Chapter 1

Marriage statistics. “Modern Western Women”.

Thank you for buying No Marriage. Let me start by defining a concept of a “modern western woman”. A modern western woman typically either lives or moves to a big (usually coastal) city, stays single until her late 20s (sometimes until her mid 30s), then starts looking for a "suitable" husband. The main (pretty much the only) reason she is looking for a husband is because she wants children and a nice house, and she can not afford them by herself. Plus she is starting to think that working kind-of sucks and she is considering cutting down to part-time or stopping working altogether once she finds a husband. Most of the content in this book and nomarriage.com website is about

modern western women.

The very discouraging marriage statistics is that 4 out of 5 men regret marrying:

•

Divorce rate in America is now around 55%. (The main reason the divorce rate has not been increasing over the last 5-10 years is because less people get married in the first place.)

•

Majority of remaining married men are stuck in sexless marriages with nagging and bitching wives, but they choose not to divorce because they are afraid of being wiped out financially during

divorce.

You put the two together and at least 4 out of 5 married men (80%) either get divorced or trapped in miserable marriages.

Will you be one of the lucky 1 out of 5 men who is relatively happy with marriage? Not likely unless you and your future wife live your lives largely outside the mainstream American values and your wife is not a "modern western woman".

My research shows that the following groups of people make up the majority of the relatively happy marriages (the majority of that 20% of relatively happy marriages):

1. Very religious people.

A lot of people in the US consider themselves to be religious, and that's fine. But for the purpose of this book very religious people have to be defined as people who strictly follow (and I do mean follow, not just talk about it) some form of traditional/conservative ideology as it relates to men/women and marriage. Think of a typical "modern western woman" as defined above. Then think of a traditional young Mormon woman from a very strict family (I am only using Mormon as an example, it can be any

conservative religion). Now think about those two women as being on the opposite sides of the spectrum. Women I am talking about here are women on the traditional/conservative side of the spectrum.

2. People living in the rural South and rural Midwest. Women there tend to be a lot less materialistic, self-centered, anti-male, and mentally unstable. Men there also tend to be in charge of their lives and they don’t put up with any BS from women. Sometimes I get emails from men who are lucky enough to genially not understand what all the fuss is about. These men say that their wives are great, then they say they don’t spend much time with their wives and spend their free time hunting, riding a Harley,

doing things like that. If I ask them about their wives, it always turns out that their wives are closer to 50s housewives than to modern western women.

Perhaps a more accurate way to classify this group would be “people from mostly rural areas who marry early”. Not everyone in this group is in the South or Midwest. There are plenty of women like

that living 150 miles from Manhattan. And not all women who marry early are from the rural areas; but for the sake of simplicity I will lump them all under this umbrella.

What matters is that these women marry early and usually stay married unless something really serious goes wrong. They also marry for "love" or for idealistic reasons if you want to call it that.

Another way to look at it is that they choose their future husbands almost accidentally or randomly. They basically marry whoever happens to ask them on a date when they are 17-19yo, who seems nice

and treats them well. So whoever becomes their first or second serious boyfriend is likely to become their husband.

The conventional wisdom (at least the one that modern western women subscribe to) is that these types of marriages are not likely to work out. But in actuality they have a very reasonable chance of

working out quite well. The biggest potential risk with these marriages is that people may change a lot between they are 17-22 and 28-35 years old.

A man may end up with drinking/drugs problem and/or beating up his wife. Or he may just become lazy and complacent. A woman may become lazy, uninterested in anything, spending the whole day literally sitting on a couch eating ice cream and watching TV. A few years of sitting on a couch and she is 100 lbs overweight often with drugs/alcohol addiction. Some women in this group also evolve into

high-maintenance, demanding, and bitchy over time.

But a lot of these marriages work out well. If both parties continue treating each other well and continue putting some effort into their relationship and appearance, and if the woman does not

evolve into a high-maintenance bitch, then the marriage will probably work out fine. That's a lot of ifs, but at the end a reasonable percentage of these marriages turn out well, which is still a lot better than close to zero percent of good marriages with modern western women as the rest of the book will show.

3. People choosing to live a simple lifestyle. People practicing "simple living" live their lives largely outside the mainstream consumer society. There is a big difference between people choosing to live simple lifestyle and people who are "poor". People choosing simple lifestyle often live below their means and focus on what they consider "qualities of life" issues or other non-material issues that are important to them rather than on accumulation of material wealth.

The “simple living” people are a hard group to define because they come from different backgrounds. Some people in this group are aging hippies, environmentalists, Dean supporters types. Some are

more of survivalists, traditional conservatives, Pat Buchanan types. What they have in common regarding their marriages is that they are not trying to keep up with the Joneses so-to-speak, so they have a lot less financial pressures on their marriages.

Many men in the socialist/Dean supporters part of this group are also unfortunately complete pansies for the lack of a better word. Their wives are "strong feminists" and have complete control of

their relationship, but the men are not necessary unhappy with that, almost in a masochistic way. It's somewhat of a peculiar situation to say the least. But this group is slowly dying. Almost all young "liberal feminists" today end up becoming "modern western women" with a big SUV and all that.

The conservatives and survivalists in this group often overlap with rural and more religious people. Men in this group have a decent chance of having a good marriage if they find the right woman. At

least men in this group are very unlikely to end up with a modern western woman, so in a way they are lucky to avoid the most cancerous (and the largest by far) group of women without even trying.

4. Recent (mostly Hispanic) immigrants.

They were raised in more traditional cultures. You have to look outside the US (and the west) if you want a wife from this culture. There are not many single women immigrants in the US. Almost all

immigrants are single men or families. If you are a normal American guy living in a large metropolitan area marrying a normal college-educated American woman who is looking for the American dream (a nice house, kids, good life), then realistically you probably have over 95% chance of either getting divorced or trapped in a miserable marriage.

Chapter 2

Why marriages to American women fail.

The main reason marriages to American women fail is because American women have completely unrealistic expectations as to what they are going to get out of marriage. When they don't get everything they expect, they decide that men are not doing their jobs, and try to trade up.

Typical American woman is raised to be extremely spoiled and selfcentered. She is raised as a spoiled brat who has spent her entire life either being completely catered to, or otherwise having her every

whim and want fulfilled in the moment. Not bad, but not effective training in weathering problems that arise in every marriage.

When an American woman gets married and has children in her 30s, her life inevitably changes for the worse. She now has a lot more responsibilities and things to worry about. She is getting older and less attractive. She is getting bored with her marriage. American woman will always start resenting her "boring" married life and consequently resenting her "boring" husband.

Other important contributing factors to why marriages fail are women’s depression, psychological disorders, and Postpartum depression (devastating mood disorder many women get after giving birth). 80% of American mothers get at least "short term" form of Postpartum depression. Symptoms of Postpartum depression read like the list of things that are wrong with American women taken from my book and website -anxiety, sadness, despair, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, loss of interest in sex, difficulty concentrating, fatigue for no reason, becoming fat, recurrent thoughts of death or suicide,

etc... See www.nomarriage.com/postpartum_depression.html for more information.

Postpartum depression could be the main reason American women get bored with their marriages. The percentage of women having Postpartum depression is 80%, the same percentages of marriages where men either get divorced or trapped.

Depression is basically a big gray area in medical science. Definition of who is suffering from depression is subjective and arbitrary. I simply do not see how a woman can have the above symptoms for a few weeks after giving birth, and then become magically "normal" the following week when all the underlying reasons for her depression are still there and often get worse.

The reason American women get Postpartum depression is because a woman starts realizing that the baby comes with added stress, time commitments, responsibilities, financial responsibilities, etc... A

woman starts thinking that her previous care-free, responsibilityfree, and stress-free life is over forever. Raising children today is stressful, time-consuming, and costly the first few weeks, the first few months, the first few years, and the next 15+ years.

American women are always told that they are perpetual victims, and everything that is wrong with their lives is men's fault and never their own fault. It is no wonder American women start blaming their

husbands, and making their husbands feel like they are responsible for all the symptoms of her Postpartum depression. So American women transition from seemingly "nice" women to sexless nagging bitches and never look back.

Men go into a marriage with hardly any expectations: "I'm 33, too old to meet girls in bars every weekend, and nothing better is likely to come along. Besides, it will at least get Allison to stop dropping hints about a ring...." He may actually find that the occasional hot meal and regular affection is not so bad.

Women have ridiculously high expectations, dreams and plans: "First we'll have a baby, it will be just SOO kee-yut, I mean Steve would look so adorable as a daddy, then we'll have to buy a nice house

and an SUV for the baby, and I'll ask Steve to sell his motorcycle and stop hanging out with Sid, I mean Sid was probably a lot of fun in college, but he's a little strange and enough is enough..."

Which of the two, Steve or Allison, is being set up for disappointment?

Chapter 3

Most American men get married for the "wrong" reasons.

Children -the only right reason to get married.

The only "right" reason to get married is if you determined that YOU want to raise children in the near future and you need to find a woman who will make a good mother and wife. Very few men get married for the right reason. Most American men get married for the following 3 reasons, all of them wrong reasons:

1. Pressure from girlfriend to get married. By far the most common reason. After a couple of years of dating most women will start putting pressure on a guy to get married. Pressure

can range from open ultimatums (let's set up a wedding date or else I am leaving) to subtle hints and everything in between. A guy starts thinking that he'd better propose or she'll probably leave and he

eventually figures "what the hell, I am over 30 and she seems OK. Might as well get married". A guy does not really want to get married and does not want to have children at this time, but he goes ahead with both because his girlfriend is pressuring him.

2. Pressure from society, parents, etc... Society and parents still put a lot of pressure on men to get married, "settle down", and have children by 30 or so. Society pressure and girlfriend pressure often go hand-in-hand.

3. A woman gets pregnant, accidentally or maliciously. Men will often marry a woman after she "accidentally" gets pregnant, even though he does not really want to be married.

Here is how men usually get married:

1. Girl pressures guy for marriage.

2. Guy delays.

3. Girl gradually starts destroying guy's self-esteem and eliminating his friends.

4. Guy becomes too weak and too much of a loser to find something better than what he has.

5. Girl starts to limit sex. In effect controlling the only good thing in the guy's life.

6. Guy is in despair. Capitulates to marriage.

If you are marrying because of girlfriend or societal pressure, or because a girl got pregnant, then you are not really doing what YOU want to do with your life, but rather going with the flow and being a

TOOL to circumstances. Marriages that start out for the wrong reasons are almost guaranteed to fail.

Chapter 4

Determine if YOU want children in the near future.

You need to determine if YOU want children in the next few years. Do not talk to your girlfriend when determining if you want children. You need to determine if YOU want to spend the next 20 years of your life being responsible for raising children.

There is an unspoken taboo in our society, where if you admit that having kids wasn't quite what you thought it would be, and that if you could do it all over again that you would have chosen NOT to have

kids, then you are an evil, despicable monster.

The truth is a large percentage of parents HATE being parents. They will never say it out loud and they can't even admit that to themselves because "only an evil demon" would come to that conclusion,

they think.

Children literally turn your life upside down. Marriage, sex life, your wife's appearance, your social life, the list goes on and on and on.

Forget dressing your daughter in pretty clothes, or playing catch with your son. Think about being awaken at 2 a.m. by a sick, screaming kid who just threw up all over the bed, and who doesn't give a shit that you have to get up for work in four hours.

Talk to every father you know (preferably people close to your age). Ask them what it's really like to have children. Ask them what changes they made to their lives after they had children. Ask them how much time children take. Ask them how much effort and energy children take.

Ask them how stressful it really is to raise children. Ask them how much children cost them. Do not ask them if they are glad they had children. Nobody will admit to being unhappy even if they are.

Then determine if you want the next 20 years of your life to change the way their lives changed. It should be a yes or no answer. Children will change your life. You need to decide if you want these changes in advance. And please make this decision by yourself. You'll be responsible for your children, so the decision is entirely yours.

Don't overlook the financial aspect. One child today costs $300K-$600K to raise. You will have to commit to earning at least $20K per year per child for the next twenty years.

Let's break down the costs of raising just one child:

•

You'll need an extra bedroom. At $500/month, that's $120,000 over 20 years.

•

Food and clothing will be $200/month -$48,000 over 20 years.

•

Healthcare is another $100/month -$24,000 over 20 years.

•

Then there is travel, babysitting, and all the misc. expenses let's say $300/month -$72,000 over 20 years.

•

Now we are near $300,000 over 20 years, and we did not even talk about the biggest expense-education.

•

You want your child to go to a good private university -that will be $200,000 over 4 years.

•

How about a private school -that will be another $150,000. Add all these numbers up, then decide if you want to take this financial obligation at this time in your life.

Think of being a dad as a part-time 20-year long job that you can not quit (that's exactly what it is). I am not saying it is a good job or a bad job. It is just a part-time job that will completely change your

life for the next twenty years. Do you want this part-time 20-year long job at this time in your life?

If you determined that you do not want children in the near future, then you DO NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED now. It's that simple.

If you decided that you want children in the next few years, then you need to find a woman who'll make a good wife and mother to your children.

The National Marriage Project (marriage.rutgers.edu) puts out marriage-related studies. Their 2004 essay called The Marrying Kind: Which Men Marry and Why studied a group of married men. Only 35% of these men said they got married because they were ready to have children, yet 70% of these men ended up having children. That means that one out of three men had children without really wanting them.

This is not an anti-children book. Children are great if you want them. But the reality of the life in the west is that having children without wanting them is something you are likely to regret in the future.

Chapter 5

You determined that you do not want children in the near future.

You don't want children is the same as you don't want to get married. The ONLY reason to get married is to have children and start a family. You already decided that you don't want children for now, so you

surely don't want a wife either.

You don't want to get married means that you have to be very careful about being in a serious relationship with an American woman. American woman in a "serious" relationship will put pressure on you to get married and start a family 2-3 years into the relationship (sometimes much earlier). You'll be pressured to do what you don't really want to do.

I would highly recommend that you just have sex and have casual relationships with American women. The relationship should be over as soon as she starts controlling you, nagging, or sex becomes boring.

Do yourself a favor and stick to these basic rules when dating American women:

1. Do not move in with her. You NEED an option to easily get rid of her at any time for any reason.

2. Do not accidentally have children with her.

3. Get rid of her as soon as she starts pressuring you into marriage, nagging, bitching, controlling sex, controlling you, etc... You should look for an alternative girlfriend while dating an American

woman. Never forget that your American girlfriend is only temporary. Continue living your life as if you were single. It is very important for two reasons.

1) You might meet a foreign girl who will make a good long-term partner and with whom you can have a real relationship.

2) You will start getting too used to your present American girlfriend and she will start controlling you.

Chapter 6

You decided that you want to have kids in the next few years.

You now need to find a woman who will make a good wife and a good mother. It's better for your health, and the future health and safety of your kids.

You have a responsibility to avoid women who will make bad wives. That means, avoid all American-raised women. It's each guy's responsibility to find a woman who will make a good mother and who is the best possible choice for HIM, who will make HIM happy.

Carefully examine every woman you date and determine if she will make a good wife as described in chapter 8. Do not marry her if she does not satisfy ALL the requirements for a good wife. It does not matter how attractive she is and how much you "love" her. Do not marry her if she displays clear warning signs of a bad wife described in chapter 8.

Remember that marrying an average American woman means that at best you will have a 5% chance of having a happy marriage (see chapter 1). If you like these odds, go right ahead, just remember that your marriage is almost guaranteed to end in either divorce or you getting yourself trapped.

Foreign women from South America, Eastern Europe, and Asia will make the best wives. Only guys who travel (in other words, guys who are successful and ambitious enough to travel a lot) find these women. But they never, ever go back.

The best way to meet foreign women is to spend time abroad. Another option is to use Internet foreign dating services. I feel that spending time abroad is the better of the two. The next chapter will talk about it in greater length. But your odds of finding a good wife using foreign dating services are still much greater than marrying American woman.

Chapter 7

Travel to Latin America, Eastern Europe, or Asia at least once a year.

Every American man should try to spend at least one month a year in Latin America, Eastern Europe, or Asia. In one month at either one of these places you'll meet more beautiful and friendly women and have more and better sex than you will for the rest of the year in the US.

Trust me on that. Once you spend a few months in Latin America, Eastern Europe, or Asia, you will realize how ridiculously overpriced and selfish American women really are. You will never consider

marrying American woman after that. Most guys can not stand even dating American women after dating foreign women for a while.

If you don't think you can afford travelling a month or two a year, I suggest you spend less money on dating American women. A month in Latin America, Eastern Europe, or Asia will cost you around $1500 (or less) plus airfare ($500-$700 round-trip from the US if you don't go during the peak tourist season).

Here are some ways you can save money while dating American women:

•

Did you buy a new car mainly because you thought it would help you attract women? It's costing you $6K+/year and does nothing but attract high-maintenance bitches to you. Get rid of the new car and

buy a 10 year old Honda for under $5K. (I am not at all against buying an expensive car if you can afford it and you want it for yourself. What I am talking about are men who spend 1/4 of their

income on a car they can not afford hoping to impress dates).

•

Do you take women out to expensive restaurants? Stop. You can save $ thousands a year if you eat at moderately priced restaurants.

•

Do you buy women drinks in bars? Don't ever do that. That's probably costing you $ thousands of dollars a year as well, and you are actually getting laid less because of that.

•

Don't buy American women anything beyond token small gifts for birthday, etc. Don't ever pay for American women's shopping sprees and trips (www.noMarriage.com/loser.html).

•

Don't overspend on prostitutes. Only hire independents and bargain. There is no reason to pay a lot more than $150 in major markets and close to $100 in smaller markets. Prices abroad are even less and

the quality is much better.

•

Don’t waste money on strippers. Why waste time and money on a woman who teases but does not have sex with you. These suggestions could easily save you an additional $5-$15 thousand a year. Save the money, then use your vacation or take some unpaid time off work and head abroad.

I started www.SingleAbroad.com as a comprehensive resource for men interested in traveling and meeting local women abroad. Email me at noMarriageSite@yahoo.com if you did not get SingleAbroad.com membership with No Marriage purchase and you can join SingleAbroad.com for half price ($5 over 2 years instead of $10).

Chapter 8

Will your girlfriend be a good wife?

It is very important to understand that things you are looking for in a “cool” temporary girlfriend and a good wife and mother are completely different things.

An irresponsible and selfish American woman makes a fun temporary girlfriend, but she will make a horrible wife.

Carefully examine your girlfriend and do not marry her unless she satisfies ALL the requirements for a good wife outlined in this chapter. 1. Your girlfriend should only say positive things about you. Let’s look at the letter written by a husband married to a Brazilian wife:

My wife is Brazilian and she’s really supportive, extremely passionate, feminine, truly sweet and caring, and most of all, stands by her man, the old-fashioned way. She is so wonderful. It’s still hard for me to believe how lucky I am.

I have everything a man would love to have from a woman and wife, from loyalty and commitment to a great sex life, and she is a great cook too.

Couldn’t ask for more.

She goes to work and whenever I meet someone working with her they are eager to meet me because of what she tells them about me. Everybody thinks I am the best husband in the world!

And I am just a regular decent average man. Not ugly, not handsome, not a devil, not an angel.

I don’t have to prove anything to her, the way “sadly” most men have to prove every little thing to their American wives.

My wife and I laugh, or feel sad about all the crap her American coworkers tell her to "teach her how to deal with a man like me". Just selfish and worthless abusive advice.

If your girlfriend ever says anything negative about you to anybody, that’s a 100% guarantee that you are already not meeting her expectations. After marriage that will result in her nagging and bitching, and denying you sex.

Here are things American women usually complain about their boyfriends:

•

He is cheap. Does not take me to nice places often enough.

•

He does not pay me enough attention.

•

He does not spend enough time with me. Spends too much time with his friends, etc...

All these things indicate that your girlfriend is basically using you, by putting her interests above your interests.

How do you find out if your girlfriend is telling her friends only good things about you? Her friends will always be very nice to you. In fact, they’ll be complimenting you and telling you things like “Your

girlfriend has been saying so many nice things about you" whenever you meet them.

2. Your girlfriend should never say/think anything negative about men. You are a man. If your girlfriend does not like men, she will end up not liking you. In the US high schools and colleges teach women to blame men for everything. It is drilled into them every hour of every day, for years. The majority of American women end up not liking men by the time they graduate from college. Liking someone is a basic requirement for a successful marriage.

Furthermore, women raised by single mothers usually don’t like their fathers, because their mothers were always telling them how “awful” their fathers were (and yet these same mothers chose to have their child with this “awful” man).

Their negative attitudes towards their father will evolve into negative attitudes towards men in general and you in particular.

It’s pretty easy to figure out when a woman does not like men. Does she ever say something like "men are pigs" or blames men for any of her or society problems?

You’ve got your answer.

If you’re going to live with a woman, it is incredibly unpleasant, not to mention unhealthy, to be with a woman who basically dislikes you as a man, and whose underlying belief system is anti-male.

No matter how much she claims to "like men" you’ll find that it is a thin veneer. In times of stress and danger, she will revert. At the exact moment that you most need her trust, she will explode and attack

you. Is that the kind of life you want?

Also, there will arise a huge difference in your views. Because she is starting with the assumption that men are jerks, when she makes even the slightest effort to be nice to you, she will view this as a huge

concession on her part. She’ll think "wow, was I ever nice to him" just because she was moderately pleasant one day.

Also, she’ll view ANY mistake on your part to be a HUGE OFFENSE.

You, on the other hand, will see her constant anti-male bias as a big drain on you. It will be a constant irritation. When she does little nice things for you, you’ll view them as nowhere near enough to compensate for the constant underlying hostility. At the same time, when you make minor mistakes...which you will expect to be forgiven for immediately...you will be shocked by her overboard anger.

She will constantly be on your case. Every good thing you do will barely be acknowledged. Every bad thing you do, no matter how insignificant, will be a reason for a total blowup to her. She will

make some minor little friendly gestures, and then get all selfrighteous when you do not kiss her feet in gratitude.

3. Your girlfriend should never use sex as a weapon. Sex is usually the best for a few months after you first meet a woman, and goes downhill from there.

A woman that uses sex as a weapon is:

1. manipulative

2. has no respect for you as a man

3. thinks she is doing you a favor when having sex

Most American women view sex as a reward they give men. That will lead to less frequent sex and no sex soon after you get married.

particular sexually --who, for example, will refuse you sex or make you keep doing things in bed on the grounds that you didn’t get her off the last time.

You are going to get older and fatter and her libido is going to go off a cliff as she gets older and has kids. If she is even slightly hard to deal with sexually now (in terms of giving it up, or in terms

of demanding things from you now) she is going to be IMPOSSIBLE to deal with five years after marriage. You WILL have a sexless marriage.

4. Your girlfriend should not have negative attitude towards traditional women’s responsibilities.

Cooking, cleaning, mothering, wants kids, loves kids, loyal, trustworthy.

It does not matter if she will not be doing much cooking or cleaning after marriage.

What is important is that the wife does not have a negative attitude towards doing these things. Any trace of snobbery at doing traditional female tasks is a very bad sign of a princess.

5. Your girlfriend should not have any personality disorders. The two most common personality disorders American women have are Histrionic and Narcissistic disorders.

Histrionic disorder: manipulative, attention seekers, dominate the conversation, use grandiose language, seek constant praise, dress provocatively, exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention,

exaggerate friendships and relationships, believe that everyone loves them.

Narcissistic disorder: self-centered, seek attention and praise, take advantage of people, fantasize about success and power, expect favorable treatment, exaggerate achievements, have difficulty

maintaining long-lasting relationships, expect others to recognize them as being superior.

Many American women also have Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive, and Borderline disorders. Www.noMarriage.com website has links to additional information about personality disorders.

A woman with personality disorder(s) will make your life a living hell in no time.

6. Your girlfriend should not have a snotty and superior attitude towards anything.

This is a huge red flag that all but guarantees a miserable marriage, and yet very few men pay any attention to it. Any sign of her snootiness and superiority means that she has a “princess” syndrome.

Watch for any signs of superficial and stuck up attitude your girlfriend might have. It does not matter what she feels superior about. In time she will have this attitude towards you. She will always be putting her interests above yours and she’ll start controlling you and play mental games with you.

7. Your girlfriend should be financially responsible. Does your girlfriend regularly shop for expensive shoes and purses? She is probably financially irresponsible.

A great way to determine how good she is with money is her attitude towards engagement rings and wedding ceremonies. You don’t have to plan your own, just talk about the subject in general. Say something like: "This wedding your friends are planning sure is expensive. Wouldn’t it be smarter to spend the $20K on a down-payment on a house?" If her attitude is that the wedding is more important, then it’s a sure indicator that she is selfish and stupid with money.

If you end up buying her engagement ring, buy a very inexpensive one, and tell her you are saving the money to buy a house. Then find out if she told her friends that you bought her a cheap engagement ring.

Get a credit check on her and find out if she has credit card debt or any negative points in her credit record. Financially irresponsible woman will always overspend. After you are married you’ll be slaving

away for the rest of your life to support your wife’s ever increasing wants.

8. Your girlfriend should not try to prove anything to you and be preoccupied with fairness. US high schools and colleges also teach women that they always have to prove themselves since they are women. That mentality will lead to constant confrontations and resentment after you get married. Imagine coming home every day after work and your wife wants to prove to you

she is right whenever you have any minor disagreement or even discussion. And if you disagree, she will continue trying to prove that she is right even if it obvious that she is wrong.

You will never win any arguments, because she is more interested in proving to you that she is always right, than in solving a disagreement in good faith. You will always end up reluctantly

agreeing with her, and start building resentment towards her.

No woman with strong feminist leanings will EVER be happy with the breakdown of tasks in the household. She will ALWAYS be preoccupied with fairness and feel that she is always being taken advantage of.

9. Your girlfriend should never try to control or change you. It’s your responsibility to find a woman who is the best possible choice for YOU. She has to like you the way you are. You like to watch

football, she should never ask you not to watch football; you like to go out with friends, she should never ask you not to. She should never complain about your appearance, or even care too much about it.

If your girlfriend is controlling, it will always get much worse after marriage. She will try to take complete control of what you do and will make your life miserable.

10. Your girlfriend should never lay guilt on you and play mind games with you.

Laying guilt and playing mind games is very common with American women.

American women are, for the most part, not well suited to accept reality or to think logically. They will approach a situation with their mind already made up. Then they will twist and manipulate the

information to validate what they’re already thinking.

So their views on reality are usually messed up. And their process for arguing/interacting is not based on reality. Instead it’s based on whatever irrational tools will help them prove their point (screaming,

personal attacks, red herrings, etc).

Conclusion.

The key is to marry a woman who isn’t going to be SO MUCH DAMNED WORK.

It’s like swimming. Yes, I like to swim and I’m a good swimmer. Does that mean that I’ll choose to jump in a fast-moving river and try to swim upstream? Hell no. That’s just unpleasant. I’d rather pick a nice calm body of water to swim in.

Same with women. Don’t marry a woman who is going to be a huge pain in the ass, constant work, and constantly swimming upstream. Don’t marry a woman who will make it harder than it has to be.

Pick a woman to marry who will be a GOOD WIFE and who KNOWS HOW to be a happy, successful wife, and who KNOWS HOW to help you be a better husband. Pick a woman from a culture that encourages this.

In other words, DON’T marry an American woman. They are much, much harder to be married to, simply because they have been trained to NOT make any effort to be good wives.

They have been trained to focus exclusively on their own needs, and to completely ignore yours. They have been trained in a thousand techniques for making it all "your fault". Not fun. Being married is

damned near impossible anyway. No need to make it harder.

Chapter 9

My girlfriend will not make a good wife. Now what?

The first thing you need to do is to fully accept it. Take your time and let it sink in. It’s a very difficult thing to accept, particularly if you were planning on marrying your girlfriend and spending your life with her. Furthermore, your relationship with

your girlfriend is probably pretty good at the moment, so you don’t see how things will turn for the worse after marriage. You need to understand that the girl you are dating is not a real her. She is just

acting in her dating phase; she is essentially selling herself to you. Your married life will eventually become completely miserable if your girlfriend does not fit all the requirements for a good wife outlined in the previous chapter. Marrying her will ultimately lead to one of

the three outcomes:

1. Losing everything you earned while you were married and probably more.

2. Miserable life of a married trapped husband who would love nothing better than for his wife to go away.

3. You become a pussy/sucker (see next chapter) whose only purpose in life is to bring home a fat paycheck.

If you determined that your girlfriend will not make a good wife and your relationship is serious (she is hinting about marriage and/or children), then you have to get rid of her. Just do it. Don’t worry about her feelings or anybody else’s feeling. You only have one life and you have to worry about the best way to live YOUR life, not the best way to service your girlfriend. Whatever you do, do not move in with her and do not have children with her.

Remember, your health, and the future health and safety of your kids are at stake. You have a responsibility to avoid marrying women who will make bad wives.

Chapter 10

Suckers, Fuckers, and the truth about how American women get married.

Let’s first define a sucker and a fucker.

Sucker -also known as provider, also known as husband – docile schmuck who pays American woman’s bills and does not pester her for sex.

Fucker -a person American woman actually enjoys having sex with.

A fucker and provider can never be the same person. Fucker has to be unpredictable, interesting and exciting. A sucker has to be secure, dependable, and consequently boring. Never, ever forget that. American women do not enjoy having sex with suckers.

Until they are in their late 20s, American women are not really interested in settling down and spend most of their time with fuckers and temporary suckers (men who take them out on expensive dates but

never get laid).

American women literally separate men they meet into potential suckers and fuckers right after they meet them.

When American woman gets to about 28 she starts fraudulently selling sex, her looks, and her personality, so she can land a permanent sucker (husband).

We have all met these women in their late 20s and 30s who say they now want to “settle down” and find a “good” husband. Those are the women you want to avoid the most. Let’s look at a typical woman like that.

She majors in Liberal Arts where she basically spends four years learning how to hate men (College professors and college courses are openly anti-male). She then moves to a big city, gets a job, and moves in with a female roommate who is even a bigger bitch than she is.

She spends the next 5-10 years going out on dates and practicing using sex to get things from men, watching Friends and other similar shows where every female character is a high-maintenance bitch, and bitching with her friends that she deserves better and all men are jerks.

In her late 20s she realizes that she probably wants a house and children after all. She starts to get increasingly desperate to find a secure sucker whom she expects to work overtime for the next 30 years

so she can live in a big house, have children, and have an option of working part-time or not working at all. All that can only be possible if her husband works overtime.

Her expectations are now completely out of control and she thinks she deserves her husband to be the combination of all the best qualities of all her dates and Friends characters. She was completely

brainwashed and trained to be anti-men and to always be confrontational. Years of being single made her mentally unstable and psychotic. She has spent the last 15+ years practicing using sex to get things from men.

1. Sex before marriage.

American woman is not interested in sex with a sucker, but she pretends that she is until she is married. A woman might even pretend she likes giving him blowjobs until after the wedding day. American

woman simply uses sex as bait (either consciously or unconsciously), and having landed the fish, no longer sees the need to bait the hook.

2. Appearance before marriage.

Appearance is the most rapidly deteriorating asset a woman has. It starts deteriorating in mid twenties and is usually completely gone in her thirties. A single woman looking for a sucker puts a lot of effort

in enhancing her appearance. She will go to a gym and try to stay fit, she will dress sexy, wear push-up bras, have nice long hair, etc…

3. Personality before marriage.

Single American woman looking for a sucker will go to great lengths to come across as “nice” and “caring”. She might even make an effort to show you that she is interested in you. She will usually refrain from too much bitching and nagging until she has her ring and you are trapped.

An American woman basically puts up a "pre-marital dog & pony show" to impress you. She wants to land a stable and secure sucker so she can have her nice house and kids.

After American woman gets married, she no longer has any incentive to have sex, look nice, and act nice.

1. Sex after marriage.

Forget it. Sex with a sucker is boring and unexciting. It does not matter how much romance you put into your relationship. The simple truth is that American woman is bored after a few years of marriage,

and there is nothing you can do about it. The situation is completely pathetic. Five years into her marriage, American woman would rather have sex with anyone but her husband. Expect girls’ nights out and girls’ trips to Vegas and Mexico, where she’ll be banging strangers (married women now cheat as much as men. See statistics on www.noMarriage.com website).

It is all but accepted by society that sex is not an important part of marriage, and the husband is not entitled to as much sex as he wants.

If sex is important to you, then you should re-evaluate if this conventional view that you are not entitled to sex after marriage is acceptable to you.

Foreign women have better sex lives after marriage because they generally do not use sex as a weapon, plus they have a lot less hangups about sex to start out with. American women are raised to always

use sex as a reward for something they get, which is essentially the same as being a prostitute.

Www.nomarriage.com/marriedsex.html webpage has lots of quotes from married American men living sexless lives.

2 Appearance after marriage.

After he is married, a sucker will quickly find out that his wife never really liked gyms and exercise. One day he comes home from a long day at work, and he sees this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants

sitting on a sofa, sucking bonbons and watching Oprah. Dresses forget it, sweatpants are more comfortable. Hair gets cut since long hair is now “too much effort” to maintain.

3. Personality after marriage.

American woman already has a sucker, so she is now free to become the nagging bitch she was raised to be. She is always bored with her married life and tired of responsibilities that come with being

married, and she no longer has any reason to hide it. Expect nagging, bitching and confrontations over small things to become daily occurrences until the life of a sucker is one continuing nag and bitchfest.

You see, once American woman has her house and children, she doesn’t need you any more, except as a meal ticket.

Ask your married friends with children how their wives changed after marriage. Most will eventually admit that their sex lives are now nonexistent, and their wives became nagging bitches who lost all

femininity and no longer even resemble women.

Chapter 11

Why marriage to American woman no longer makes sense.

Modern American woman wants all the benefits of "equality" without any of the responsibilities that come with equality.

American women want special privileges from the traditional system (men paying, being "gentlemen" by using special deferential manners and language to women, being the main breadwinner, etc) but not the old-fashioned obligations (being modest and ladylike, being a housewife, etc).

You can’t take only the good from both systems...you have to take the bad with the good in any balance you strike. When American women try to have their cake and eat it in this way, the bad doesn’t disappear...it gets paid by men, and this is why the current culture is one of exploitation by selfish hypocritical American women.

The current American culture discourages women being looked at critically, instead projecting all blame unjustly onto men; and so the inequity is rationalized away.

This is why other cultures which haven’t got this screwed up as far as gender relations go, start to look very attractive. The women there expect to give as well as get.

Www.nomarriage.com/50s.html has the article called "The good wife’s guide" from 1955 issue of Housekeeping monthly. Check out the article. It looks almost laughable today. But it’s no laughing matter. That’s what women were expected to do to make marriage fair and balanced.

Chapter 12

Do not get into relationship and marriage discussions with American women.

It cannot succeed.

They don’t like it, because it shows in plain black and white how hypocritical and selfish American women are as a group, and how they are taking advantage of men, children, and all of society in order to satisfy their emotional whims.

Never, ever expect any American woman, of any age, to discuss these issues honestly. They won’t answer you honestly, they won’t "admit" the truth, and they won’t stop spinning the truth.

They are purely, completely selfish. Their entire thought process – their "world view" is completely selfish. They are utterly brainwashed by feminism to consider themselves "innocent" and men "guilty" at ALL times no matter what reality is. It doesn’t matter how wildly unfair the situation. Somehow, American women will keep making everything "men’s fault".

Even the very few American women who are able to think independently about this, and who want to understand your feelings (let’s say you’re talking to a woman who is a close friend and respects you) are largely a waste of time. They will talk and talk and talk with you. They will sympathize and intellectualize. But in the end, you’ll find that there was no real conclusion. They talked so much, they managed to evade the point.

Here is a list of "bullshit evasion tactics" that American women ALWAYS use in these arguments:

1. The Knee-jerk Insult. "You’re just an asshole. I’m not even going to discuss that" (Why,

because I’m saying something you don’t want to think about? Yeah.)

2. The Standard Feminist Attack. "You’re just a woman hater" (Anybody who criticized the behavior of

women is a woman-hater. Of course, anybody who criticized men’s behavior is...a good citizen).

3. The Manhood Insult. "You probably never get laid" (When she was a girl, she could always

manipulate men by insulting their manhood. Why not try it again...).

4. The Sly implication that you’re a loser. "Wow, you need a girlfriend!" "What’s the matter, still mad at mommy?" (Much easier to attack the other person than to actually discuss the issue)

5. The Big Distraction...Ignore Point and Attack Men on Completely Unrelated Issue.

(This is a favorite of feminists. If you make a criticism of women, they just pop out some completely unrelated and disconnected sideattack against men. Like you say "why do women use Divorce to screw over men?" and she says "Men earn 10% higher salaries in the Coal Mining industry!" If you say "pay attention, talk to me about Divorce Laws!!" she says "Did you know that in Honduras it’s still legal for men to beat their wives?")

Their goal is to evade your point and/or derail the argument, any way possible.

How to talk to modern western women.

I found that by far the best way to discuss relationships with western women is to say something like: “I wish I could grow and have a meaningful relationship with a strong woman like you, but

unfortunately I keep falling in love with foreign women. I just can’t help myself.”

Then use the following suggestions after her replies:

•

I can only assume you have never been in love.

•

Yes, I wish I could maintain a relationship. But my love just fades after a few weeks. And you know how it is to be in a loveless relationship.

•

Well, I can not help it. It is the way my mother raised me. So it is her fault.

•

I see you have never grown apart from the one you loved.

•

I wish you would offer me support, not insults. If you want to be more serious, there is a very simple way to address western/foreign women issue. Non-western women were raised in a manner that keeping their husbands happy is one of the main goals in their lives. Western women were raised in exactly the opposite manner. Any sane man would choose a woman who is going to treat him better, so choosing a non-western woman is the obvious default decision.

A western woman has to explain why you should choose her over a nonwestern woman. If she can not do that (which she can not obviously), then what she thinks and what she wants is irrelevant to you. You do not need to explain or prove anything to her because she offers nothing you want.

Western women ranting about foreign women is nothing more than a nuisance; think of them as homeless women heckling because a Lexus is an ugly color.

Chapter 13

The biggest costs in marriage are initiated by women but have to be paid for by men.

In the 1950s a working man could support a stay-at-home wife and children with one income. Today it is all but impossible. The main reason for it is because the cost of housing and the cost of having

children essentially doubled (adjusted for inflation) when women started working. Housing and children used to take one income, now they take two incomes. That creates an extremely stressful and

difficult situation for married men because women will often choose to work part-time or not work at all after having children. So men now have to work double to compensate for their wives working less.

What makes things even worse is that women initiate the biggest costs in marriage, but men are responsible for paying for them even thought men did not want those things. Women usually want a big house and expensive home improvements. Women also want to have children early (often because of the biological clock). The big house and children happen do be the two biggest costs in marriage. Nothing else even comes close.

A sports car a husband wants costs less than a small bathroom addition.

That makes marriage extremely unattractive for men for economic reasons.

Today’s women have equality and should pay for what they want without expecting to be subsidized by men.

A woman wants a big house. She should pay for the house herself. Her husband would probably be perfectly happy living in a two-bedroom apartment. Why should he be responsible for doubling or tripling his mortgage payment when his wife is the one who wants the house.

A woman wants a $25,000 Corian countertop. She should be responsible for paying all of the $25,000. Why should her husband be responsible for paying even half of the $25,000 if he does not want a new countertop to begin with.

A woman wants to have children because of her biological clock. She should pay for raising them herself. 30-year-old men do not want children. Why are they expected to be financially responsible for

children they did not want to have.

60 Minutes TV show (aired on Oct 10, 2004) had an interesting report on how more and more career women quit workforce after having children. They interviewed a researcher who called couples from 1996

NY Times marriage announcements where both husband and wife had highpowered jobs; and she found out that 85% of these women no longer work 8 years later. They also interviewed the dean of Harvard business schools who said that only 40% of female Harvard MBA graduates work in their child-raising years. The dean then said some nonsense about how companies ought to hold jobs opened for women for 10 years.

This trend is very relevant to you, particularly if you make average (as opposed to way above average) salary. What it means is that there is a very high probability that, regardless of what your GF is saying

now, she will not be working after having children. And since the costs of buying a house and raising children now require two full-time incomes, you will probably have a very hard time (see chapter on

stress below) providing for your wife and children on one salary.

Chapter 14

Men’s responsibility is an obsolete concept.

Three things are always emphasized whenever marriage is discussed today:

1. Men’s responsibilities.

2. Women’s entitlements and women’s best interests.

3. Children’s entitlements and children’s best interests.

Two things are noticeably missing from every discussion – women’s responsibilities and men’s best interests and entitlements. And they are missing for a very good reason -because they do not exist.

American women today do not have responsibilities, and American men today do not have their own best interests. Pay attention to that when you read articles about marriage in newspapers and magazines; not one of them will mention women’s responsibilities or men’s best interests.

Articles about marriage usually try to sell marriage to men using a couple of bogus reasons:

1. Married men live "longer". It used to be somewhat true because married men lived sheltered lives. But it is no longer even true. Married men today still live boring and sheltered lives, but they are

also constantly stresses from working 60-hour weeks and never-ending bitching at home. So men marrying today will live shorter lives (see next chapter).

2. Married men earn more in their lifetimes. That is true, but only because married men are forced to work 60-hour weeks to support their spoiled wives and children, while single men can take it easy, work less, and actually enjoy life rather than living the constant

work/bitch-wife drudgery. The last point actually goes to the very core of why government

supports marriage -married men slaving away at their jobs will pay more in taxes, and married men will finance women's consumption and raising children.

Marriage today is basically a transfer of wealth from men to women (that is the REAL reason women want marriage). A typical marriage -> children -> divorce scenario results in about $200,000-$300,000 in wealth transfer from a man to his ex-wife. Marriage will last for about 5-7 years. A man will typically lose everything he earned in these 5-7 years in divorce. And the man will then be stuck paying

child support for the next 18 years (most of which his ex-wife will spend on herself rather than children). Marriages that do not end in divorce will result in even more transfer of wealth from men to women since men will be spending most of their paycheck on women for the

rest of their lives. So forget about your so-called “responsibilities” and focus on your best interests.

Chapter 15

Unmarried men will live longer and happier lives. Stress in married men’s lives.

Women like to say that married men live longer and happier lives. That of course is complete nonsense because this statistic looks at men who die today (men born 70-80 years ago) and projects result on men who marry today (men born 30 years ago).

Men born in the 1920s and 1930s married around 1950s. Back then only drunks, drug addicts, and criminals were not marrying and starting a family in their 20s or early 30s. So of course married men would appear to live longer when compared to drunks, drug addicts, and criminals who usually die young.

So married men in the past did not live longer and happier lives because they got married. They lived longer and happier lives because they had their act together in the first place.

Also, women back then did not have demanding and nagging attitudes they have today. So married men back then did not have stressful miserable lives married men have today.

Today things are completely reversed. Married men today are stressed

more than ever. And stress always leads to health problems and premature deaths.

I recently read an interesting research report about how lawyers are two to three times more likely to become alcoholics and drug addicts because they are always stressed and unhappy. The same applies to

married men. How many married men today are happy and not always stressed? Not too many.

Let’s look at stress married men are exposed to in further detail. Not many men think about it before marriage, but they really should.

Commute stress

There were recently several research reports on the very underestimated negative health effects of car or train commute. The main reason men have long commutes is because their wives wanted to

buy a big house in a good school district that is far from men’s jobs.

Here are some results of the commute stress research by Dr David Lewis (a psychologist and author of several books on stress) and Dr Karol Watson (of the Centre for Cholesterol and Hypertension Management at UCLA):

•

Average journey by train or bus is more stressful than being a fighter pilot in combat, or a police officer in a riot.

•

As passengers’ stress levels rocket, their brains switch off, leading to a condition they identified as “commuter amnesia”.

•

Commuters could suffer serious heart problems. Road rage, detours and running late raised blood pressure by nearly 75 per cent.

•

The normal resting heartbeat on a healthy young person is about 60 beats per minute. However, as they battled to and from work, the volunteers' heartbeats reached peaks of more than double that comparable with the rate during strenuous exercise. Dr Lewis said: "Getting to this rate during physical exercise is good but commuters get this from purely psychological reasons and it puts them at risk

of serious heart problems."

•

A difficult journey to work and the loss of control felt by the commuter can induce intense feelings of pressure, fast pulse rates

and high blood pressure.

•

Stress plays a major role in the premature aging of cells, which makes them more vulnerable to disease. Stress appeared to have a major impact at a cellular level — dramatically affecting molecules

that are believed to play a key role in cell aging. Job stress Married men with families to support HAVE to work. They are likely to work longer hours than single men because they need to earn more money in the first place. Working longer hours in itself is more stressful.

Beyond that, employers know that they can delegate married men more things to the point of overworking them and married men are less likely to complain. With a single man there is always a risk he may just say “screw it” and walk away if he is not happy with his work. Married men don’t usually have the option of walking away, they have a mortgage and children to pay for.

Another related aspect of working stress married men have is the ongoing realization that they HAVE to continue working the jobs even if they don’t like them for years or decades to come. It’s basically

the realization that they are not really in control of their lives. A single man who does not like his job usually has options to quit/do something else/move. Married men don’t have this flexibility and often

find themselves in a lose/lose situation. They are screwed if they stop working the job they don’t like, and screwed if they continue.

This ongoing realization that they are trapped for the next 20 years can be very stressful and lead to serious health problems.

Family stress

Married men's family stress is caused by frequent nagging by wives and the overall negative and non-supportive attitude majority of married men are exposed to throughout their lives. Modern western woman often takes pride in not supporting her husband and contributing to his emotional stress. A lot of married men find themselves in a situation where they hate going to work and hate going home.

Stress at home and overworked work schedule also contribute to men's poor eating habits, becoming overweight, and becoming addicted to alcohol and drugs. Being overweight and substance abuse then in turn further contribute to men's health problems, creating somewhat of a negative self-reinforcing cycle.

Men who are not married and do not to have children to support have no real reasons to be stressed. They never have to deal with nagging wives. They don’t have to worry about making mortgage payments on a huge house their wives made them buy. They don’t have a responsibility of paying for children they did not want. They can live within a short commute from their jobs. They don’t even have to worry about keeping a steady job. A single guy can always start a part-time business that will eventually make him a nice living. It might take a few years, but it’s pretty easy to do if you don’t have a nagging wife who DEMANDS that you always have a secure job and bring home a fat paycheck every two weeks.

Take a look at how married and single men in their mid 30s look. A lot of single men look like they are 25. A lot of married men look like they are 45. What ages their appearance is stress.

I will make a conservative prediction and say that men who marry today will die at least 5 years younger from stress and stress-related problems than men who’ll stay single.

Chapter 16

Western women and their Psychological/Mental problems.

This is a very important issue and something I am currently looking at closer. It is clear that almost all western women have serious psychological/mental problems and are generally unhappy. Non-western women however rarely have these problems, so western women must acquire these problems because of the way they are raised and brought up.

USA today (on 2/15/2005) had an interesting article about the selfesteem bubble American girls are raised with. The self-esteem bubble may help partially explain why western women end up mentally screwed up and damaged goods as potential wives.

The article talks about how schools and parents constantly boost girls’ self-esteem and make girls feel good about themselves. For the first 20+ years of their lives western girls are always told how

wonderful they are even though they may be completely worthless. The end result is that women are raised with a very inflated sense of self and inflated sense of entitlement and expectations.

Later in life the inflated sense of self comes in conflict with reality and women break down psychologically. Women find themselves in various "put up or shut up" type situation and they can not produce.

So women's sense of entitlement, high expectations, and their sense of what they were always told they deserve come in conflict with reality. Woman's lives end up not going as well as their inflated expectations; and that leads to depression and the long list of other serious

psychological problems.

If biologically women were designed to raise children, then they were not designed for a career, any kind of competitive environment, or "succeeding" in general. It does not mean that women can not succeed in a career, but it means that they are not happy while doing it. Yet all western girls today are raised to aspire to succeed, regardless of whether it will make them happy or not.

Non-western women are raised without “success” expectations or even inspirations. Their main inspiration is often to be a “good wife”, so it makes perfect sense that non-western women end up a lot more happy and mentally stable.

Chapter 17

Are you better off living by yourself?

I had an interesting feedback from one reader. The following are his quotes:

•

Sex and maybe eating out or going to a movie are probably the only things I want a female company for.

•

I know there are women who could tolerate me or maybe not complain too much but I just don't want anyone around.

•

I just don't want my life tied permanently to another. Especially legally or financially. There's no right woman as far as I'm concerned.

•

I just don't want them around at all unless I invite them over and they leave when I want to be alone.

•

I still have girlfriends but there's no need to marry them or cohabitate.

I think it's a very interesting way to look at things. If you mostly agree with the quotes above, then marriage or living with a woman may not be for you at all.

This brings up an interesting theory I have that may partially explain why marriages used to work, but no longer seem to work. In the past people married earlier in life, usually men and women (particularly

women) did not live alone before getting married. So people did not have a reference point on how it was to live alone.

What we have now is people getting married after they had lived alone for years and possibly prefer living alone. Once the initial "excitement” of living together wears off, both people start comparing

their current lives with their previous single lives. Their previous single lives were usually a lot more fun, responsibility-free, and stress-free; so it makes perfect sense that people separate and go back to being single.

Obviously not everyone living alone prefers it. Many, perhaps most people living alone would probably prefer to live with a partner. But you may just be one of those people who is simply better off living

alone and for whom living with a woman would be a burden.

The 2004 essay The Marrying Kind: Which Men Marry and Why (marriage.rutgers.edu) found that the older the man gets, the less likely he is to get married. The men they studied were between 25 and

34 years old. 22% of men in their study group thought that marriage was not for them. However, if you only take 30-34 year old men from this group, then the percentage of those not interested in getting

married anytime soon goes up to 54%, and 68% of the 30-34 year old men say that at this stage in life they want fun and freedom.

Chapter 18

“Monogamy is only due to a man’s failure in business” JP Getty.

“Monogamy is only due to a man’s failure in business”. It sounds very cynical, but there is a deep meaning behind it, and it does not even matter what your opinion on monogamy is.

I polled American women on this issue and the results were startling.

I first asked women: “Do you think monogamy, marriage, and commitment is in the best interest of an average man?” Almost 100% of women replied “Yes”.

I then asked the same women: “Do you think monogamy, marriage, and commitment is in the best interests of famous athletes and

entertainers?” The majority of the same women now replied “No”. The reasons they gave were:

• Rich and famous get too much attention from women to be monogamous.

•

Rich and famous have too good of a life to be monogamous.

•

Rich and famous can always find a wife later on in life.

Let’s think how ridiculously hypocritical this is. What women are

saying is that guys who are poor and don’t have much going for them

should get married and have committed relationships. And guys who have money and can easily attract women should play the field and not be monogamous. So what does marriage become then – institution best

suited for men who are not successful in life?

Chapter 19

Research shows that marriage makes men literally dumber.

Recent research by Satoshi Kanazawa (psychologist at the University of Canterbury, New Zealand) indicates that marriage causes men’s mind to literally rot.

Satoshi Kanazawa studied biographies of 280 great scientists and identified a clear relationship between men’s scientific achievement and marriage. He found that the great scientists stopped producing scientific breakthroughs virtually overnight after they got married.

He also found that men who did not get married continued producing significant scientific contributions well into their 30s and 40s.

Marriage has the same dampening effect on geniuses in music, painting, writing, and all other fields.

If marriage has this effect on great scientists, then think of how much damage it does to the brain of an average guy like you and me?

Women are creativity killers. You do anything that’s even slightly out of the ordinary and you get an hour-long bitchfest about how "you need to grow up" and "why can’t you be like normal people".

Marriage becomes a funeral to your dreams and inspirations. It sucks the life out of you. Wife’s constant babbling, questions, nagging, bitching, put-downs, criticism, etc turn men’s brain into a compliant blob of mush. At first, the mind is vigilant, but just as the old saying goes, "It only takes time to break down the mind". As a result, after marriage men will often change from curious and ambitious

individuals to boring, do-nothing, brainless, energy-zapped zombies.

Chapter 20

Financial planning for single men.

You need to realize that you are much better off financially than your married and divorced co-workers.

Most of your married co-workers spend 75%-95% of their income on their spoiled wives and kids.

Your divorced co-workers with child support spend about 25%-30% of their pre-tax pay (often well over 50% of after-tax pay) on child support. They probably also got completely wiped out financially

during their divorce, effectively losing 5-15 years worth of everything they earned.

That means that majority of your male co-workers survive on a fraction of their income. As a single childless person you have very little excuse for not saving and investing a large percentage of your income. You should save and invest at least half of your income if you make really good money. You need to seriously re-evaluate your lifestyle if you live paycheck to paycheck. You probably either have some costly addictions you need to overcome or you spend way too much money on

dating women. Chapter 7 has some good suggestions on how you can save money while dating American women.

If you make pretty good money and don’t have to pay for children and a house in a good school district, then you may be able retire within 15 years or semi-retire (where you work around 20 hours a week and take a few months off a year) within 10 years.

A very smart thing to do is to buy a house or an apartment and get one or several roommates to pay most of the mortgage. That way your monthly payment can actually be less than what you are currently

paying to rent. (That is currently hard to do in areas like Boston, NYC, DC, LA, SF, etc. Housing prices there are a little out of control and renting there is currently cheaper than buying. But this situation

will likely soon correct itself with housing prices in these areas declining to align with rents). Get a good price on a house near college campus that needs a few hundred hours of work and fix it up

yourself. You can also convert the basement into a stand-along apartment for rent. You should be able to pay the house off within 1015 years and then you will no longer have house payments or rent to

worry about.

You should also consider starting your own business, particularly if you are working at a dead-end office job. There are many businesses you can start with mostly your spare time and very little money while you are still employed. Go to a bookstore and start reading books that describe different business you can start.

Your own business will eventually give you flexibility to work your own hours and take a lot of time off to travel. Most people who have done very well financially own their own businesses.

If you are having problems saving money, then you may want to try my recent invention – “marriage role-play shock therapy” ™. It is very simple, it will help you save money, and it will prepare you for the future marriage. It works like that -you take every paycheck from now on, you put half of it in a jar, and you forget about it. Every time you think you are short on money, you take an additional $100 and put it in a jar as a penalty for complaining. Pretty soon you will have plenty of money saved up and you will be ready for marriage.

Chapter 21

Living together with a girlfriend.

Be very careful when you move together with your girlfriend. In some geographic locations living together for a certain amount of time becomes a common-law marriage (which means that you and your girlfriend are basically married). I am against living with women because it is simply not worth it. The benefits do not outweigh the loss of freedom in my opinion. But if you decide to move in with your girlfriend, then at least learn about common-law marriage laws in your area and make sure you do not get stuck in one.

Some things to do to avoid being stuck in common-law marriage:

•

Do not live with the same woman for over a year or two (in some areas even less). Find out exactly how many years or months you have to live with the same woman to be in a common law marriage in your area.

•

Keep all your money separate. Do not share bank accounts or credit cards.

•

Do not buy a house together. Buy your own house and have her pay you rent as a roommate.

•

Do not buy/lease a car together.

•

Do not add each other to insurance policies (car, health, etc).

•

Have a roommate rental agreement. See an attorney if you own a house and your girlfriend wants to move in. You will be VERY pissed if in a few years she will be in a legal position to kick you out of your own house.

Be very careful with single mothers. You might get stuck paying child support for the next 15 years if you are proven to have formed a "bond" with her children. Taking children once a week to a ballpark

for a couple of months will probably constitute forming a bond. Do not pay for children. Financially supporting children will certainly constitute forming a bond. If you do pay, just give your girlfriend

cash and let her pay. That way there will at least be no record of you paying for children.

Chapter 22

Things to do before you get married.

Before you get married you absolutely HAVE TO sit down with your girlfriend and have a long and non-romantic conversation (or several long and non-romantic conversations). The purpose of this conversation is to determine two things:

1. Agree on children

2. Agree on money

Your answers and your girlfriend’s answers should be specific, not vague. And if your answers don't match, then you're not ready for marriage.

1. Agree if you both want children, and, if so, when and how many. If you can not agree on that, then don't get married. Also, talk about who will be responsible for what when it comes to raising children.

That's not the issue either one of you should compromise on. As you already know, I am very much against marriage unless you want children, but, regardless of what you end up doing, at least agree on

children before you get married.

2. Talk about money. Who will earn it. What kind of lifestyle you both want. What kind of house you both want. Who will be spending money. What will the money be spent on. Disagreements about money are the main reason marriages start having problems. The more on the same page you are about money, the better your chances of a good marriage. Keep in mind that your girlfriend may not be 100% honest with you about money before you get married. She is not likely to tell you that

she wants you to make a lot of money so she can spend a lot of money. So use your best judgement when you have this conversation and make sure what she says agrees with what she does. If she tells you that buying lots of expensive shoes will not be important to her, yet you

know she goes to a mall every week, then she is probably lying. Hire an attorney and write a good pre-nup. Your girlfriend obviously must be willing to sign one.

Document the assets you have before marriage and the value of these assets (that's particularly important if you own a house). Keep these assets separate from the assets you acquire together during your marriage.

After marriage you should have your money, her money, and both of your money (in three different accounts). You should agree on how you will structure that before you get married.

Chapter 23

Frequently Asked Questions.

What’s wrong with mainstream marriage/relationships advice?

Mainstream marriage/relationships advice is garbage.

Mainstream marriage/relationships advice assigns men all the responsibility and gives women all the entitlements. It tells man to work long hours, provide good income, split responsibility with his wife at home and with children, and shower his wife with love and affection. Woman on the other hand has to do nothing, and nothing is her fault. Mainstream marriage advice basically says that a man is a slave who has to sacrifice his life for the good of his spoiled wife and kids.

Shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil are in business of making fat, selfcentered American women feel good about themselves. With hubby’s credit card in one hand and a box of bon-bons in the other, they are a great demographic to cater to.

Here is a typical show:

Man: We're not having sex enough.

Audience/Host: You're not romantic enough.

Man: Have spent XXX thousands of dollars on restaurants, candles, flowers, etc.

Audience/Host: Your wife is tired from job/kids, etc.

Man: So am I, but have set up numerous kid-free vacations, hired a maid, done all the household chores, etc.

Audience/Host: Go to counseling.

Man: Spent XXX thousands on counseling. Got a pretty good idea of how terrible I am, but still no sex.

Audience/Host: Marriage is about more than sex.

Man: Agreed. But twice a year?

Audience/Host: Don't be so selfish.

Can American woman change and become a good wife?

Absolutely and categorically NO. American woman has several fundamental problems that will never go away and will actually get worse a few years after she is married:

1) Her self-centeredness, her ridiculously high expectations, her sense of entitlement, her high-maintenance, superficial, and stuck up attitude, her snootiness and her sense of superiority. This “princess” syndrome means that she will always think that she is better than you, and that she deserves and she is entitled to whatever she wants from you.

2) Her inherent anti-male bias and pre-occupation with fairness that was drilled into her at high school, college, and through the media. Her constant confrontations and trying to prove herself and to make a

point.

3) Her general mental instability and psychological disorders.

4) Her being distinctly non-feminine.

5) Her using sex as a weapon and reward to get things.

All these things have been deeply engrained into her brain over the first 20-30 years of her life and she is not going to change.

With foreign women, you don’t really have any of these problems:

1) Anti-male bias in education system and in the media abroad does not exist.

2) Foreign women have a lot less expectations and sense of entitlements. Many foreign women have zero superficial, stuck-up and superior attitudes.

3) Foreign women are a lot more mentally stable.

4) Foreign women are very feminine.

5) Foreign women were not raised to use sex as a reward they give.

Will a foreign woman become Americanized nagging bitch after moving to the US?

It’s possible, but it’s not likely. Your odds of having a happy relationship with the non-American raised woman are infinitely greater. First of all, she was not raised in an anti-male culture. She

was also raised to be a lot less spoiled, self-centered, and have a lot less expectations. A lot of foreign women living in the US with American husbands/ boyfriends look at native born North American women as pathetic children, not real women. Many foreign women choose not even to socialize with North American women; as they have their own culture that they prefer.

SingleAbroad.com deals with this issue in greater detail. Some men

actually prefer to spend time abroad and date women there, but not bring them to the US.

Surely not all American women are damaged goods.

Sure there are exceptions. The real issue is why would you look for a

rare exception among American women when there are tens of millions of foreign women who’ll make much better wives or girlfriends. Marrying or even seriously dating an American woman is simply an unacceptable risk. Let’s say you find a woman who does not seem overly selfish and materialistic. How do you know if her core beliefs are not anti-male?

How do you know she will not become confrontational and preoccupied with fairness after marriage? How do you know she does not have personality disorders that will cause her to always be depressed, etc? How do you know she’ll continue having regular sex after marriage?

How do I tell my parents I don’t really want to get married, or I don’t want to marry an American woman?

You parents were raised with different values. That’s the main reason marriage in prior generations lasted. You have to explain to them that things have changed, and marriage to an American woman is the dumbest thing a man can do today. It will take them a while to understand it, but they eventually will.

Are things really as bad as you are describing?

Things are only bad if you get suckered into marrying an American woman or having children with an American woman. Things are better than ever if you don’t want to get married at all, or if you find a foreign woman who was raised in a culture conducive to being a good wife.

Chapter 24

Marriage and relationship quotes.

Marriage is a farce --a social construct that binds two people together when it is quite possible (if not probable) that each of them will grow to want different things out of life. Too often --instead

of acknowledging this basic fact, one tries to "change" the other, or each tries to change the other. OR --they both cave "for the sake of saving the marriage" while sacrificing happiness in the only life that

they know for sure that they have...

Marriage turns to crap no matter what you do. At best it’s a tedious bore. At worst a living hell with financial ruin thrown in for good measure.

American women put up a "pre-marital dog & pony show" to impress you. Make you think you’re in love. But once you sign the dotted line of marriage, BAM, they get fat, bitchy, cheat on you, and ass-rape you in divorce court.

American women offer up a shit sandwich and then get pissed off when men go elsewhere to eat.

If I ever think I want to get married, I’ll find a woman I don’t like and buy her a house. Marriage -The coffin of love --Ambrose Bierce Marriage -attempt to make something permanent out of something

temporary.

Chapter 25

No Marriage List of the Best US Cities for Single Men.

Please email me your comments and suggestions regarding the list.

The main criteria used for the list:

1. Many friendly and easy-to-meet women.

2. Overall a nice place to live (Variety of things to do. Not too much crime, traffic, pollution). The Absolute Worst Cities

• San Francisco and the SF Bay Area

• Seattle

San Francisco and Seattle are in the class of their own as absolutely the worst cities for single men. The cities have more young men than women because of the technology industry. Plus, most women there are feminist bitches with bad attitude who purposely ugly themselves up. This is the accurate description of both places:

Like a female bitter ugly bomb was dropped on the city. Single males are in a living hell up there unless you fall into the extremely small percentage of what is considered attractive up here (which means multiple piercings, sloppy unwashed hair, hard-line democrat liberal hippie leanings, etc). The women are pasty, always 15 pounds overweight, ugly, and have the NYC attitude like they are all 10s.

• Vancouver and Toronto. Canadian special. Vancouver has the same problems as San Francisco. Toronto is the worst of SF and NY in one place. Toronto may very well be the worst city in the world to meet and date women.

The Worst Cities

• New York City

• Los Angeles

NYC and LA are good if you enjoy playing women's mind-games and throwing money at women. NYC and LA have the most psychotic and mentally unstable women. You'll be dating one psychotic bitch after another. But many are hot.

• Boston Stuck-up women. Not worth any effort.

• Denver Stuck up women. Ski/outdoor culture attracts more young men than women.

• San Diego Smaller version of Los Angeles.

The Best Medium size to Big Cities (in alphabetical order)

• Chicago, IL

• Dallas, TX

• Kansas City, MO

• Milwaukee, WI

• Minneapolis/St Paul, MN

• Nashville, TN

• Oklahoma City, OK

• Omaha, NE

• St Louis, MO

The best Small to Medium size Cities

• Baton Rouge, LA -big college population

• Charleston, SC

• Knoxville, TN -big college population

• Little Rock, AR

• Madison, WI -big college population

• Savannah, GA

The best college towns College towns are small, but they may offer a good lifestyle to single men. They have a variety of things to do, plus there are many college women to choose from.

• Athens, GA

• Auburn, AL

• Iowa City, IA

Comments on other cities

• Austin, TX

The problem with Austin is that every feminist bitch in Texas moves there. But it's a great city overall. So it's a bit of a mixed bag. Austin probably belongs on the list of the best cities though.

•

Portland, OR and Pacific Northwest in general Better than San Francisco, but the same general problems.

Conclusion I am not suggesting that Midwestern and Southern women will make good wives and good mothers. But they are definitely less damaged goods than women in large coastal cities.

Chapter 26

Final thoughts

Take a couple of days off work and go to divorce court. Do it, particularly if you are still considering marrying an American woman. Divorce court is where the true colors of American women are in full

display. It is an extremely eye opening experience. It will really help you understand how selfish and hypocritical American women really are.

I would like to thank you for buying my book. No Marriage is by no means satirical or exaggerated. It’s meant to be an accurate portrayal of contemporary marriage and contemporary American women. I hope that it helped you decide if you want to get married in the near future and if your girlfriend will make a good wife.

I’ll finish the book by looking at marriage from a different angle. Let’s think about all the effort being put into promoting and encouraging marriage. Think of how much government promotes marriage.

Think of how much every woman promotes marriage. Go to any bookstore and look at a long list of women’s magazines and women’s self-help books – they all promote marriage. Think of how much TV, movies, and the media